CALMING THE FIGHTER IN ME

                                                                                  

                    Having fun with the grandkids is a great way to calm my spirit 
 

 Lately I've been noticing the ways that I'm not pursuing peace with people. Yes, it's time for some self-refection because I'm not perfect and neither are you. 

Hebrews 12:14 says, "Pursue peace with all people, and the holiness without which no one will see God."

That's a sobering message because it tells me that I may not make the cut if I don't pursue holiness by pursuing peace with people. If I'm not growing in my faith, then I might not be saved.

So when I get frustrated and snap at a representative on the phone because it's a hassle to get something I need, that is not pursuing peace. 

When I repeat a negative thing that someone said or take photos that make someone look bad and then share those photos, I'm not pursuing peace.

When I yell, I'm not pursuing peace.

When I belittle someone for their unfortunate situation, I'm not pursuing peace.

Anything that stirs up negative emotions, hurt feelings, gossip, frustration, or resentment is an example of the ways we fail to pursue peace. And if I'm honest with myself, I'm guilty of doing that in more ways than I can comfortably admit. 

Right now, I'm frustrated because I'm jumping through hoops just to get a doctor's appointment and a prescription filled. It's been five days since I made my requests, but neither the doctor filling the referral nor the doctor filling the prescription has responded to my request. 

Also, my way of communicating with my doctor is not an option because my patient portal account was frozen due to five failed attempts to input a correct password. I could write an entire piece on my frustration with passwords. 

And, I was socked with a late charge on my credit card account because I received the bill two days after the payment was due. I'm hearing about the post office being backlogged, but this is the first it has affected me. 

I was not patient with the person who was trying to help me with the last mentioned frustration. Usually I apologize when I get snippy on the phone. "I know this isn't your fault, but I'm very frustrated," is something I have to say at times. But I didn't say it. I just hung up. And then I felt bad. 

But you know what, at least I felt bad. At least I have a conscience. Doesn't that mean my heart is in the right place? I care about hurting people. And I know I need to try harder. 

The past 11 months have been a trying time for all of us. I have lost my patience with the mask shaming brigade and I've had strong words for people concerning this virus, which I believe is simply a rebrand of the flu. I can't understand what all the fuss is about for something with a 99% survival rate. 

I don't respond well to stressful situations at times. And when several stressors come at me at once, it's challenging to stay calm. I heard a prophet talk about the importance of keeping your spirit decluttered and spending time with God. Both of those things would help me with my pursuit of holiness. 

By keeping my spirit decluttered, she meant walking away from anything that is violent, argumentative, mean-spirited, or just hateful. She said she doesn't watch certain TV shows because she needs her spirit to be pure in order to hear from God. 

I immediately thought of a certain TV show I watch in which girls are backstabbing each other and just plain being mean. Reality TV displays human conflict for ratings and I watch it. Don't I have better things to do with my time?

The pursuit of holiness requires sacrifice. It takes an effort to walk in the footsteps of Jesus. I feel inadequate most of the time. But admitting to problems is the first step toward improvement, so I do need to give myself some credit. 

I often say that I was born in the wrong era. I long for a simpler life. It's why I love The Waltons so much. The simplicity of life back then seemed to make it more enjoyable. No passwords, no cell phones, no automated messages when you really need to talk to a person, no late fees, no patient portals. People had time to pursue relationships because they weren't bogged down with so much clutter. 

So I'm working on decluttering my spirit and pursuing peace with all people. It's a big challenge, but there's a big reward waiting. 

Isaiah 54:17 encourages me not to be defensive, but to leave my vindication to God. Even in the midst of painful controversy and resistance, my reliance upon Jesus will yield fruit if I humbly and peacefully communicate my wants and needs to others. 

I think my list of past painful disappointments causes a kind of post traumatic reaction in me. I draw my sword and I'm ready to fight because I've been punched so many times. I need to learn to walk away and pray about it. I need to let God fight for me more often.