A LITTLE RESPECT WHEN YOU GET HOME

If there's one place where we deserve a pleasant greeting, it's at home.  My husband hates walking in the door and being bombarded with requests.  Both my daughter and I have learned not to approach him when he first gets home from work.  We let him alone to unwind, because home should be a place of retreat, not demands the minute you walk in the door.

Today, however the roles were reversed.  I had spent most of my day cleaning and organizing a room and a closet and then I had to pick up my daughter from an after-school activity.  When I walked in the door, my husband was already home from work, and the first thing he said was, "Where's my dinner?" He did to me exactly what he hates when walking in the door.  Not even a hello.  Not a smile.  Not a pleasant tone of voice...nothing but a demand.

What woman would react well to that?  Needless to say I didn't either.  The thing about demanding is that it makes someone  feel like a slave, as if all that person is good for is fulfilling the needs of the master.  It makes a person feel lower than pond scum, and it's hardly the way a husband should treat his wife.  That comment put me in a mood and anything he said after that wasn't going to be met with a kind response.  I'm well aware of all the "turn the other cheek" scripture in the bible, but when I'm treated like pond scum I have a hard time making nice.

I often wonder how couples with no knowledge of God's word can possibly get along.  If couples like us, knowing how God expects us to treat one another, can have moments like this... is there hope for any marriage?  We all expect our spouse to meet our needs.  I have needs too.  And like my husband's empty stomach, my needs can also go unmet.  But I can imagine the reaction I would get if I demanded a hug as soon as he got home.  If I demanded a compliment or any kind of favor from him.  He would pull away exactly as I did when he demanded dinner.  Demanding anything is not how God expects us to relate to one another.  Demands cannot coexist with love.  In fact nothing kills that loving feeling faster than constant demands.

I was very demanding when I was younger.  My demands never got me what I wanted.  All demanding did was push people away and make them dislike me.  I've since learned to express disappointment differently.  Now I'm more likely to write a heartfelt letter when someone hurts me.  But being at the other end of someone's demands still gets to me.  I have a hard time controlling my emotions when someone rudely snaps at me in a demanding tone.

The difference between a demand and a request is the way it's presented.  If my husband had asked, "Did you have time to cook today?" he would have received a more loving response than the one I gave him...something about Ethiopia and appreciating leftovers.  God wants us to do things for one another out of love, not a sense of duty.  Most days I have time to cook and I do it out of love.  When he acts as though I owe him a meal every night, then it becomes a duty not an act of love. Where's the joy in slave cooking?

The point I'm trying to make is that we all have expectations.  And when those expectations go unmet, we have two choices:  We can demand a change or we can ask for one.  Demanding shows no respect.  Treat others as you want to be treated.  If you want a little respect when you come home, then be willing to give a little too.

If I didn't admit my own faults many times in this blog, I would hesitate to publish this.  It doesn't put my hubby in a very good light.  But it's a classic example of how we get off track and mistreat the ones we're supposed to love most.  Following Jesus isn't about being perfect, and I'm not afraid to admit my life is far from perfect.  But if we keep trying to adjust to that narrow path, that's the best we can do.  We are all flawed, we all make mistakes, and we all fall short of the glory of God.

WHAT'S RIGHT WITH THE WORLD?

This past weekend I went kayaking on the Susquehanna River with five of my favorite friends.  The weather was perfect for such an outing as it wasn't too hot and the river was low and calm.  While four gals waited on shore for their turn, a friend and I paddled our boats and chatted about all kinds of things.  She brought up an interesting question that probably most of us have thought about.  She said, "I often wonder how people see me."  She was wondering what words people would use to describe her and if she had any qualities that others might be turned off by.

I told her that we all wonder how we're perceived by others.  And most likely, we all have qualities that can be annoying to others.  With so many different personalities around us, how can we possibly find favor with everyone all the time?  I'm probably perceived as an extremist to some.  When something makes me mad, I write about it or share a  video on the subject.  My readers probably say, "Let's check out Danelle's blog and see what intense news she has for us today."

The last video I shared on facebook was about genetically modified food.  I think it's deceiving that 85% of all processed and packaged food is genetically modified and yet there is no labeling to let us know that.  I think it's a crime that this experimental food is unknowingly sold to us and has been since 1996.   With so many people complaining about stomach and intestinal problems, perhaps we are now seeing the result of eating this garbage for fourteen years.

Before I go off on another rant about the things that make me mad, I want to lighten it up today and talk about the things that make me happy.  What's right with the world?  It's time to talk about that.  Getting back to kayaking, one thing that makes me happy is enjoying the company of good friends and the beauty of God's creation. I love the outdoors.  I love the smell of fresh cut grass, logs burning on an open fire, and the earthy scent of a cool Autumn day.

One thing that's right with the world is our freedom to enjoy family, friends, and nature.  I can't imagine what life would be like without my husband, my kids, my mom, my sister, and two brothers.  It's good to know I have family.  I love to fill my house with people I care for.  How lonely it would be to celebrate holidays without them.  Every home is just waiting to be filled with laughter, love, and good conversation  And in those moments when everyone I love is around me, chatting, laughing, and enjoying each other, I'm my most content.  This is what life's about and there's nothing better.

The only thing that makes it better is a beautiful atmosphere.  Can you remember a time when nature took your breath away?  Can you remember being in a place that was so vividly spectacular you could barely take it in without feeling that you might burst from the awesomeness of it? I feel this way when I stand next to the ocean, or when I look across a glassy lake surrounded by deep green pines, silhouetted against the clearest blue sky. Nature is a stirring vision that has the power to fill us with breathless awe.  Our world is filled with such amazing sights, so many I have yet to see.  Just knowing that these sights are out there waiting for me is one more reason to wake up tomorrow.  Despite the problems we face, the earth's beauty is all around us, reminding us of the higher power that created it.

Which leads me to the next thing that's right with the world.  God is still in control.  Although I'm passionate about exposing error and speaking out against injustice, I know that all the things happening today are part of God's prophetic plan. My feathers get ruffled, but I still have peace.  Living peacefully among the chaos is exactly how God wants us to live.  He didn't design us for the kind of stress people feel every day.  Without a closeness to God, we don't handle that stress well and our lives will show it.  God is the greatest thing that's right with this world.  He's the only source of real peace.  You can try to replace God with other things, but you'll always feel empty when you lie waiting for sleep at days end.

God is in His heaven.  All is right with the world.

SECURITY IN AN UNCERTAIN WORLD

Read today's headlines and you can become overwhelmed, even panicked at how our world is changing so quickly.  Perhaps the biggest change is America's financial outlook. Our national debt is rapidly approaching the 14 trillion dollar mark.  Many of our state and local governments may be in worse shape than the federal government.  Consumer debt now stands at about 12 trillion dollars.  The U.S. trade deficit has exploded as billions more dollars flow out of the country each month compared to what flows in.  We also have a job deficit  It takes over eight months for the average unemployed American to find a job, and long term unemployment benefits for Americans have risen over 60 percent in the past year.

The credit crunch, the housing crisis, rising bankruptcies, rising poverty, and the coming pension crisis have also contributed to the state of financial panic that many Americans find themselves in today.  We are headed towards an economic meltdown and big names such as Tony Robbins are coming forward with warnings about how to handle our money in today's precarious economy.  Robbins is warning people not to plant seeds in winter.  He's suggesting that we be very careful with our money right now because many of the returns we once saw on our financial investments are no longer available.  Our seeds will not sprout in today's bitter cold economy.

One example of a seed that won't sprout right now is home buying as a means to build wealth.  "People shouldn't look at a home as a way to make money because it won't," says Dean Baker, co-director of the Center for Economic and Policy Research.  Many real estate experts now believe that home ownership will never again yield the rewards like those enjoyed in the second half of the 20th century. Sales of previously owned US homes have dropped to their lowest pace in 15 years (down 27%).  Many potential buyers worry that they might not have a job to pay the mortgage.  And many people can't qualify for loans because banks have tightened their lending standards.

The US building industry has collapsed and home buying is at record lows.  Even with especially low mortgage rates, few Americans are buying homes.  It seems that more Americans are losing their homes than those buying homes.  Mortgage defaults, foreclosures, and home repossessions by banks are skyrocketing.  More banks are selling homes than are realtors.  The financial future of America and the economic prosperity of its citizens  is on shaky ground.  And as tensions in the Middle East continue to rise, no one feels secure.  An all out war in the Middle East would collapse the world economy and paralyze the financial markets as the price of oil would rise to heights we haven't yet seen.

How can we feel secure when we're surrounded by so much insecurity?  Some people tell us to buy gold.  Others suggest stocking food in the basement or investing in survival items that we can use to barter with neighbors.  The value of our money is falling rapidly.  The Federal Reserve has devalued the US dollar by over 95 percent since 1913 and it continues to print money with nothing to back it, making the dollar worth less and less.  People are trying to replace their lost retirements by seeking other ways to generate income.  The problem is they are buying into worldly providence when they should be seeking divine providence.

Divine providence comes only from God.  In His word God tells us how we can remain close to Him and receive His protection and blessings in the difficult days ahead.  Instead of knocking ourselves out trying to build worldly wealth, we should be trusting God for our security.  The bible tells us how we should behave and think.  It tells us what behavior will bless us and what will curse us.  If we want God's blessings and if we want Him to provide for our needs, we need to put Him first and obey His instruction.

How many of us are putting God first?  How many of us are obeying His word?  Even every-Sunday-church- going Christians are more caught up in worldly security than godly security.  They spend more time seeking worldy wealth than they do seeking the wealth of  wisdom and guidance in God's word.  In 1 Timothy 6: 17 we are told not to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God who gives us richly all things to enjoy.  The key to survival in difficult times is not to build worldly wealth but to trust and abide in Christ.

TRUST AND ABIDE IN CHRIST
Abiding in Christ means being obedient to Him with unconditional, pure, complete faith, trust and love.  In 1 John 3: 24 we are told that he who keeps God's commandments abides in God.  God also abides in him through the Holy Spirit.  We all learned the ten commandments in Sunday school.  These are the basic rules for living that God gave us.  Are we obediently following those commandments?  And are we studying God's word and learning other ways to be obedient?

One other way to be obedient is found in Psalm 41:1 "Blessed is he who considers the poor; The Lord will deliver him in time of trouble."  By giving to the poor, we are obeying God's word and we will be blessed for it.  God's word also tells us to care for orphans and widows.  Another way to be obedient is by tithing, giving the first 10 percent of your income to God.  Donate to your church, give to charitable organizations that help the poor, or give to any organization that is working to uphold God's laws (Pro Life pregnancy centers, the ACLJ, etc.)  God promises in Malachi 3:10 that those who tithe will receive such a blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it.  God says, "try me now in this."  Start tithing and let God prove himself.  He has proved himself to our family.  Since we started tithing, we have been blessed with good health, employment promotions and unexpected financial blessings.


If we aren't abiding in Christ then we miss out on God's guidance, protection, and provisions.  "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" 

Some people think that God owes them something, but they don't owe God anything.  This is not how it works.  If we aren't seeking God, He lets us alone to deal with life without Him.  We miss out on divine guidance and divine provisions for our every need.  We miss out on God's amazing blessings. Every promise in the book of Psalms is addressed to those who seek God and obey His commandments (notice the bold phrases below).  Psalm 91 gives us a wonderful explanation of the security that God promises to those who trust in the Lord:
"He who dwells in the secret shelter of the most high will abide under the shadow of the almighty.  I will say to the Lord, my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust! For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence... His faithfulness is a shield and a bullwark (wall of protection)...For He will give His angels charge over you to guard you in all your ways.  Because he has loved me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high because he has known my name."  If you're not abiding in Christ by praying, studying God's word, and praising Him, then you shouldn't expect Him to provide for you.  God doesn't come into your life without an invitation.  When we abide in Him, He faithfully cares for us.

DEVELOP A LIFE OF PRAISE, PRAYER, AND WORSHIP

We are commanded to continually offer praise to God (Hebrews 13:15).  Praise drives the power of darkness away and brings the throne of God into your circumstances.  Psalm 145 is a great praise psalm.  Give thanks in all situations.  Complaining shows that you doubt God's love and his answer to your needs.  Be careful what you say.  You can literally change the spiritual atmosphere by the words you speak.  God's word is annointed.  Speaking God's word brings you into a place where the Lord will move to fulfill what you are asking.

For every problem we could possibly face, there is a fitting promise in God's word.  For example, when I can't sleep, I say out loud every scripture I can think of that would move God to let me sleep:  "Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." That is God's promise in Matthew.  If I say out loud what God has promised me, I set in motion the fulfillment of His promise.  Prayer is so powerful.  We don't tap into that power often enough.

We can pray anywhere.  We don't have to be on our knees.  We can pray while driving, while washing dishes, etc.  We should pray relentlessly for unsaved family members, for our government leaders, for our schools and our churches.  Our churches need to wake up and stop denying the power of God through the Holy Spirit.  Our churches need to open their eyes and realize the time and the season in which we live.  No one knows the exact time that the Lord is coming to remove His followers, but according to 2 Timothy 3: 1 we should know the season when this event is near, and our churches should be preparing people for Christ's return.  Every single item on God's list that describes the last days is true of today.  The last days are upon us but who even sees it?  Who's really prepared?  Overall, our churches are doing an inadequate job of preparing people for the perilous times we live in and the promise of Christ's return. 

We should pray for our nation and that its people would turn from their wicked ways. We should pray for the peace of Jerusalem and God's blessings on Israel.  We should pray that all of Israel's enemies be overthrown.  God promises to bless those who bless Israel.  My husband sends money to the Joshua fund, a charitable organization that works to bless Israel according to Genesis 12: 1-3.  We also pray for Israel.  When you pray or donate for Israel, you will be blessed in amazing and unexpected ways.  We have seen these blessings in our lives since blessing Israel.  God is true to His word.  Praise, prayer and worship will literally change your life.  If you have doubts, try it and God will prove Himself to you.  You will receive strength, blessings, and divine providence when you develop a life of praise, prayer and worship.

Seeking worldly security is not the answer to these troubled times.  The world is an insecure place.  But God is always a secure place to fall.  He wants to be the one we turn to when life gets scary and we fear the future. Don't plant seeds in winter, unless they're seeds of faith.  Don't trust in uncertain riches but in the living God who gives us richly all things to enjoy.

LOVING THE WORLD MORE THAN GOD

Some people are never satisfied.  No matter how much you do for them, they're always waiting with a list of more things they want.  I have a saying in my home: "Push for more, get nothing."  If there's one thing that gets my blood boiling it's people who can't be happy with what they're given.  They're always pushing for more and forever complaining about what they don't have.  It's like giving a gift and then having the recipient look at you and say, "But where's that other thing that goes with it?"  They can't focus on the gift itself.  All they see is the item that wasn't included.

People are too caught up in the world.  That's the problem.  We crave all the latest toys: laptops, i-pods, MP3's, cell phones, DVD players, video games.  Every month brings a new must-have obsession.  We take our kids school shopping and think we're finished buying clothes for a while.  Then when all the girls at school start wearing a certain style shirt, we have to run back to the mall and get more clothes.  Its ridiculous!  Why so much pressure to dress a certain way?  I wore the clothes I was given and never complained.  Today's young girls behave as if they'll die without stylish clothes.  Why do we need all this stuff?!  Why can't we just be happy with what we have?  Mothers are tired of running everywhere to please kids who have a bad case of  I-need-itis.

I think God is also tired of the way we put so much energy into having things and little or no energy into having a relationship with Him.  Maybe that's what this bad economy is all about.  Maybe we all deserve to be dirt poor so we get our priorities straight for once.  The day is quickly coming when all the things we think we need so much are going to turn to dust.  All we'll have left is our relationships.  And then we can sit and regret what little effort we put into those relationships.  Husbands and wives who put more effort into their jobs than their marriages will wish for a do-over.  They'll wish they hadn't ignored their spouses pleads for more time, more attention and more affection.  They'll wish they had paid more attention to their kids.

I think God is also crying for our attention right now.  But we don't hear Him.  We're too busy running around for all the latest and greatest toys and gadgets.  We're too busy fussing about the things other people have that we don't have.  We're too into ourselves and how we look to others.  We're too in love with this world to give God the time of day. Life isn't about things, it's about people.  That's what we should be investing in.  Relationships are the only things we'll take with us from earth to Heaven.  The fancy car in the garage isn't going.  The new dress isn't going.  The laptop won't be there either.  We need to get our priorIites straight.  Because if we don't, God will do it for us.

BAD ATTITUDES AND POOR EXCUSES

I don't know about you, but I've noticed a great change in people's attitudes in the past thirty years. When I graduated from high school in 1980, America was still a great place to live and raise children. Today I want to shield my daughter from society because people have become careless, selfish, and disrespectful. People are now doing the opposite of what they should be doing and they're proud of it. The values that made America great are dissolving. People have developed bad attitudes and they offer silly excuses for their obnoxious behavior.

Bad attitude # 1
I'm here to be served.
In today's culture, we measure greatness by our position in society, and the position of servant is not given high esteem. Think about how waitresses are looked down on by the general public. "She's just a waitress." I'm sure you've heard that one. What about a housekeeper? Does she get any respect? "All she does is clean. She can't be very bright." The people we look up to aren't in service positions. We admire those who have people serving them. No one admires the servers. If we want to be somebody in this twisted world, our goal is to be served.

This attitude is the exact opposite of what Jesus teaches. He tells us that if we want to be somebody, then we need to develop a servant's heart. "Whoever desires to be great among you shall be your servant." Mark 10:43 Jesus measured greatness in terms of service. Your income, your title, and your material posessions, mean nothing to God. He didn't design us to climb the ladder of success and show off our status. God designed us for service, not self-centeredness. Our unwillingness to serve and our desire to be served has made us a nation of self-seekers who feel entitled to have whatever we want without regard for how it affects others. That kind of attitude doesn't contribute to society, it destroys it.

Bad attitude # 2
It's not my fault. When I was a kid, if someone fell on an icy sidewalk he took his lumps and hobbled home. If someone spilled hot coffee in her lap and got burned, she blamed herself for being careless. Today you can actually make money from such mishaps. People no longer take responsibility for their actions. And attorneys are all too happy to convince us that it's not our fault and we deserve compensation. We're actually encouraged to blame others for our own stupidity. Carelessness is rewarded and personal responsibility is excused. The goal has become, "Let's see who we can blame for this and how much we can get out of them."

This attitude is not what the bible teaches. "...put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another and forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you so you also must do." Colossians 3:12-13. The bible teaches forgiveness not revenge. Blaming others for our hurts is not forgiveness. The entire book of Proverbs teaches how we are responsible for ourselves and others. If everyone lived according to the proverbs, we'd have Heaven on earth. But when people stop taking responsibility for their actions, they put a great burden on others. Our society is stressed to the max by people who blame others for their problems and then expect compensation.

Bad attitude #3
Let someone else do it. We can be grateful that Jesus didn't take this attitude. He wasn't lazy. He wasn't a coward. He got the job done. Few people have that kind of resolve today. We look for ways to get out of any kind of work or discomfort. We want others to take care of us and we feel entitled to that care. We want good leaders to run our country but we don't bother to register and vote. If you aren't a registered voter and you don't vote, then you are part of the problem. And if you have children, shame on you. Basically you are saying that you don't care enough about your childrens' future to endure the hassle of voting. How sad.

The book of Proverbs has a lot of advice for those who want to sit on their hands while others toil. "The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting. But diligence is man's precious possession." Proverbs 12:27 We can't enjoy the fruits of our labor unless we get off our duffs and do something. Perhaps if all the Christians who didn't vote would have voted, our last election would have had a different outcome. When you let someone else do it, you have to live with the result of your laziness, whether it means going hungry or watching your government leaders sink America. We need diligent men and women who don't look around when something needs to be done. The diligent doers are the backbone of any society.

Bad attitude #4
It's none of my business. People don't want to get involved in the lives of others. What other people do is none of their business, so they remain silent and do nothing when they witness an error or an injustice. This attitude is not what the Bible teaches. According to God's word, we all have a responsibility to one another. (Gal. 6:1-3) In other words, we are to encourage and help people to get back on track when they fall into sin. And if we ourselves are headed down the wrong path, then people we know should speak up and warn us.

Here's an example of what can happen when we take on the attitude "It's none of my business" and we fail to guide or warn someone: A woman was married for a short time when her husband informed her that he was a homosexual. He immediately left her to be with his lover. After her divorce, several of her friends came to her and said they knew he was gay. They knew it before she married him. When she asked why they didn't warn her, they said, "We didn't think it was any of our business."

We are responsible for other people's business, but not in a gossipy way. We are responsible for revealing the truth. We are responsible for exposing sin. And we are responsible for helping others bear the burdens of sin. We should help them to recover and to get back on track. A society of people who don't look out for each other is a society without strength. Part of what makes us human is our caring for one another. Otherwise, we may as well live alone in caves like animals.

Bad attitude #5
It's all about me. This sentence could serve as the motto for today's world. We're so wrapped up in our own lives that we don't even notice the needs of others. As long as our own needs are met, we don't consider anyone else. A recent example of the "all about me" attitude showed itself during a summer vacation at the beach. We were trying to get some sleep in our hotel room while a group of young people played loud music, talked loudly, laughed heartily, slammed doors and walked back and forth outside our room. When we finally asked them kindly to be quiet, they offered up the excuse that they had locked themselves out of one of their rooms... as if that excused their complete disregard for those who might be trying to sleep. (Another example of the It's not my fault generation).

The bible teaches that our lives should be marked by a love for God and a love and concern for others. We are not to be obsessed with ourselves. We are not to be self-centered. "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." Phillipians 2:3-4 If everyone lived that way, would we have any of the problems we face?

A society is only as good as the character of its people. When our character deteriorates, the problems in society worsen. Our world today is corrupt because we have turned away from the word of God. Every problem in society is a direct result of ignoring God's word. The more we push God out of our lives the worse it will get. I see a difference in just thirty years time. Talk to someone older and they will tell you the same and give even better examples.

There was a time when the bible was taught in every classroom and prayer was welcomed everywhere. Do you really think it's a coincidence that the crime rate was also much lower, people felt safer, lawsuits were fewer, our government leaders had more integrity, people displayed a greater respect for each other at home, at work, while driving, and overall life was less stressful and people were kinder and happier. If you can't see the difference in America since God and prayer was pushed out of it, then you don't want to see it, and you might be one of those people with a bad attitude and a pile of poor excuses.

NO REASON TO CELEBRATE: AMERICA'S MOVE TOWARD SOCIALISM

By Danelle Carvell

                                                      

This past Fourth of July, I felt no reason to celebrate. Why celebrate Independence Day when our country is quickly moving toward socialism? The government controls all means of production and distribution in a socialist society. It can control our health care, insurance companies and food distribution. Currently the government holds various ownership stakes in over 500 private companies and several major banks. In a socialist society, the government can take anything it wants, including our freedoms.

Our religious freedom is already being squashed. Last year a pastor was questioned by San Diego County officials and threatened with fines over a bible study held in his home in Bonita, California. This year World Net Daily reported that police officers arrested four Christian missionaries as they exercised their right to free speech at an Arab Festival in Dearborn, Michigan. The officers were apparently enforcing Islamic Law. A court in Wisconsin recently ruled in favor of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, a group that's trying to eliminate the National Day of Prayer. Eliminating Christianity altogether can't be far behind, especially when our president has already declared that "we are no longer a Christian nation."

Our freedom of speech is also in question. Both the Hate Crimes Bill and the Homeland Security Bill contain ideas that could end our right to speak freely. Pro-Life supporters have already been labeled as "extremists." And with the Hate Crimes Act, Christians are one step closer to being arrested for saying, "Jesus is the only way." The latest attempt to squash our freedom of speech came on June 25, when the cyber-security bill was approved by the Homeland Security Committee. It will give the president authority over the Internet. That bill will soon head to the Senate for a vote.

Why would Obama want to control the internet? Because that is where the truth is being told. You don't get the whole truth on most televised news because the managers of those broadcasts allow only news that fits their own world views.  Soon our president may be free to shut down any part of the Internet he chooses. And thanks to President Bush and his martial law legislation, Obama can also take total control of the government and country. He can have total dictatorial power. All he needs is one good catastrophic event to declare martial law. In C-SPAN videos posted on You Tube, California Representative Brad Sherman states that in private conversations, members of Congress were told there would be martial law in America if they refused to pass the bailout bill. Martial Law is a euphemism for military dictatorship and apparently it has already been threatened upon our citizens.

Does this sound like the America you know and love? The United States now fits the description of a police state, where the leader has his own treasury and his own army on the streets. (Check out America Is A Police State at World Net Daily). The bailout bill gave the president 100 billion dollars in discretionary spending, without oversight, and for the first time in 100 years an active duty military unit, NorthCom, is permanently assigned inside the US. (Check out Salon Radio: ACLU on the US Army's domestic deployment by Glenn Greenwald) This unit may be called upon to help with civil unrest and crowd control, using weapons like tasers and rubber bullets. Our military can now be deployed against our own citizens.

Our national debt has reached over 13 trillion dollars (Check out www.usdebtclock.org). We are no longer a producer nation. We buy more from other countries than we produce. There's no way our children will enjoy the lifestyle that we've had because a large part of their incomes will be taken from them in taxes. Just finding a job could be their greatest challenge. In March 2009, The Center For Economic and Policy Research suggested that the unemployment rate is the highest recorded since the Great Depression.

All this doesn't sound like reasons to celebrate. It sounds more like reasons to fall on our knees and pray.

WHY WE CAN'T LIVE SIMPLY ANYMORE

http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/feminism-related-issues/young-moms-work-for-free/

 By Danelle Carvell
 I often say that I was born in the wrong era. The 1940's and 50's seemed a simpler more pleasant time to be alive. I was born in the sixties, so I didn't get to experience those decades, but I do love to watch TV shows and movies that portray that time in history. Even the 1930's, a decade associated with The Great Depression, seems a time that I would enjoy more than the rushed and complicated lifestyle of 2010.

The older I get, the more I want to embrace simplicity. I find myself throwing things out and ridding myself of clutter. I'm more satisfied with a simple wardrobe, simple furniture, and simple ways of decorating my home. I'm learning that if I keep those things simple, I'll have more time for the people in my life. Maybe the reason those early decades seem so appealing is because people who lived in the 40's and 50's had fewer distractions that kept them from focusing on what's important--God and family.

Ask someone what the most important part of life is and you'll probably get answers like God, family, friends, etc. But the same people who give those answers often live lives that don't reflect their values. If they really loved God and family, wouldn't they create a lifestyle that allowed time for those things? Wouldn't they set selfishness and materialism aside and choose a simple way of life that gives them everything they need without unnecessary stress and financial pressure?

We seem to have lost our ability to live simply. Even newlyweds aren't satisfied with a simple home anymore. They choose opulent homes that require two incomes to maintain. Then when the children come, Mom is forced to look for replacement care for her children. She must go to work to help pay for the big house. Perhaps if she and her husband had chosen a simpler way of life, she could stay at home and be a mom instead of a breadwinner. Materialism pushes God and family from our lives.

In a post feminist era, my opinion isn't always popular. Yet I know examples of women who wouldn't have to work yet they choose a career over caring for their children. They try being home with baby for a while and then decide that it's not for them. They can't handle the mundane tasks and the unglamorous role of being stuck at home with their own children. Selfishness pushes God and family from our lives.

Materialism and selfishness are two distractions that weren't so prevalent among women in the early decades of the 1900's. Those women were more satisfied with simple things--a simple home, a simple lifestyle, and simply being a mom. Then along came the feminist movement to convince women that they deserve more than a mundane life of motherhood. Feminists convinced women to forget what's at home and make a mark on the world. They told us we need to control our environment and control our marketability so we can be independent. The feminist movement led women out of their homes, away from their children and into the workplace. Feminism pushes God and family from our lives.

I'm not saying that no woman should work outside the home. I'm saying that the highest calling for a wife is to be a helpmate to her husband, and the highest calling for a mother is to care for her children. I know there are innocent examples of women who have no choice but to leave their children in day care so they can go to work and make money. But there are also examples of young mothers who work due to their own selfishness, materialism and feminist beliefs. They're not satisfied with a simple life of marriage and motherhood even when their husbands encourage them to stay home.

Today, women feel a tremendous amount of pressure to justify being at home for their families. "How can you afford to stay at home and not work?" is a question people boldly ask.  But no woman has to justify filling the role God created her to fill as a wife or mother.  She doesn't have to justify that to anyone, not even in a bad economy.  If a husband or family chooses for a wife or mother to be at home instead of the workplace, and if they're not living above the financial means of one income, then I believe God will bless that decision.  They don't need society's blessings.

Husbands might be surprised at how little money their working wives are actually making when they have children in daycare.  The link at the top of this page tells a story about the frustrations of young working mothers.  Be sure to check it out and read the comments underneath.   It's a story that many women are living out each day.  In the book 1/2 Price Living, one couple named Suzie and Ben discovered that by working full time with one child in daycare, Suzie was only making seventeen dollars a month.

"The main culprit for the financial failure of a second income is a tax system that savagely penalizes second incomes," the book claims.  A higher tax bracket, the cost of gas and wear and tear on her vehicle, the cost of daycare, buying lunch at work, spending more on a professional appearance (wardrobe, manicures, hairstyles), spending money on convenience food because she has no time to cook, spending money on guilt gifts because she can't give her children enough time, and just spending money unnecessarily because she has extra money.

All the above things must be subtracted from her income to discover her true income.  Some working moms who think they're making 15 dollars an hour are actually making less than five dollars an hour.  They don't realize that they could stay home and save that much from their husband's income and be no worse off.  I save eighty to one hundred dollars a week just by clipping coupons and searching for bargains.  That's like earning eighty dollars a week.  I also find other ways to make and save money at home and I see no difference in our standard of living compared to when I was working full time outside the home.   It's a simple answer, but who sits down and does the math? 

I guess we can't do anything simply. We can't even simply drive. We have to be chatting on a cell phone or texting while driving. I truly can't believe that talking on a phone while driving is even legal. The task takes one hand off the wheel and your mind off the road. I wonder how many lives have been cut short all because someone couldn't wait to make or receive a phone call. Driving is serious business. One wrong move could kill someone. And all it takes is a second to make that wrong move. Is a phone conversation worth the risk of killing someone or being killed?

If we want to simplify our lives, we need to get rid of the distractions that are cluttering our lives. Technology is good, but not when it's so much a part of our lives that we can't focus on daily tasks or give people our full attention. Selfishness, materialism, feminism, and technology are just some of the clutter we've allowed to overtake us. We need to get back to the basics of life: caring for our children, respecting and loving our husbands, and most importantly seeking God for strength. Women have lost their identity in a self-absorbed, materialistic culture polluted with feminist ideas. I don't like the culture I live in, but I don't have to conform to it. I choose to live a life of simplicity:God first, family second, my own self-interests a distant third. That's the life we were meant to live as wives and mothers. And only we can reclaim it.

THE JOY OF MELLOWING WITH AGE

One of the greatest things about getting older is being able to laugh more. When I was younger, I took life way too seriously. I was more likely to cry about something than to laugh about it. I had a hard time seeing the funny side of things because I was so focused on a perfect life. If something went wrong, I couldn't laugh about it because failure just wasn't funny to me. I was too insecure to laugh at failure. Disappointment always upset me and I probably wasn't much fun to be around. Thank God that time has a way of mellowing people.

Today, I welcome life's mishaps. If something goes wrong and it gives me a good laugh, I'm grateful for it. Yesterday, my daughter and I were walking into Wal-Mart when I felt a discomfort at the hem of my capris. I reached under my pant leg at mid-calf to investigate and pulled out a piece of blue material. Upon realizing what it was, I yanked quickly at it and swooped it into my handbag. I had wore the same pants the day before with a pair of blue underwear. My daughter couldn't believe what just happened. She insisted that an elderly couple had seen me pull my underwear out of my pant leg and were now sitting speechless on a bench. "I probably made their day," I said, feeling no embarrassment.

That's another great thing about getting older. You just don't care about looking foolish. I embarrassed my daughter more than once at the Wal-Mart. She loves to tell the story about how I ran my cart into a pole after leaving the check out. I was pushing my cart full of groceries toward the exit when I spotted some eyeglass cases to my left. I'd been wanting a good case for my new glasses. All of a sudden, Bam! My cart hit a pole and to make matters worse, I let out a vocal reaction that got everyone's attention. All eyes were on us. I calmly got my cart under control and continued toward the door. But Delaina was anything but calm. "Who cares what those people think," I said. "We'll never see them again." She doesn't understand my lack of concern for watching eyes, but someday she will.

When you've experienced enough of life, you reach a point where you realize that some things just aren't worth getting shook about. The energy it takes to be embarrassed or upset is more than I'm willing to invest. Of course some things are worthy of fussing over, but for me, the list is much smaller than it once was. For example, when I order a sandwich with "no" mayo, it always comes to the table "with" mayo. There was a time when I would have sent it back, but now I decide ahead of time that I will scrape the mayo off my sandwich. Though I am considering telling the waitress I have a severe allergic reaction to mayo that isn't pretty...just to see if it makes a difference.

I remember my waitressing days and the things people fussed about when it came to food. It's understandable that you want to have a pleasant experience when you go out to eat, but food isn't more important than people. I've seen customers verbally abuse waitresses over food and make themselves look incredibly selfish in the process. But the most memorable group of people I've ever served were not selfish at all. They were quite joyful. There was more laughter coming from their table than from all the other tables combined. It was clear to me that they were out together to enjoy each other's company. Food wasn't the most important part of the evening. And before they left, they showed their appreciation by asking me to stand by the table as they all leaned to one side and then the other. They tipped for me, and it was the best tip I ever got.

I think one of the keys to enjoying life is having your priorities straight (people over things) and being able to roll with the punches. Those who are able to laugh in the face of disappointment get more joy out of life. Like that group of diners I waited on twenty years ago, people are smart to spend their time savoring relationships. While the uptight people waste time fretting and fuming about things that could easily be forgiven or overlooked. I wish I wouldn't have wasted so much of my life being uptight. But I'm grateful that the passing years have given me a new perspective.

One of the greatest tests to a woman's character is her wedding day. When the plates aren't the right shade of white or the ribbons on the bouquets don't match, how will the bride react to the disappointment of a less than perfect wedding? Will she roll with the punches or turn into a bridezilla and ruin everyone's good time? Hopefully she'll take a deep breath and realize that the day isn't about plates and ribbons, it's about people.

I wouldn't have passed the character test on the day of my first wedding. I remember getting mad at my sister when she kept suggesting that I eat something. I had skipped breakfast and lunch and she was concerned about me. "No one is going to tell me what to do on my wedding day!" I quipped. I had the same sassy attitude toward my husband at the reception when it seemed that he was dancing with everyone but me. I even got mad at my guests for taking the table centerpieces home with them. Talk about a bridezilla! They didn't have a name for brides like me back then, except maybe another word that starts with B.

Wouldn't it be fun to venture back into those situations with a new mellowed attitude? Oh how I could have enjoyed that day and given my sister a hug instead of a harping, been happy for my husband as he enjoyed dancing with our guests, and I would have invited people to take home the centerpieces instead of grumbling about a few missing vases.

By the time my second marriage rolled around, I had mellowed and matured a bit. There was no fussing about details. I didn't need a big bridal party or a dress with poofy sleeves. I actually bought my dress at Value City for next to nothing. My husband wore jeans and cowboy boots and that was fine with me. There was no dancing and no centerpieces for me to get shook about. They even mispelled my name on the wedding cake and I managed to laugh about it.

I think it takes a certain level of maturity to really enjoy life. And that maturity seems to come with age. I've met some mellow young folks, but most easy-going people I know have been around the block a few times. I think we just grow tired of being so affected by life's disappointments. We become more tolerant of embarrassment and let downs because it takes so much darn energy to fret and fume. Like expecting mayo on my sandwich, we learn to expect disappointment, and we learn to laugh at life instead of becoming embarrassed or angered by it. When we finally reach the point where there's nothing left to do but laugh, we invite joy into our lives. It's the joy that all of us are looking for. But we have to mellow a bit before we find it.

SMALL TOWN SUMMERS MAKE THE BEST MEMORIES

I wait all year for summer. Fall is nice, but I don't get along with winter. I need warmth and sunshine to be happy. Although summer doesn't officially begin until June 21, this week marks the beginning of summer for me. It's not summer until I bite into a fresh strawberry, and I did that on Friday after scanning the Crossroads Auction for the very best pick.

If I'm paying almost four dollars a box, I want the sweetest, juiciest gems available. Relying only on visual appeal, I carefully chose two boxes. After washing, cutting and sprinkling with sugar, I let the strawberries rest in the refrigerator for a few hours (which almost killed me). But that's the only way to get that sweet red nectar that soaks into the shortcake and makes it extra delicious.

Strawberry shortcake is one of the many joys of summer. After devouring a bigger serving than I needed, we headed to City Island to take in a Senator's game. When you're sitting in a stadium hearing the crack of aluminum hitting leather, you know it's officially summer. I'm not a big baseball fan. I was actually there to hear my daughter and her fellow Halifax chorus members sing the national anthem. But I understand why people love the game.

I was sixteen and on my first date when I first experienced a Phillies game. For a girl who grew up in a small town that she rarely got out of, a bus trip to Philadelphia was a big deal. But I have to say the Senator's game was more entertaining than the Phillies game was in the seventies. My heart wasn't racing with the thrill of my first boyfriend beside me, but the chance of winning a flat-screen TV at the top of every inning was pulsating for a middle-aged woman with a TV-loving husband. Throw in a rainbow and some man-made fireworks toward evening, and it was a perfect summer outing. The only disappointment was that cold soft pretzel.

When I was a kid, it seemed that summer never ended. My entire childhood is stored in my memory as one ongoing summer. What other season can top summer for holding the most memorable times in our lives? My earliest summer memories are of the sixties. Pillow was the only town I called home until I married in my twenties and moved to Dalmatia. In the sixties we lived in a trailer in a part of town called the "mud pike." I think somebody's mother came up with that nickname because a small stream ran adjacent to the houses on that block.

I can't imagine growing up in a city. The things I would have missed! You can't find a good swimming hole in the city or grab mom's mason jar and come home with a batch of tadpoles or caterpillars. You can't keep a horse in the city. You can't pitch a tent in your friend's back yard and tell your mom you're sleeping over, then spend the night running around town until daybreak. Most city kids don't have big yards to catch lightning bugs and play hide-n-seek in the dark. They can't lay in bed listening through an open window to late night sounds of the summer carnival: The twang of guitar from the band stand, The ting of pennies hitting glass, and the microphoned call of letters and numbers until "we have another winner" at Bingo.

Summer and small town living are two of the best things in life, and summer is here once again. The strawberries are in. The games have begun, and more memories are waiting to be made.

THAT DON'T IMPRESS ME MUCH

I was watching Joyce Meyer tonight. She said, "Character is what you do when no one is watching." It got me thinking about the time and effort we put into doing things simply because people are watching us. For example, I don't particularly like washing my car. But when I do, I feel better about driving it. And maybe it's not just for myself, but how I look to others. A dirty car says something about you. So I got to thinking: If I lived on an island all by myself, would I bother to wash my vehicle? How many things do I do for the sake of looking good to others?

There's never been a time when people were more conscious of how they look to others. Just go shopping with a pre-teen and you'll see how important it is to have the right clothes and the right look. My daughter and I disagree about this all the time. I want her to be less tuned into the ways of the world and stop putting so much pressure on herself (and her parents) to have clothes with a certain name on them. If she lived on an island by herself, would she give two hoots about the name Hollister? No she wouldn't.

Perhaps we could all use a few weeks alone on that proverbial island. Wouldn't it be interesting to see how our character would change when we discover that suddenly no one is watching? What would we do differently?

The first thing we'd be relieved of is the desire to impress people with our image, achievements or financial status. If we suddenly had to live like Tom Hanks in Castaway and our only friend was a volleyball named Wilson, we'd have no reason to flaunt those things. We'd no longer care how we looked to the world. There might be a great freedom in that.

Keeping up appearances takes a lot of energy. What's the payoff for our efforts? I was also watching The Bachelorette tonight, which I'm almost ashamed to say because the way those men were acting made me feel I was watching something undeserving of my time. Whatever happened to that show? Anyway as I was saying, Ali, the bachelorette, seems to be a woman who's not impressed by image or status. She's looking for someone with a good heart. For that I love her and I wish her well. I almost cheered when she failed to give a rose to Mr. Dark Shadows. He gave me the creeps.

When I think of the guys I've known and dated, I wonder why I wasted my time on half of them. Some of them were so into the world and impressing people. I couldn't see it then because I was too immature, too naive maybe. I can only thank God that I didn't end up with any of them because I don't think they've changed. I ran into an old boyfriend recently and he was the same guy I remembered. He ran off his list of "let's impress her" things he's into, and I pretended to be interested. Then he made sure that I saw him drive off in his hot car. I yawned as he passed by, checked my watch, then popped in a stick of gum.

Tell me you're the CEO of a successful corporation and that don't impress me much. But do something thoughtful and kind and I'll be so impressed I'll probably talk about you for months. Character is what we do when no one is watching. But the reality is that someone is always watching and someday we'll be rewarded for our character.

MAYBE YOU NEED SOME SLOW SIMPLE SILENCE

There are sixty million women in America who are so overstressed and over scheduled that it affects their physical health. This lifestyle of hurried busyness affects everyone in a woman's family, especially her children. In the midst of the modern woman's hectic life, her children are tossed around while desperately trying to steady themselves. Inside they are screaming,"Mom! you're moving too fast."

The message of our culture is that our value comes from what we do and how busy we are. Because we listen to this nonsense, we take on much more than we should. We don't know how to say No. Because we seek approval from people instead of from God we hate to disappoint others and we often say yes to validate our own importance. We need to stop wearing ourselves out being people pleasers and start making decisions based on what God is calling us to do.

Our value is not in what we do, our value is in who we are...God's children. But because we live in a culture focused on doing, we get caught up in the craziness of the world's hectic pace. There's a clear connection between rushing and stress. We need to stop being so hurried. When we hurry, we lose touch with God and all He wants to give us. We also lose touch with the people in our lives.

Time spent with God and time spent with our children may not be seen as productive time. If we can get some work done instead of doing those things, we think we've made the right choice. But what price are we paying for our busyness?  The price we pay is a life void of joy and peace. God created us to need time with Him. We need that calming and loving presence. When we neglect what the soul needs, we will look desperately for something else to fill the emptiness. I find that the days when I overeat are the same days that I spend the least time with God.

What are you most focused on? What takes up most of your time and energy? When you finally do have some down time, what do you think about? What do you treasure most in this life? God invites us to store up our treasures in Heaven. The only thing in this life that will last into eternity is relationships. Relationships with God and others should be our treasures. Unfortunately many people give possesions a higher priority than people.

One of the keys to simplifying our lives is to weed out all the stuff we don't need. Just as there's a clear connection between rushing and stress, there's also a clear connection between simplicity and contentment. The more stuff we have, the more debt we have and the more time we spend maintaining our stuff. That's precious time away from God and family. Debt keeps us from focusing on God. Debt makes us a slave to our things. It causes us to work longer hours, and the mental anguish that it brings is hardly worth the stuff debt buys.

Rather than focusing on buying stuff and achieving things, our focus should be on God. When we make following God a priority in our lives, everything else falls into place. We can actually invite God to help us make decisions. By running every decision through the sieve of God's will, we achieve simplicity. By scheduling some free time into our weekly schedules, we have more patience. Being impatient causes great heartache for ourselves and our families.

God holds the secret to successful living and true success is based on who we are not what we do. When we know how to slow down, how to simplify our lives, and how to build relationships with Him and others, we become who we need to be to live lives of peace, joy and contentment. If the joy and peace are missing, perhaps you need to slow down, simplify, and get silent with God.

THE SENSE TO LOOK DEEPER

I remember a verse that goes something like this, "Only the person involved can know her own pain; no one else can really share it." That verse and a few recent experiences have inspired me to write about the way we form opinions of others without knowing the full details of their lives. If only we could see the total picture, we might be more compassionate. If we could see the reasons behind the things people do and say, we might be more forgiving.

So much misunderstanding goes on when we communicate. And it's that misunderstanding which causes bad feelings and broken relationships. It amazes me how easily people can misunderstand what I'm trying to say. I was at a party last summer talking to a woman about what I might get into next. We got on the subject of selling and I told her about a woman who tried to recruit me as a salesperson. Within minutes the woman became defensive and told me that she has great respect for that person. "It takes a lot of discipline to do what she does," she said as if I were attacking the woman's character.

She assumed that I was criticizing the gal who tried to recruit me. But what she didn't realize was that I had helped that person get started in her business and we were on friendly terms. The point I was trying to make was that I can't sell to save my life. Looking back, I wish I would have told her how mistaken she was, but I walked away without telling her she misunderstood.

Once I sent a note to my daughter's teacher when she didn't want to take part in a spelling bee. The teacher didn't take it well from what my daughter told me.  But what the teacher didn't see was the exhausted mother (me) who wrote the note and the things that led up to it. From what I understood, the spelling bee was mandatory.  I wrote the note as a desperate attempt to quiet my daughter's fears, but I don't think it was received as that.

Jumping to conclusions is one way we get ourselves into trouble. Sometimes we hear something totally different than what the person meant. I've learned to give myself a cooling-off period whenever someone says something offensive. Too many times I've made a fool of myself by assuming something that just wasn't so. And then when I got the whole story, I felt like an idiot and had to apologize for my hasty judgment.

Another thing we do is fail to see the baggage that people carry around. Sometimes people do and say things because of past experiences. We don't realize that the reason someone is so sensitive about her weight is because of a fat stage she went through and the teasing she endured because of it. We don't realize that the reason someone seems so controlling and bossy is because she desperately wants children. Her motherly instincts are in overdrive and she has nothing to nurture but other people's lives. So she comes across as bossy and arrogant but she's really hurting inside.

Hurting people hurt people. It's from our own brokenness that we hurt others. And if we could just see beyond the offense and look a little deeper, we might discover that the hurt we're experiencing is actually the fallout from someone else's pain. We really should give people the benefit of the doubt more often. We really should be more forgiving, more understanding, and slower to assume the worst.  We can't see the hidden reasons why people do what they do. We don't know what's behind their hurtful words. But we can pray for our eyes to be opened to their pain. If we can understand the reason for their actions, we'll be more likely to extend grace. The world needs more grace.

PART OF THE HUMAN CONDITION

"People don't know what to do when the wheels fall off your life." I like that quote from The Longing, my latest reading treasure. The book is about finding your identity in Christ not in your accomplishments, your looks or anything else. In chapter six, Joey O'Connor makes a great point about brokenness and why it is an essential part of being a Christian: "Brokenness brings us to the end of ourselves. It is the very thing that brings us to our knees. It is the very thing we need to lead us to the wholeness found in Christ."

We need to give ourselves permission to be broken. That's hard to do in a society of winners who never want to appear weak, vulnerable, worried, anxious or overwhelmed. "We wear a thin veil of superficiality and shallowness," says the author. "We hide because we're afraid that if we truly open the lid of our hearts to show another person all of our fears and grief and pain, they'd say, "Yuck!"

I admire people who can be honest with their feelings without fear of appearing weak or vulnerable. There's nothing more endearing to me than a friend who openly shares her doubts, fears and pain. This is what life's about and it shouldn't make us uncomfortable. "We must accept our brokenness to find our wholeness in Christ," says O'Connor.

To find a friend who's honest is rare. Even rarer is finding a friend who allows you to be honest, especially when you're honestly hurting. Life isn't always about being strong and capable. Sometimes it gets messy and we should let ourselves be a mess without guilt. The idea that people, especially Christians, should always be strong and never struggle is wrong. The Bible is filled with stories of godly men and women who suffered greatly. "And through their suffering, God created something beautiful," claims O'Connor.

We all have seasons in our lives when we don't have it all together and we don't have all the answers. "Brokenness is part of the human condition," says the author. Then why do hurting people make us so uneasy? And why do we try so hard to hide our own brokenness? We're just not good at comforting people. We say the most ridiculous things to them. "There are other fish in the sea," is what we say to the heartbroken. "It's God's will," is what we say to the grieving. We'd be better off to say nothing.

People don't know what to do when the wheels fall off your life. But "Jesus, your broken savior understands your brokenness like no one else." Cling to Him. He promises to make something beautiful out of your brokenness.

TRUST WILL SET YOU FREE

Have you ever come across just the right book at a time when you really needed its wisdom? This happens to me all the time. I believe that God brings certain books into our lives at just the right time. It's one of the many ways that he communicates with us. Sometimes it's a magazine article or a lesson on TV. But the exact thing that I'm struggling with will suddenly appear in the form of a book, an article, a TV program or some other teaching tool.

The book I'm reading now is one that I bought a year ago. I finally picked it up this week and started reading. It's so good that I can't put it down. The book is titled, In God We Trust: But Only as a Last Resort. Trusting God should be the easiest aspect of Christian living. Yet we sometimes, perhaps often, have a hard time with it the book says. This is something I can relate to. I'm beginning to realize that the anxiety I've been feeling for the past three years has been caused by a lack of trust.

"Day after day, you and I tell God by our actions that we don't trust Him, even though He has proven Himself to us over and over again." Like many people, I have put my trust in something other than God. My constant worry and manipulation of situations proves my lack of trust. Only lately have I been able to relax. God brought this book to me to tell me what I've been doing wrong: "Don't put your trust in your friends, your bank account, your wisdom, or anything else. Put your trust in me."

"God says to us, If I can create an unlimited universe, if I can bring into existence the laws of nature, if I can hold the stars in space, if I can stop the sun from moving closer and burning up the earth or moving farther away and freezing the earth, if I can do all these things, then can't you trust Me?"

Oswald Chambers wrote, "All worry and anxiety come from the fact that we have calculated without God." When we try to work out solutions to our problems through our own wisdom and strength, we set ourselves up for sleepless nights, eating disorders, and days without joy the book points out. I'm learning that fear and faith cannot coexist and that faithlessness offends God. "Have you ever asked the Lord to forgive your sin of fear and unbelief?" the book asks.

We put our trust in so many things. We think that having money will give us peace. We put trust in our appearance and think that if we look good we will be content. We are more concerned about looking physically good than we are about people seeing the spirit of Christ in us. We buy designer clothes mostly to impress others. We depend on big incomes and big titles for our self-worth. Beauty, money, success, cars and houses are the things we seek more than God. Our materialism is destroying our trust in God.

One thing I've learned is that it's exhausting not to trust God. When we can't relax and really trust that God is who He says He is, and if we can't depend on Him for our welfare and our protection, we have no peace. Our minds become exhausted and we feel tormented. It's not the way God meant for us to live.

There's a simple formula that can set us free: "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." In other words, all the things we fear, all the things we worry about and have anxiety about will be taken care of if we put God first. That is such a simple answer, yet so many of us don't live that way. We have no faith. We just can't let go of the control. We think we know better. We think we can make things happen better than God can. So we ignore God and do it our own way.

Well I don't need to be hit over the head twice. I'm heeding the message and learning the lesson. Daniel Owens wrote a great book and by divine appointment it found its way into my hands at the exact time I needed it, when I was finally ready to listen. God communicates with us every day through the Holy Bible, through circumstance, and sometimes through the wise words of others. Our struggles are often the result of our refusal to listen and our refusal to trust God.

CAN'T KEEP A GOOD WEEBLE DOWN

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. 2 Corinthians 4:8-10

It's always fun to remember the toys we played with as kids and the TV commercials that touted them. I remember one particular toy commercial that sang the praises of a toy that was often scattered across our living room floor: "Weebles wobble but they won't fall down." Little egg-shaped people with a weighted center could be knocked around for fun. The fun was in watching them wobble from side to side until they finally came to rest standing perfectly straight, exactly as they were before me and my siblings crashed into them like bowling balls.

Weebles were introduced in the early seventies and were intended to be miniature versions of the popular clown punching bag seen on Romper Room. My brother had a blue punching bag with a smiling clown face. No matter how hard you hit that clown, he always came back up for another shot.

Do you ever feel like a weeble? Getting knocked around by life is something we can't escape. Some people keep their wobbly moments to themselves and others express them openly, but everyone knows what stress, failure, disappointment and burnout feel like.

One thing I'm learning about life's let downs is that they only last as long as is necessary for God to accomplish something in me. There's always a reason for my set-backs. One of those reasons is so I can develop godly character.

God uses adversity to mold and shape us into the people He wants us to become. Hard times have a way of removing pride and self-centerdness. The storms of life strengthen our faith and enable us to serve others better. We're able to comfort and encourage those who face difficulties because we know what it's like to face frustration and hurt.

Anyone who is honest can relate to the weeble's wobble. And like the weeble, we can recover from life's knockdowns. When our center of gravity is Jesus, adversity may come to visit, but it will never take up permanent residence. Because of our faith, our strength is renewed and we can once again walk with purpose and direction. We may get knocked around by life's struggles, but we are never defeated by them.

I'm learning that adversity is actually good for me. It builds godly character, it humbles me and makes me a better servant to others. No matter how much I get knocked around by life's let downs, I know I'll be fine if I stand in the confidence of God's faithfulness. I have to believe that he will deliver me out of my afflictions because he promises to do exactly that (Psalms 34:19).

When God is my center, I may wobble but I won't stay down.

THE GREATEST DECISION YOU'LL EVER MAKE

My sister gave me a book many years ago titled, Love Is A Decision. After reading it, I told others about it and was met with some very strong opinions on the subject. I'll never forget one friend in particular who became almost argumentative as she insisted that love is a feeling, not a decision. I can still remember sitting in her kitchen tossing comments back and forth as we pondered the meaning of love. We were both single and had our share of heartbreaks.

Love is a very powerful thing. It is perhaps the most popular subject of all. What discussion doesn't eventually turn toward the topic of love? Many books have been written about it and yet it remains a mystery to many. We just can't figure out how to love and we often find ourselves longing for it even though we've supposedly found it.

What makes love such an elusive and mysterious thing? If love is a feeling, why does the feeling come and go like a ghost on an occasional haunting? And if it is a decision, why don't more people decide to do it.

I believe that love is both a feeling and a decision, but the decision has to come first. We must first decide to love before someone can feel our love. And that is where things often fall short. Whether it is due to our own laziness, lack of desire, or plain ignorance, we just aren't willing to put in the effort it takes to nurture love. It is the greatest of all emotions and yet we take it for granted and refuse to do what it takes to keep it alive and thriving. We actually put more effort into our jobs, our hobbies, and our material investments than we put into our investments of marriage and family.

For example, how many people actually know the love language of each member of their family? A love language is the way that a person longs to be loved. Some people feel loved when they receive gifts. Others feel loved when they are given physical affection. Some need words of affirmation to feel loved. There are five basic love languages that people long to have spoken to them. Some people long for more than just one. How many people are in relationships right now and don't have a clue what language they should be speaking to keep their partner's heart satisfied and feeling loved?

The Five Love Languages is a book that everyone should read. Let me give you an example of the importance of speaking someone's love language. I'll use a fictional couple to demonstrate. Barbie and Ken have been married for fifteen years. For those fifteen years, Ken has been quite satisfied in the marriage. Barbie, however, is not happy and she hasn't been happy since the year they were married, when Ken stopped doing the things that made her feel loved. Her love language is physical touch and words of affirmation.

She thought those loving gestures would continue after they were married, but Ken was all too happy to finally relax after the wedding, knowing that he had won his bride and now he could settle into married life without having to pursue his wife anymore. They no longer spend recreational time together. He rarely expresses physical affection for her and has more compliments for the dog than he has for his wife.

The reason Ken is happy in the marriage is because his love language is acts of service. He likes having a wife that only works a few hours a week because having a hot meal on the table when he comes home makes him feel loved. He also likes a clean, well-kept house. He likes that Barbie keeps the pantry well-stocked, the laundry caught up, and she does everything it takes to keep the household running efficiently. Ken can come home after work and relax, knowing the household chores are done. His wife makes daily deposits in Ken's love tank by doing these acts of service and speaking his love language every day. His love tank is full and Ken is a satisfied husband.

On the other hand, Barbie has been running on an empty love tank for fifteen years. Physical touch and kind words are what make her feel loved. But her husband makes little effort to compliment her or praise her. She might get a pat on the back once in a while or an occasional peck on the cheek, but not on a daily basis. She feels lonely, unloved and unappreciated because her husband makes little effort to speak her love language. What hurts even more is how quick he is to praise and compliment other women. He thinks nothing of pointing out how beautiful, smart, or talented another woman is, but is not so quick to deliver words of affirmation to his wife.

The only way that Ken could understand how Barbie is feeling is if Barbie suddenly stopped cooking, cleaning, shopping for groceries, doing the laundry and performing all those acts of service that are so important to Ken's happiness. And on top of that, Barbie could go to another man's house and cook him a meal, wash his clothes, and clean. Then Ken would understand how much it hurts Barbie when he makes deposits in another woman's love tank by complimenting her instead of his wife.

This is how one spouse can be content in a marriage and another spouse can be miserable. Barbie has decided to speak her husband's love language. She's been doing it for years. But her husband hasn't made the same decision.

In every relationship and in every home you will find either love or a lack of it. Whichever it is, it is by choice. That's what makes love a decision. You're either willing to put forth the effort or you're not. There are no excuses. Either the person is worth the effort or not. And if you're getting everything you need from the relationship and giving little in return, then you've decided not to love. And someone is running on an empty love tank because of your decision.

KEEP PRESSING ON

By Danelle Carvell

                                                  

I keep pressing on through the never-ending chore of dishes 

Discouragement is universal. Who can't relate to feeling like your work is all for nothing? Who doesn't get tired of trudging along the same path day after day with no sign of a breakthrough, no glimmer of hope that things might turn around. I've been reading some very good examples of people who had every reason to quit but instead kept pressing on. And I am finding encouragement in their determination.

One of those people is John Roebling. He was a creative engineer who lived in the 1800's. Roebling had a passionate vision to build a bridge that would connect New York City with Brooklyn. But others didn't share his passion. Experts throughout the world told him it was impossible to build such a bridge and they advised him to scrap the idea. But Roebling refused to give in to his skeptics.

One person who did support his idea was his son, Washington, also a talented engineer. Together this father/son team came up with a plan, hired a crew and began to build their dream bridge. The project was off to a great start when just a few months into it, a tragic accident ended John Roebling's life. Three years later, his son was injured so severely that he couldn't walk, talk or move.

The naysayers had a field day with the Roeblings as they voiced their "I told you so" opinions using words like crazy, foolish, and wild dream chasers. But the youngest dream chaser wasn't down yet, not completely. Despite his severe handicaps, Washington's mind was still sharp and he still had a passion for completing the bridge.

As Washington lay in his hospital bed, an idea hit him. The only part of his body that he could move was one finger, so he decided to make use of it. During his wife's visits, he developed a code of communication by tapping her arm. One day he tapped a message to his wife telling her to call the engineers. Once again, the bridge project was underway with the instructions for completing it being tapped out onto his wife's arm.

Washington's wife must have been a patient, devoted woman. For eleven years she sat beside her husband as he used his one movable finger to tap out instructions for the engineers. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands as an awesome example of what can be accomplished when someone stays determined and refuses to be defeated by his or her circumstances.

The thing about quitting is that once you quit, you will never know how close you were to a breakthrough. It could have been right around the next corner. So the next time you feel like giving up, remember the Roeblings, remember that bridge that would not have been, and keep pressing on until that day when your own dream stands before your eyes in all its glory for all to see...a tribute to your refusal to quit when everything worked against you.

THE PROBLEM WITH WORDS

I love it when subjects to write about hit me while I'm brushing my teeth or going about my day. This one hit me while I was applying make-up. What do words have to do with make-up? I'm not sure, but maybe I'll figure it out as I write.

This subject has been building for several weeks. When something happens over and over it's destined to become a writing subject. Over the past few months, I've had so many people talk about the power of words and this subject recently became personal when I sent an email that I later regretted. A friend of mine did the same thing two weeks ago when she failed to scroll to the end of an email that she thought was encouraging. She sent it to several friends only to discover with great embarrassment that the ending was extremely inappropriate.

There's no doubt about it, words can get us into trouble and the wrong words can bring a lot of hurt. I'm sure many relationships have been harmed or destroyed by careless words or words that were taken in a way they weren't intended. And once you press "send," it's too late.

In some cases, what we're trying to say just doesn't come out right. I remember a letter I sent to a friend a long time ago. I was trying to explain my frustration with her requests when she came in for haircuts. This girl was very trendy. She had great hair and she wanted her hair to stand out in a crowd. At the time, I was thinking of getting out of the hair business and maybe my heart just wasn't in it, but I tried to tell her in a nice way that perhaps she should try another stylist because every stylist has her strengths and weaknesses. The hairstyles she wanted were not my strength.

I haven't heard from her since I sent that letter. It's obvious that she was offended by something in that letter. Something I said didn't come out right or was taken in a way it wasn't intended. But the thing I keep coming back to is that if our friendship really meant something to her, wouldn't she have wanted to discuss it? I tried. Are words that powerful that we can walk away from a friendship just because of them? I guess so.

The thing about letters and emails is that we can't see body language and facial expressions. We can't hear the person's tone of voice as we read, and we can't ask for clarification if we misunderstand. For those reasons, a face to face conversation should always be the first choice. The second option is a phone conversation because at least with that we can hear the person's voice and we're able to discuss any misunderstandings.

I love to write letters. Call me old fashioned, but there's something about pulling a card or letter out of an envelope. There's also the excitement of seeing that envelope in the mailbox with my name on it. It's just more exciting than email. Somehow it seems more significant. Maybe because it took more time and thought. I prefer letters to email. And I probably send more cards and letters than I make phone calls.

Communication is a good thing. Even an email is better than not saying anything. I think the problem with words is that perhaps we don't try hard enough to really understand. We don't call the person after we get a questionable letter or email to make sure that what we read and understood is exactly what the person meant. And perhaps we don't take the time to think about what we're saying and how it might be taken. And sometimes we don't take the time to read every word before we pass it on.

We have all said things that we wish we wouldn't have said. Every one of us has had a moment when we wished we could have turned back time and been more careful with our words. It's for that reason that we need to be forgiving when it comes to words. We need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Just because a few words didn't come out right is no reason to turn our backs on someone.

Maybe the reason I thought of this subject while putting on make-up is because when someone reads this they might be prompted to make up with the one they're mad at. They might come to realize that the relationship is worth more than a few poorly said words. Or they might come to see that an apology is in order. Words have great power, and sometimes it's the power to heal and restore.

DIAMONDS ON THE SIDEWALK

When it comes to expressing joy, I'm not as expressive as I'd like to be. When I meet someone who is abundantly joyful, I always wonder how they do it. How do they have the energy to bounce around smiling all the time and saying positive things constantly. It's as if they're plugged into some kind of power source that keeps them "up" all the time.

The bible talks a lot about joy and I know that being close to God is supposed to bring us joy, but sometimes I feel like I must be doing something wrong because I don't feel the kind of joy that some people so obviously express. My joy is more of a quiet joy. It's not part of my personality to bounce around with a constant smile, offering hugs and happy talk. I guess my joy is more obvious to God than it is to people. And that's okay. We all express emotions differently, especially joy.

The things that bring me joy might be things that most people take for granted, like being seated at a table by the window in a restaurant or better yet, being seated next to the fireplace on a bitter cold night. I find joy in my daughter's freckled nose and my son's sudden bursts of silliness. He'll shuffle across the floor or make a silly face and I'll feel joy in knowing that my children are part of my life. In that moment I thank God for them and I feel joyful.

I just read about a woman who said she finds joy in the sparkles on the sidewalk. When the sun hits the new sidewalk near her home, thousands of little diamonds shimmer as she steps across the reflective white concrete. How many others walk across that sidewalk everyday and never notice the bursts of joy under their feet?

Whether our joy is obvious to everyone or more obvious to God, it seems to me that being joyful is a choice. It's not something that we automatically do. We can choose to search for the joyful moments or choose to dwell on the downers. I'm trying to get in the habit of expecting moments of joy as I go about my day. I don't want those moments to pass by unnoticed. I'm learning that by looking for joy and expecting it, I can bring more of those moments into my life.

I guess we can't find anything unless we search for it. Joy is no different. I also remember reading about a guy who looks for joy when he takes out the garbage. He breathes in the crisp night air and always looks up at the stars. A mundane task that most people hate is turned into a moment of joy because of what he decides to dwell on when he gets there.

I believe that some day we will be made aware of all the moments in our lives when we missed the joy. Some day we'll see all those little diamonds that we walked right by simply because we weren't looking for them or expecting them.

IT ALL COMES BACK DOUBLE

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I want to write about love. Actually, in eight minutes it will be Valentine's Day. Where did this day go? I spent the day shopping with my sister at the Colonial Park Mall. It was a good day. The people I came across seemed to be in good spirits. Maybe they were happy just to get out after all the snow. Whatever the reason, I saw a lot of smiles today and I was even on the receiving end of an act of kindness as I stood in line to pay for my purchase. The lady behind me offered a store coupon she wasn't planning to use. She saved me five dollars.

"You know, that will come back to you," I said thankfully. "That will come back to you double." She smiled realizing that she did something nice for someone who really appreciated it. Her simple act of kindness put a spring in my step as I walked away. It wasn't just the five dollars she saved me, it was the thoughtfulness behind it. There are still thoughtful people in the world who reach out and do kind things for total strangers. That's refreshing to see, and it's one moment in my day that I'm thankful for.

I truly believe that the things we do and say always come back to us in even greater measure. I'm just now remembering a day a few months ago when I offered a 40% off coupon to a woman at a children's clothing store. She had several little girls with her and she seemed shocked by my offer, but appreciative. The coupon would have gone to waste since it was only good for that day and I wasn't planning to use it. What happened to me today at the checkout was no doubt part of my pay back for my own thoughtfulness. That's how life works, and it's why we need to be so careful about the things we say and do.

The bible puts it this way..."you reap what you sow." If you speak negative words, those negative words will come back to you in even greater measure. What you get back may not come in the form of words, maybe it will come to you in another unpleasant form, but you can be sure that you will reap what you sow. I believe this is why bad things continually happen to some people. They bring it on themselves by what they say and do. You can't expect a blessing when you send no blessing out into the world.

When I hear the way some people talk, I wonder how they don't get tired of hearing themselves speak so negatively all the time. It's like they are in some kind of addicting habit they can't break. I want to say, "Can you say something positive?" Those same people who have nothing positive to say then wonder why nothing good ever happens to them. Well duh!

Everyone complains at times. What I'm talking about is continual complaining. The constant refusal to see the glass as anything but half empty. Never giving anyone the benefit of the doubt that perhaps they do have our best interests at heart. Seeing the bad side of everything. Always ready to jump down someone's throat, always disappointed, always hurt, always reaping what you sow.

I write like I know because I do know. I know exactly what it's like to be that way. I was once the queen of sowing and reaping. I sowed so many fields of crap I could have fertilized an entire harvest. And when it came time to reap, I reaped twice the crap I sowed.

Thank God I've been set free from all that. I finally realized what I was doing and changed my ways. Now I'm very careful what I say to people. I'm not perfect. I do speak words that are less than positive. I get angry at times and I can deliver a cutting comeback if provoked. But overall I'm more aware of what comes out of my mouth now and I'm more aware of the things I do that might hurt people. I'm much quicker with an apology. I'm better at extending grace to others, and I've gotten better at just saying nothing. Because sometimes it's best to just keep my big mouth shut.

I'll never forget the day when I realized just how good I had become at holding my tongue. I was the target of a verbal assault that included more than one person and it seemed to go and on. Everything in me wanted to defend myself. I could feel myself wanting to blurt out the most hateful things. But I didn't. I let them have their say as I stood there saying nothing. When it was over, I'll never forget the look on both their faces. It was a look of shame and regret. By holding my tongue I made them realize their own folly. They reaped what they sowed right before my eyes. It was priceless.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Choose life. Choose love.