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| High school is a distant memory filled with laughter and regrets. |
This September, I will attend my forty-year class reunion, two years later than it should have been due to Covid. As a member of the Upper Dauphin Area class of 1980, I have been out of high school for 42 years. However, my memories of that time are still pretty sharp. I still recall the feeling of walking through those halls and watching so many people pass by me each day. The class bell rang and we quickly shuffled around to get to our next class. The sound of lockers slamming, students chatting, laughing and having to talk over the daily announcements on the office intercom is a vivid memory.
In some ways, it was the best time of my life. But in other ways, it wasn't that great. The thing about being young is the many lessons that we haven't learned yet. I often say that I would love to go back to high school knowing what I know now. My high school experience would have been completely different. Besides the fact that plucking your eyebrows until they're gone is really stupid, here's what I learned.
Being popular is overrated
Popularity is often based on looks, talents, athletic ability and social status. The attractive people are admired. The kids who come from money are admired. And the great athletes or talented ones are admired. Being popular seems to be something we all secretly crave in high school, but only a select few achieve it. The same five girls get on the homecoming court and prom court and the popular guys in high school are usually good looking, talented, or on the football team or into some kind of sports. At least that's how it was when I was in high school.
I wish life wasn't like this. Why do we need to lift certain people up on a pedestal and give them royal status by putting a crown on their heads? It's kinda meaningless if you think about it. Popularity is not always a true representation of the person and the honor they deserve. Sometimes the popular people are the least deserving of admiration. You can know a person by the way they treat other people, and popular people are not always beautiful on the inside.
I went to the prom with the prom king my senior year. I was happy for him, but everyone has something special about them. All the girls should have worn tiaras to the prom, and the football field was big enough for every senior girl. We should have all been out there having fun on homecoming night. I recall that Lori on the Partridge Family called it a "dubious distinction" when she was voted onto the Homecoming Court. I think she had a point.
If I could go back to high school and do things over, being popular would be the last thing on my mind. A lot of my insecurities in high school were caused by the pressure I put on myself to be well-liked. That was important to me back then. The way people saw me consumed my thoughts. I'm glad I outgrew that.
I wish I would have had someone in my life back then who made me realize what's truly important in life. Having people like and admire you is not an important goal. A much better goal is striving to be helpful, kind and respectful toward others.
The wallflowers are worth knowing
One thing I learned since high school is that most people are worth knowing, even when they seem a little odd or unpopular. Unless they are hateful, everyone has something valuable to offer. I spent time with a few select people in high school. I hung out with my circle of friends. But I wish that I had made an effort to look beyond my own little group and get to know others.
I wish that I had granted more respect and acknowledgment to the students who didn't stand out...the shy ones, the uncertain ones, and the loners. I wish that I would have been more of an encourager to the underdogs. High school is hard for people who struggle to fit in and one kind person can make a big difference in someone's life. I could have been that person, but I just wasn't mature enough to consider what other people might be going through. Empathy is something I learned over time. The most empathetic people are always the ones who have suffered the most.
If I was walking those high school halls today, my mind would be on the people I passed each day and not so much on myself. I've learned that I have a purpose in this life and my purpose is not about me. Loving others is more important than being loved by others. People who live that out each day are the ones deserving of admiration, applause and a crown.
Learn a profitable skill that you love In high school, my skills were art, baton twirling and gymnastics. But none of these things could have been a future side-job. Yes, art is something that can be profitable, but other than being voted "most artistic" and selling a watercolor for $15 at an art show, I had no payoff for the time I invested in my high school art.
I didn't love art. My sister did, and she went on to be a professional artist with a degree in fine arts. She learned a profitable skill in high school that made a difference in her life after graduation. I had plenty of time to do the same and I should have had more focus. The best time to learn new skills is when your're young in my opinion. People can learn new skills at any age, but our brains are sharper in our younger years. Plus we have much more time ahead of us to perfect that skill and profit from it when we get started young.
I wish I had spent more time in the kitchen baking with my mom, who was a self-taught cake decorator. The last time I baked, I made chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter icing for a church picnic. As people started to head home, several women came up to me and told me how delicious those cupcakes were. One person asked for the icing recipe. My name was on the container, so I guess they asked around and figured out who the cupcake lady was because I didn't know most of them. I also won a baking contest once, so baking is in my blood. My grandmother on my dad's side made pies for a living and she was very good at it.
Another skill I could have perfected in high school was photography. We had a photography club and at the time I didn't have much interest in that. But today, I admire people who have skills with a camera and I wish that I had taken advantage of that opportunity to master great photos and how a camera works. Both baking and photography are wonderful ways to make an income and a lot of people do these things in addition to their regular jobs. Learning a profitable skill that you love is great advice for any student from the elementary years and up through high school. That skill could end up being your life's work.
Make good use of your time
I pretty much slept my summers away as a kid. I recall waking up in the early afternoon and feeling groggy from too much sleep. What a waste! I could have found a summer job or used that time to learn something new like gardening, or I could have made it a goal to get through some books over the summer.
Year after year, I wasted valuable time during the best years of my life when it comes to being able to focus and have energy. If I hadn't been such a time waster, I could have afforded a car of my own instead of relying on other people to get home from band practice and other after-school activities. Then I could have gotten involved in more fun stuff like the class play or the class trips the senior girls planned, which I mostly missed out on.
Being energetic and wanting to work hard has a big payoff. Back then I had energy that I don't have now, so I regret the time I wasted and the difference it would have made in my life. Making good use of your time has so many benefits. This one lesson would have changed my entire high school experience. But I did learn something since then and I'm not a time waster now. I want to be productive, not just for myself, but for the one who created me. I don't want to get to Heaven and be asked why I didn't make better use of my time.
I know that only a few people will read this. And although I'm not getting paid to write it, I am making good use of my time. I think people are much too focused on whether or not a person gets paid well for their work. What about the rewards in our next life? The Bible has advice about storing up your treasures in Heaven. That's what I'm doing right now. I'm using my time to help people in as many ways as I can.
Compared to my time-wasting younger years, today I wake up and ask God each day how he wants me to use my time. Today he led me to my laptop where I finished this article. Tomorrow he might lead me to be a helping hand for someone who's tired, sick or hurting. I've learned that my time is not my own. I didn't realize that when I was younger.
Yes, if I could go back to high school knowing what I know now, it would have been a completely different experience. But life is about making mistakes and learning to do better. What I learned since high school mostly has to do with me becoming less and God and others becoming more. The great commission in life is for us to love God with all our hearts and minds and to love others as we love ourselves. In high school we are focused on ourselves because we usually don't have the spiritual maturity to consider others.
I'm hoping my class reunion will be a good experience. It's been twelve years since we got together and I was surprised that someone picked up planning it again. I thought it was pretty much over. I'm believing that it will be a good experience, because I know I'm not the only one who has learned a lot since high school.
