PAY ATTENTION TO THE CLUES

My daughter is trying to decide what to do with her life. She has an opportunity to go to a Technical School and learn some skills in the medical field. But this would require giving up some things. She would no longer be attending regular classes at her school, but would spend most of her day at Tech. She wouldn't see her friends as much and she'd spend more time traveling by bus since Tech is even further from home than Middle School. She would also have to give up playing her clarinet in the band and being part of school concerts.  It's a big decision and she's having a hard time deciding what to do.

My husband is trying to talk her into Tech because he thinks it's a great opportunity for a free education and a chance to be employable right after graduation. He had a chance to join the Air Force after high school and still regrets the fact that he "chickened out" (his own words).  He doesn't want her to miss an opportunity because of fear of the unknown. Deep down I don't want her to go to Tech because it's a long drive every day and I'm not sure that she'll be happy there. But it's her decision, and I'll support her choice.

All this makes me think about when I was fourteen and wondering what I should be when I grow up. I was pretty much clueless about my future until my senior year when I applied for a scholarship to beauty school and earned a free ride by writing about how I wanted to take this first step toward independence without putting a financial burden on my parents. The test included other questions about the technical aspects of hair styling, but I think it was my essay that got me the scholarship.

After beauty school, I went to work in Lewisburg at a salon called Great Expectations. That's where I met Crystal Stiely, who became my best friend when she was also hired at Great X. After a few years of working in Lewisburg these two young crazy girls decided we were going to leave the small town life behind (I lived in Pillow, she lived in Dornsife) and move to sunny Florida. We packed my yellow mustang and drove to the Palm Bay area, where Crystal knew a salon owner that had promised to hire her. I found a job shortly after arriving, working at a salon called Andre's. All the stylists wore these cute red shirts and black pants. It was a classy little salon.

But I was miserable. All I could think about was going home. I gained weight because I comforted myself with oatmeal creme pies every night. While Crystal was excited about her new life, I missed my friends and family. Not everyone can drop their life and give up everything they've known to set out on an adventure six states away. It wasn't long before I announced that I was going home. Crystal drove back to Pennsylvania with me. By that time she was ready to visit her family, but was determined to go back. In fact, she's still living in Florida, is married and has a rich, full life as a photographer and salon owner. She's a gutsy girl with a lot of energy and determination.

I can still remember driving into Pillow after returning from Florida. Nothing had changed. It was as if I never left. But seeing those familiar streets and houses and then seeing my own home as I pulled into the driveway was a comforting feeling. I had no idea where I was going from there, but I was back where I belonged and I'd figure the rest out later.

I don't remember how it all happened exactly, but soon after getting home I opened a salon in the apartment my father had rented out to several tenants over the years. Since I was a child, I watched people move in and out of that apartment, so I didn't think it a big deal when I asked the present tenant to vacate the premises. I had big plans and she needed to find another home. Looking back, I realize how selfish that was of me to assume that I could just open a business and expect people to accommodate my wishes. I often wish my dad would have said "no" to my idea, but he probably didn't have the heart to crush my dreams.

My salon in Pillow wasn't a big success. I made enough money to pay the bills for a while, but I wasn't good at promoting the business. I thought I could just hang a shingle and people would show up. I spent a lot of time waiting for the phone to ring. I had more success when I moved the salon to Dalmatia after getting married to my high school sweetheart. But even then I felt something was missing. I didn't really enjoy the work. And I didn't always feel that I was good at it. At one point I gave up the whole thing and went to work in a shoe store at the mall. Like that was some kind of improvement. 

That's when I began to think about writing again. I enrolled in classes at Harrisburg Area Community College and pursued a degree in print journalism. English had been my favorite class in high school. An English teacher once encouraged me to have one of my assignments published. It was a short piece of fiction titled, "Marty and the Giant Cucumber". I laughed at her when she pointed out my talent. At that point I had no clue that I could write well and I didn't consider it as part of my life's work. The one talent that I was aware I had, drawing and painting, wasn't something I considered a career choice either.

 I wish that I had paid attention sooner to these clues about what I should do with my life. I should have listened instead of laughed when a teacher noticed I had writing talent. I should have considered a career where I could use my artistic ability. God had instilled certain talents in me, writing and art, and it took me a lifetime to discover how much joy they could bring to my life.

 I've had so many unfulfilling jobs that left me feeling empty and frustrated because I wasn't nurturing the talent God gave me. Selling shoes was a disaster. Waitressing was a nightmare. Secretarial work was the worst job ever. No I take that back, I once worked at a place called Burrells Press Clippings where I scanned newspapers all day, looking for key words that I would circle. Cutters in another room would then cut those articles and send them to the clients who requested everything that was written about those key words that I had memorized. I drive by the empty building on Devonshire Road recalling few fond memories of the place. No doubt the newspaper scanners are no longer people but machines.

I felt like a machine working at Burrells. But I loved working as a peer English tutor at the college. I loved writing for our college newspaper. Those jobs allowed me to use my natural talents and I felt great satisfaction in that. For years I was miserable with my work because I wasn't doing what came naturally to me. I realize now that I missed my calling as an art teacher, but God is giving me a second chance to pursue that path as an art instructor for kids at a local art gallery. He has also given me an opportunity to write for our local newspaper. I love telling stories about people in our community. I love to hear how those stories inspire others.This is what I was meant to do and that's why it works.

I hear of so many people who go to college and get a degree in a certain field and then go on to do something entirely different from what they studied. They wasted a lot of time and money on something that hasn't really helped them in their work. My concern about my daughter going to Tech is mainly about the field she's choosing to pursue. Is it really her life's work. Is it really nurturing the ability that God gave her. Because if it's not, she won't stick with it. It will all be wasted time.

As parents, we would be wise to pray for our children to know what God wants them to do with their lives. We should remind them to pay attention when other people point out a talent or ability. God gives us many clues about the work that will bring us the most satisfaction. 

Ask your children what comes naturally to them. What is it they can do that doesn't seem like work? Is the career path they have in mind really nurturing their natural abilities and talents? I believe God wants us to find joy in our work. And he gave us just the right abilities to be able to do that. To say you have no talent is simply not true. Anything you do well, anything that comes naturally to you is a talent.When we ignore our natural talents, we ignore the work that God has prepared for us and we miss out on the jobs that seem almost effortless. Those are the jobs we stick with for life.