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Thursday, February 19, 2009
KEEPING IT REAL
Have you ever been around someone who just makes you uncomfortable? She just doesn't seem real. You sense that she's trying to appear a certain way-sophisticated, proper, whatever you want to call it. She's just not genuine, almost not human. And you find yourself keeping your distance because she seems to be analyzing your every move.
In her book, The Life You Long For, Beth Moore says that the number one comment she's heard repeated throughout her ministry is, "Thank you for being real." Beth admits that she's disturbed by that comment. "Why would personal transparency be so exceptional among Christians?" she wonders. Then she offers her priceless wisdom: "People don't need us to act like we always have it together. They need help!"
I'm not sure what women get out of appearing sophisticated and proper, but friendship can't be it. People are drawn to honesty. They feel comfortable around people who are real. People who've made mistakes and admit it. People who struggle and admit it. People who aren't afraid to share their mess ups and don't look down on other people's messes. Like Beth pointed out, the world doesn't need us to be sophisticated and proper, it need us to care about people with compassion and kindness.
All my closest friends have one thing in common-they keep it real. We laugh together, cry together, and struggle together. None of us pretends to have a proper life. We openly admit that sometimes our lives are a mess. We fall apart and pick each other up. I see who my friends really are because they show me who they are. They admit their insecurities. They admit they have fears, doubts, and cellulite. And it makes me want to hug them not back away.
What would happen if women just cut the bull and got real? We'd be dangerous because we'd be stronger. There is strength in numbers, but when we act like we always have it together, there's no one supporting us because who can relate to that? There's no one to pick us up because we don't seem real and in need of help. So we struggle alone in our sophisticated, proper world.
"That bull is keeping us from a profound healing from God because it blinds us to our own needs," says Moore. Putting so much effort into being the best keeps us from really improving our lives and bringing joy to others. When we're not real, we're not alive. We're more robotic than human and we miss the real joys in life. We miss real friendship, real love, and real understanding.
Let this be the year we cut the bull and get real. Instead of putting effort into being the best, being proper and sophisticated, lets put our effort into getting real and helping others. I believe it's one of the keys to a happy life that's blessed by God in so many ways. Keeping it real keeps the blessings coming.
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