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Sunday, January 13, 2013

OPEN HOUSE, OPEN HEART

Hebrews 13:2 

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

1 Peter 4:9 

Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.


Rarely do I leave a gathering of people without saying something I later regret. Sometimes when I intend to be humorous it backfires and my words aren't taken as funny. Sometimes when I try to clarify something, my questioning is met with defensiveness. Many times in my life I have wished that I could suck those words right back into my mouth  I wish that no one would have heard what I said.

The thing about socializing is that we don't have time to analyze everything we're going to say. A conversation would become stale very quickly if we truly thought about every word and how our words might be perceived. So, of course, it is inevitable that on occasion something will slip out of our mouths that we wish we wouldn't have said. We wish that we would have chosen our words more carefully.

This was the case for me recently when I was making conversation with a woman who had moved into a new home. "You haven't been to our house yet," she said. I put on my best joking face and said, "I wasn't invited." The woman behind me quickly chided, "Oh just go. You don't have to be invited." We laughed and no one seemed hurt by my comment, but I felt uncomfortable after saying it. As if I was accusing this woman of not being hospitable. I had never invited her to my house either, so the same could be said about me. 

As I drove home I wondered how true it was. In this day and age is it really true that we can "just go" anywhere without an invitation and expect to be welcomed there? Would I welcome someone who showed up on my doorstep unexpectedly? I thought about times past when people had dropped in without notice and to my shame I recalled feeling annoyed at times by unexpected company.  But I shouldn't feel that way. 

When I was a girl, my parents went visiting often. And I recall people dropping by to spend time chatting with my parents. Sometimes those conversations would be spoken in Pennsylvania Dutch and I would get mad because I couldn't understand what the adults were saying. I have many fond childhood memories of visiting other people's homes and having people visit our home. In fact, if I compared the amount of visiting I did as a child to the amount of visiting I do now, it would be embarrassing to report. 

Why has this changed so much? Why aren't our homes open to visitors as they were years ago? And why do we so rarely invite guests into our homes? I believe the answer is because women's lives have changed. Women spend much of their time outside the home, either working or running their children to activities. When they finally do get home, they're exhausted and the thought of an unexpected guest can feel overwhelming. 

The house is a mess. It's been a week since she went to the grocery store, so the pantry is empty. And having to socialize takes energy. After working 40 hours at her job and another 40 at home, cooking, cleaning, caring for kids, and running them here and there, the lady of the house is ready for a hot bath and a nap, not an unexpected guest. Hospitality is one more thing on the list. It's one thing that we can easily scratch off and not bother with. 

But this is a wrong attitude according to the Bible, which has much to say about hospitality. There are many fine examples of hospitable women in the Bible. We often think of Mary and Martha as an example. Most of us know that story. But another great example is Rebekah. She is the first person that Abraham's servant meets when he travels across the desert to find a wife for Isaac. Rebekah meets him at the well and she is quick to give the man a drink. Then she goes a step further and offers to water his camels too.  You might think that was an easy task, but it probably required fetching a hundred gallons or more. 

Remember that she was doing all this for a total stranger. And Rebekah didn't stop there. She then invited the servant and his entourage to spend the night, which required even more work because you know those men were hungry. How many women today would take on that much work for someone they don't know? I would guess about zero. But according to the scripture above, we never know when that stranger might be an angel sent by God to test our hospitality.

I guess I have one more thing to add to my New Year's resolution list. I resolve to be more hospitable. I want to keep Rebekah in mind this year and pray that God will use me that way. I'll have to pray for her energy, but God can give me that. I want to make more of an effort to invite people into my home, and if a friend shows up unexpected, I will greet her with a sincere smile and let her know she's welcome. And just to be funny, I'll tell her how glad I am that she didn't come by camel.





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