Followers
WELCOME
Friday, December 31, 2021
JOHNNY AND ELIZABETH ENLOW: THE SILVER PILL AND THE 4TH MAN!
Thursday, December 30, 2021
Masks purposely being forced on children to dumb them down by depriving their brains of oxygen
A NEW WEAPON OF WAR
The Covid vaccine is an experimental therapy that is killing people and destroying their health as this video explains. People don't have time to produce videos like this for something that is not true. Open your mind and please watch.
Wednesday, December 29, 2021
Bait and Switch: There remains no FDA approved COVID vaccine in the United States
There is currently no fully authorized COVID-19 vaccine available in the United States today, and this reality has been attacked relentlessly by the corporate press. "Fact checkers" at Newsweek, USA Today, Reuters the Associated Press, and elsewhere peddled false information to cover up this absolute fact. If you take the COVID vaccine, you are part of a human experiment.
https://dossier.substack.com/p/bait-and-switch-there-remains-no
The above link will tell you why Pfizer, Moderna, and others are working relentlessly to authorize their products for children, who face near-zero risk from COVID-19, but continue to showcase alarming side effects from the vaccine.
Mel K & Truth Warrior Dr. Christiane Northrup On The War On Women, Children & Fertility 12-29-21
Mel welcomes back her friend and fellow front line warrior for an important discussion on the medical industrial complexes war on humanity. Like lambs to the slaughter, women are unknowingly destroying their health and the health of their children.
Amanda Grace Talks...A POWERFUL WORD FROM THE LORD: STRIKES AND FETTERS
AMANDA GRACE: “THEY SHALL MAKE THE SLIPS OF THE CENTURY”
More hospital nurses blow whistle on “overwhelming” number of heart attacks, blood clots occurring in the fully vaccinated
Monday, December 27, 2021
STRENGTH FOR THE JOURNEY MAKES LIFE BETTER
I can't imagine my life without children and grandchildren, how boring it would be. I would hope that if I didn't have children I would find other ways to enrich my life and fill it with joy, fun and laughter. Perhaps I would volunteer to serve Christmas meals to people in need or visit elderly people who don't have a family to visit them over the holidays.
I should probably do those things anyway, but I haven't made the commitment. It's on my list. I have an ongoing list of things I want to do to help others, things I want to improve about myself, things I want to include in my life so I can be more like Jesus and be a better influence for the kingdom of God.
Does anyone ever reach the point of being all they could be? I forever feel like I should be doing more, trying harder, and accomplishing bigger things that will last for eternity. I know that God puts this desire in my heart. Where else would it come from? He is my inner voice, the one that corrects me when I say and do things I shouldn't, and the voice that guides me toward becoming all He created me to be.
There's a part of my brain that I wish I could turn off. It's the part that holds my regrets, my embarrassments, the memories of all my bad choices, and the things I wish I could do over. I won't talk about those things because it makes no sense to talk about what you'd like to forget. I think the best way to keep that bad stuff out of your thoughts is to fill your life with speaking and doing good things that help and encourage people.
The place to start is with my choice of words. I've been really hard on people since the Covid scare started. I had no fear of the virus from the very start, so I couldn't understand why people were panicking and doing the things they were doing. But I learned that not everyone is at the same point on their spiritual journey. It took me a long time to get where I am spiritually, so I need to let others advance at their own pace too.
I think that people have learned a lot in the past two years. I learned to be more empathetic to others when they don't understand what's really happening in the world, and when they don't understand and apply the promises of God to their lives. I ask for Holy-Spirit-led discernment and that's why I had no fear of Covid. But not everyone understands the power in that, so they don't ask for that discernment.
And to understand what's really happening in the world, you must understand the power of the media and how corrupt some news sources really are. Trump started the term "fake news" because many sources of news are biased toward a certain political push, and they use that platform to influence listeners. They have an agenda and everything they report or don't report is for the purpose of pushing that political mindset. In other words, they use fake news networks to brainwash people. Even if they must lie to accomplish their goal, they are more than willing to lie for the "greater good" of forcing people to think as they think.
Those who aren't willing to admit how evil our world has become are the ones living in the dark right now. They are the ones most easily influenced by global health scares and they are the ones most willing to follow strict rules, no matter how intrusive or oppressive. They have a long way to go on their spiritual journeys, and we can't help them by making them feel stupid or laughing at how naive we think they are. I have done both those things in the past two years and I'm trying to change my approach.
If you don't know the Bible and the history in it, you may not recognize evil. If you don't follow true news sources, then you can't know what's really happening in the world. If you don't have the discernment of the Holy Spirit, you can't weed out truth from falsehoods. And if you don't dwell on the promises of God, you will make decisions based on fear. This is why people have been battling with one another. It's a spiritual battle. And every person that I conflicted with over Covid has been someone who needs to grow spiritually.
God loves people who need to grow spiritually just as much as he loves those who are spiritually mature. And we need to remember that. We need to extend the love and grace of God to everyone, no matter how far along they are on their spiritual journey. I have yet to arrive at my destination. If I were already there, I would have nothing left to learn. I'm grateful that the more spiritually advanced people don't criticize my progress and make me feel inadequate. Everyone is behind someone, so we shouldn't laugh at the person behind unless we want to be laughed at by the person in front.
With a new year approaching, now is the time to look back on the past year and take inventory of the lessons we learned and apply those lessons toward making life better for ourselves and others. If you've been accused of not knowing what's really going on in the world, take some time to look into that claim. Maybe God is speaking to you and encouraging you to do some research or change your source for world news. If you've been living in fear, maybe you need to get out your Bible and dwell on the promises of God . If you're having a hard time knowing what is true and what is false or who speaks truth and who is being deceptive, then ask for Godly discernment. The Bible says that God gives wisdom to all who ask for it.
If there's one thing that will make your life better in the coming year, it's focusing on your spiritual journey. So many people suffer unnecessarily because they don't invest time or energy in God's plan for their lives. So God allows them to stumble and struggle and continue wondering why they can't ever get ahead of their troubles. Nothing changes until they decide to turn toward Him. And those are the people with the most powerful testimonies. They become walking proof that we are all on a spiritual journey and life is so much better when we stop relying on our own strength to get there.
Study: At least 400,000 people in America have died from covid “vaccines”
Dr. Eric Nepute: Biden, Fauci, CDC are lying to Americans again (VIDEO)
AMERICA IS NOW AN EVIL COMMUNIST EMPIRE
“We are under communism, period, no debate about it. We don’t have a constitutional republic right now. So the only question before us is will we restore the constitutional republic that we inherited and which we’ve squandered? Ever since the mid-20th century, we’ve allowed it to weaken because people won’t stand for their constitutional rights.
“We have given up on it. We’re not living by our constitution today, because we the people, each individual citizen, will not assert their rights, the rights that they have under the Constitution.”
Friday, December 24, 2021
A ROUGH YEAR FOR REPORTING THE NEWS, and it's not over yet
President Trump is tripling down on pushing the vax, as he tells the public he has had his CV19 booster shot. Trump is still taking full credit for “Operation Warp Speed” that he says “saved millions of lives.” Who cares if there are more vaccine deaths and injuries by orders of magnitude for the CV19 experimental jabs than all vaccines combined in the past 30 years. Does it work? Not if you consider, just this week, that Senators Warren and Booker got their CV19 booster (third shot) and both are now sick with Covid. Triple vaxed Jim Cramer, who wants forced vaccinations on all Americans, also just came down with Covid. It does not stop Covid, but it certainly works for profits for the vaccine makers. That much is for sure.
My Christmas message is bittersweet. It’s been a heavy year for reporting the real news. What is coming at us is going to be rough even if people like data analyst Clif high are only half right. The CV19 injections cause permanent damage, and almost everyone has a family member who got vaxed. The sad realization is there is no reversing this experimental jab. The main reason is the graphene stays in your system forever and acts like razorblades throughout your body until you die. The mainstream media intentionally misinformed people, and the psyop was intense. Many have been scared into taking it or simply think if they comply and get injected, they will get their life back. Of course, it is just the opposite.
So, the Christmas message is simply enjoy the birth of our Lord and Savior, live in the now and do not fear. Jesus is real and he loves us dearly.
https://usawatchdog.com/trump-triples-down-on-vax-gregs-christmas-message/
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS UNDER THE CONSTITUTION AND FIGHT FOR THEM
The military is kicking people out who refuse the Covid vaccine. This interview explains why this is an illegal action for any business or organization. I pray that people come together, hire an attorney and push class action lawsuits on every place that is doing this. This is criminal activity that is completely illegal and unconstitutional and these people need to be called out for their crimes.
Wednesday, December 22, 2021
INTELLIGENCE BRIEFING WITH ROBIN AND STEVE - EPISODE 31
Sunday, December 19, 2021
Ep 2656b – Proof To Begin 11.3, Iron Eagle, Long Term Solutions In Place, Knockout Punch Coming
THOUSANDS Turn Out to See President Trump in Houston -- AMAZING VIDEO!
Amanda Grace Talks..A POWERFUL, MIGHTY, AND TIMELY WORD FROM THE LORD
THEIR EVIL AGENDA IS FALLING APART (VIDEO)
Everywhere you look you see failing narratives. On the Covid front, they are telling people to get the boosters. They have gotten two shots already and they are getting Covid. Another study out of Israel this week says natural immunity is better than injections. Another study out of Harvard a few weeks ago says the same thing. Now, the CDC is admitting that 80% of the Omicron cases are with the “Fully Vaxed.” 33% of those cases are with people vaxed and boostered. YouTube just censored a video from Joe Rogan with cardiologist Dr. Peter McCullough warning about how the Deep State is stopping treatments like Ivermectin that work. The censorship from YouTube has now become part of the failing narrative and is a big story in and of itself. Now there is this video that showing young athletes dropping from heart attacks after being vaxed. You cannot hide this.
The entire narrative is falling apart, and Joe Biden keeps losing in court for his precious mandates for experimental vaccines for everyone. In pro sports, the NFL is fighting new Covid cases by the dozens, and the organization is at least 95% vaxed. It was just announced that the problem was so bad that the NFL is cancelling some games this weekend. Their answer to the Covid problem they cannot hide? More shots are required, and that means getting a booster and more of what does not work. There are also many new videos of soccer players falling to the ground and grabbing their chests. They are all vaxed up and having public heart problems while playing a game. There is nothing to see here. It’s all just a coincidence as some of the mainstream media tries to explain away why young people in the prime of physical condition are having heart problems after being vaxed.
On the financial front, the temporary or “transitory” inflation has changed to “persistent,” according to Fed Head Jay Powell. He says he’s going to fight inflation and, yet, passes on raising rates off the near 0% mark this week. His anti-inflation narrative is failing too, and that means much more inflation is on the way. Either way, many are going to end up poor. watch the video at the link below.
https://usawatchdog.com/evil-globalist-narratives-failing-everywhere/
Saturday, December 18, 2021
RECEIVING A PROPHET'S REWARD by Johnny Enlow
As Steve Shultz interviews Johnny Enlow, he will be discussing current prophetic revelation including the Prophet’s Rewards that are about to be paid! God lifts up prophets and speaks through them so that people will repent of their wrongdoings. When God says it's time to receive rewards, then something is about to be over.
Johnny says that Donald Trump is operating behind the scenes as a global president with more government authority than anyone else.
https://rumble.com/vqwwf4-johnny-enlow-recieving-a-prophets-reward.html
Friday, December 17, 2021
Latest VAERS estimate: 388,000 Americans killed by the COVID vaccines
Anthony Fauci SUPPRESSED effective treatments against COVID-19 to benefit Big Pharma – Brighteon.TV
PROOF THE PANDEMIC WAS A COORDINATED PLANNED EFFORT FOR MASS VACCINATION
Joe Rogan: So you believe this is a premeditated thing that they were doing. In order to get people enthusiastic about taking this vaccine, the best way to do that was to not have a protocol for treatment.
All the effective treatments for COVID 19 have been withheld from the public. They did that so people would opt to get vaccinated. Every vaccine lines the pockets of Big Pharma. If you do your research you will also see that the vaccines are killing people.
The evil behind this PLANdemic is being exposed through books, interviews, and videos like this one. Everyone will eventually have to admit that we've been had.
TIME TO ARREST THE COVID TYRANTS AND BE COMPENSATED FOR THE HARM FROM THEIR CRIMES
Karen Kingston says that public officials are committing felony crimes by pushing vaccine mandates. The governor of your state does not have a right to mandate masks.This was my argument when I was fired for refusing to wear a mask at work.
But even worse, no one has the right to force the injection of a vaccine that is killing people worldwide. People need to be educated about the rights that they have through our constitution. I could sue my workplace for what they did to me and I predict that attorneys will be very busy with lawsuits over the next few years.
THE DAYS AHEAD WILL BE EXCITING, NOT TROUBLING
Donna will be discussing profound prophetic words from the Lord about exciting days ahead, God’s glory is moving on the earth and great changes are coming to our nation.
We are living in a time similar to the biblical Exodus. People are crying out to be delivered from oppression. God is moving to do exactly that!
https://rumble.com/vqwqdc-donna-rigney-the-days-ahead-will-be-excitingnot-troubling.html
Thursday, December 16, 2021
WOMAN LOSES BOTH LEGS FROM BLOOD CLOTS AFTER COVID VACCINE
Earlier this year we spoke with Jummai Nache on this program. Nache is one of the most heartbreaking cases we’ve seen of harm caused by this vaccine they’re trying to force into everybody. Nache got the shot in order to keep her hospital job. Instead, the same hospital that forced her to get the shot ended up amputating both of her legs after her entire body was riddled with nearly-fatal blood clots. Jummai Nache’s life has been destroyed. But Congress gave all the Big Pharma companies blanket immunity for the damage caused by their vaccines. So, thanks to Congress, there is no chance that she’ll be able to hold Pfizer accountable. Or is there?
Paul Sheridan says that anyone who continues to push the vaccine mandate will be held accountable as being complicit in criminal activity.A WARNING FROM KAT AND ANSWERS ABOUT HEAVEN
The foundation of the deep state is crumbling.People are stepping down from important positions because they are being exposed. If you are involved in dark activity that you know is wrong, now is the time to repent Kat Kerr warns. Get out of the darkness while you can, distance yourself from it or your wrongdoing will be exposed for all to see.
https://rumble.com/vqucy2-wednesdays-with-kat-and-steve-episode-55.html
THE SUPREME COURT IS ABOUT TO BE RESHAPED
Barry will be discussing fresh prophetic revelation over the U.S. Supreme Courts, and releasing words over Canada, Australia and more! The corruption in the Supreme Court is about to be exposed, and people will be shocked. Certain court justices are taking bribes to make certain decisions. John Roberts' days are numbered.
Barry was shown who is in power in all areas of government and how those people are manipulating others to make evil decisions that are destroying America and the lives of its people. A spiritual outpouring that will expand the kingdom of God is coming. We will take back the land that the enemy has stolen. Watch the video at the link below.
https://rumble.com/vqtuwl-barry-wunsch-word-for-the-supreme-court-i-am-removing-the-veil.html
VAXXED MOMS DELIVERING DEAD BABIES
My daughter works in a hospital as a hearing screener for newborns. Every week she tells us how many babies died either in the womb or several weeks after birth. The hospital staff are questioning why the number of deaths is so high right now. This is happening all over the country. But you will only hear about it through alternative, true news sources. Watch the video at the link below.
https://rumble.com/vqpnai-new-normal-dead-babies-vaxxed-moms-delivering-injured-dead-babies.html
Monday, December 13, 2021
WAYNE ROOT: If the Vaccine is So Great, Why are So Many People Dropping Dead? Heart Attacks Skyrocket, Children Suffer Heart Problems, Soccer Players Dropping on Fields, ICUs Overwhelmed From Coast to Coast
COVID 19 VACCINE CAUSES AIDS WARNS DR ZELENKO
For every child that would supposedly die from Covid, 100 more will die from the vaccine. Dr. Zelenko exposes the dark truth about the Covid vaccine. Watch the video at the link below.
Covid “vaccines” prevent recipients from EVER acquiring true immunity
THE REAL TONY FAUCI: SINISTER, EVIL HISTORY OF EXPERIMENTING AND KILLING HUMANS
Fauci has been around a long time. He’s been director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases since 1984. And Fauci wasn’t just sitting around, waiting for this virus to thrust him into the global spotlight. He had a career.
As head of NIAID, Fauci controls more than $6 billion in funding for scientific research. That’s enough money that Fauci, for decades, has shaped the very direction of medical research. Robert Kennedy reveals the full extent of Fauci’s sinister behavior in the early days of the AIDS crisis.
He shows how Fauci sabotaged many low-cost treatments for the disease in favor of promoting a chemotherapy drug, AZT, as the only solution. AZT basically didn’t work, and instead killed a lot of the people taking it.
Robert Kennedy Jr. joins us to discuss. View video at the link below.Sunday, December 12, 2021
DOCTOR'S ORDERS: A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE DANGERS OF YOUR BLIND TRUST
Every day we blindly believe people in authority and do what they tell us to do. In the past two years, authority figures have told us to stay home, wear masks, and get vaccinated. We have given up our constitutional freedoms simply because we were told to do so.
This video will plainly explain why we can't completely trust the medical community, the pharmaceutical industry, the political path of science, or the government. Every fact in this documentary can be proven. This is not a conspiracy theory.
It's time for Americans to stop blindly trusting doctors, scientists, the government, the CDC, Big Pharma and countless other entities that have become compromised by self-interests that are not conducive to your well being.
If you watch this video from start to finish with an open mind, you will never forget it. Evil creeps into everything over time. but good people are exposing the evil. Will you make the intelligent decision to hear what they have to say?
https://defendingtherepublic.org/doctors-orders/
Saturday, December 11, 2021
FAUCI PATENT: VAXXED INDUCED
HIV GLYCOPROTEIN FOUND IN VACCINES... FAUCI COMMITS CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY at the link below.
KIDS JABBED AND MASKED TO DEATH, MAXWELL TRIAL, CIA AGENTS EXPOSED ON STEW PETERS
The town of Stillwater, Minnesota, just outside the Twin Cities, is known for being the oldest town in Minnesota, but now it’s known for something else: West-coast levels of tyrannical mask mania. Abby Lee is a mom in Stillwater. Her son, a six-year-old, was just expelled from school for not abiding by a strict masking mandate. Abby Lee joins us.
It’s sad enough seeing covid vaccines in adults who believed lies they were told, or who had to choose between the shot or losing their jobs. But now the FDA has raced to approve giving the jab to children under age 12, and that means we’re now seeing our first cases of severe side effects in kids who were too young to even make an informed choice.
Dr. Jane Ruby joins us.
These vaccines were rushed out as quickly as possible, and Donald Trump played a central role in getting them rushed out. Now, he’s deflecting responsibility to Biden; he says that Biden has failed to “sell” the public on the vaccine. Thanks to the same rushed process that the president himself promoted, it’s going to be hurting helpless young children.
Dr. Paul Alexander joins us.
It feels like there hasn’t been nearly as much attention on Maxwell’s trial in the press, compared to all the others, and rest assured, that’s likely by design. A lot of people, powerful people, don’t want the public learning too much about what Jeffrey Epstein was really doing. When Epstein “committed suicide,” he’d been charged with fraud and sex trafficking of minors, but there was every reason to suspect far more may have been going on. And according to prosecutors, Maxwell was at the center of all of it, as Epstein’s fixer and chief recruiter. And, again according to prosecutors, she also participated in some of the sexual abuse of minors directly.
Kash Patel joins us.
New documents have been released proving that the CIA covered up at least 10 cases of agents raping kids and veraciously consuming child pornography, and got off scoff-free. Stew Peters show investigative journalist Edward Szall digs into the report and makes the case for disbanding the Central Intelligence Agency.
Friday, December 10, 2021
Don't miss this video by Johnny Enlow: Navigating the Fog of War
https://rumble.com/vq6o3a-johnny-enlow-navigating-through-the-fog-of-war.html
The fog of war is a terminology about the information that comes out as a war is taking place. We can't tell what is going on behind the scenes as war progresses. We are still in the fog. Johnny Enlow helps us to see more clearly what is actually happening behind the scenes as this battle for our nation and our freedoms progresses.
We have a criminal as president. We are in a spiritual battle. We need to step up our concern and our prayer life.
PROPHETS GATHERING EPISODE 2
https://rumble.com/vqc1yg-prophets-gathering-episode-2.html
In this video, Amanda Grace and Robin Bullock talk with Steve Shultz about God's justice coming upon Planned Parenthood, The Supreme Court, and others. Our whole system of government from the lowest to the highest is corrupt.
This is the hour of the Lion's Den. This is one of the most incredible times to be alive and watch the word of the Lord come to pass. We are already watching the exposure of corrupt individuals such as Chris Cuomo being fired from CNN, as well as a number of CEOs stepping down as the Ghislaine Maxwell trial proceeds.
Biden is nothing more than a puppet. He's receiving orders from someone else, which is why he often says, "They told me not to talk about that." He doesn't even realize his admission that he's not the one calling the shots.
This is the time that those who stand for God will be promoted to much higher levels. We are coming to a point of destiny. We are in a battle for our freedom. It's going to go down in history who had the courage to stand for God during this time. We will either be remembered for our standing or we will be remembered for our falling away and hiding.
HEADLINES, EVIDENCE, AND PROPHETIC REVELATIONS
WHY DID GOD GIVE THE WORD ABOUT PRESIDENT TRUMP?
Friday, December 3, 2021
WEDNESDAYS WITH KAT AND STEVE - Episode 53
Wednesday, December 1, 2021
RAISING THE BAR ON FRIENDSHIP
Standing on the sidelines in our majorette uniforms at a 1978 football game |
By Danelle Carvell
As I got older and my priorities changed, I raised the bar on friendship. I want more than someone to hang out with, I want a friend who knows my heart and offers hers. The quality of that friendship is more important to me than just having a pal. My time is valuable, and I can't waste time with friends who leave me feeling empty on the drive home.
If all I wanted was companionship, I could make my husband my whole life and be happy. But I want girlish laughter and all-night emotional chats on subjects my husband can't relate to. A good friendship is just as important as a good marriage. The wrong husband can make your life miserable and so can the wrong friend.
I have let friends go over the years for different reasons. A past friend from my thirties proved unreliable and a bit selfish. She would make plans with me and then cancel when something else came up. I stopped spending time with another friend because our common interests changed. When our friendship began, we were both single. When I got engaged, she did things to sabotage my new relationship. I guess my engagement put a damper on her social life.
I have a list of things I expect from a friend, and everything I expect is also something I'm willing to give myself. I want a friend who gets into my soul, someone I can be transparent with because she knows me well and I trust her. She has to be honest and dependable. She listens intently and speaks the truth in love. I want a friend who takes an interest in my life and what's important to me. She doesn't compete with me, but encourages me to be fabulous. She's there when I accomplish something and she's there when I fall on my face.
I do have some great friends in my life, but I'm not as close to them as I'd like to be. My friends who are geographically close seem distant in other ways because their lives are so busy. And my friend Debbie lives far from me, but she is the one person I can talk to about anything. I first connected with Debbie in eighth grade, when we talked about trying out for the Upper Dauphin bandfront. She quickly became my best friend in high school, but we lost touch after graduation. Several years ago we reconnected.
Spending time with her again makes me realize why I liked her so much in high school. She's easy to be with. She's not overly-sensitive or insecure, so I don't have to watch what I say around her. If we have a misunderstanding, she forgives me. I love her sense of humor. We laugh about the same things. She's a caring, thoughtful person. We enjoy each other's company.
Of all the friends I've had, Debbie has been my very best friend. Maintaining a friendship with someone far away is challenging. We have a great time when we're together, but then there's that long empty span between visits. I guess I miss the friendship we had in high school when I saw her almost every day.
Debbie came into my life like an unexpected gift, but I had to look for most of my other friends. More than ten years ago, when I was pulled out of the workplace by health problems, I felt isolated. Every one around me seemed to have people close by on whom they could rely, but my life felt empty. I needed a support system, so I started a friendship group and invited five women to be a part of it.
We called it girls night. Once a month the five of us took turns making dinner at our homes. We would catch up on all that happened since we last saw each other. We shared our struggles and our triumphs. We laughed, we cried, and before we said goodbye we got a date on the calendar for our next gathering. My friends repeatedly thanked me for inviting them into the group. If I hadn't reached out to them, we would have missed out on all those wonderful nights of encouraging each other and having someone to listen.
But every time I drove home from one of those gatherings, I longed for a deeper connection with those women. Meeting once a month isn't my idea of a close friendship. I have tried to get closer to some of the gals, but their busy lives won't allow it. If my friends read this, I hope they'll feel complimented by my desire for closer friendships.
Woman are busy today. Some of them appear to be loners who only have time for personal achievement and self-fulfillment. They don't seem open to a new friendship. Some women I meet are too distracted by their own lives to care about mine. And at times I find women to be moody. One day they convey a warmth and openness, but on another day, they're cold and aloof. I avoid moody people because it's just too stressful to endure their up and down emotions.
A woman who consistently tells me by her attitude and words that she's glad I'm there is someone I want to know better. But women who always display warmth and friendliness are rare. How do I find friends when at almost every female gathering, women are either flaunting their accomplishments or their cleavage. So many women always have something to prove. Our culture encourages female competition and too many women are happy to comply.
No one wants to discuss the battles that go on among women. We like to be positive and think that we can all get along, but I've seen too many examples of women who would rather tear each other down than build each other up. With roving eyes, women search for flaws in other women to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities. Generations ago, women supported one another, but today that support is hard to find.
I recall a party I attended one summer. I was a stay-at-home mom at the time. One particular career woman in the group spent an entire hour coaching me on ways that I could improve my life. She just couldn't fathom that I was happy without a career. How could being a wife, mother and homemaker possibly fulfill me? So she bombarded me with suggestions for my finding more meaningful activities. She literally gave me a headache.
Sometimes when I talk to a woman, it's like talking to a machine. There's no compassion and no understanding because she's not really listening. She seems only to care about getting her own point across, so she talks over me and doesn't hear my response. I want a friend who listens and truly cares.
I recall being approached by a woman who wanted me to volunteer for an activity in which my daughter was involved. As we talked, I felt like I was in front of a bulldozer and about to be flattened. She didn't let me finish my thoughts. She made light of my reasons why I couldn't volunteer. And when the conversation was over, she didn't accept my “no.” She insisted that I think about it.
I looked at her questioningly and wanted to ask, “Did you hear anything that I just said?” I felt irritated after that conversation because she didn't validate my very good reason why I couldn't volunteer. What I heard from her is that we all have problems and I should just press on and accept the task. No listening, no compassion and no one I would ever consider a friend.
I can't be a friend to someone who doesn't listen because nothing makes me feel less important than not being heard. If she interrupts me to recount her problems while I'm telling her mine, then she's not concerned about me. If she's checking her phone while I'm talking or if her body language and facial expressions show no interest, then I know she's not really there. And I don't want to be there either.
I don't want a friend who agrees with me on everything. She should have her own opinion. And sometimes that opinion might be about me. I always appreciate when a friend speaks the truth in love. A true friend sharpens me. She points out where I might be wrong and leads me in a better direction. She doesn't do this in a competitive “I'm smarter than you” way, but she does it lovingly.
My friend Margene is good at this. I love our conversations because I walk away knowing myself better. Through her eyes, I see my weaknesses, my strengths and how I appear to others. She tells me when I'm headed toward disaster and when I'm on the right track. A friend who speaks the truth in love is a treasure because she keeps me out of trouble. Her advice can save me from embarrassment and regret.
It's foolish to believe that a true friend would never clash with me. A true friend is protective and she helps me to grow and learn. Sometimes that means lovingly correcting me when I'm wrong. If I knew a friend was about to do something really stupid or physically harmful, I wouldn't wait for her to ask for my advice. I would quickly and lovingly point out the harm she's headed toward. We don't have to agree with people to love them.
I want a friend that I can be myself with. When I don't feel criticized, rejected or misunderstood, the conversation is completely stress-free. That sense of relaxation and comfort is what I long for. I can't relax when I find myself holding back or not revealing what I really want to say. One of the greatest freedoms in life is the freedom to be transparent. Being able to express my true thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection or judgment is a wonderful thing and I want it.
A lack of trust is what holds me back. I cant share the details of my life with someone I don't trust. My personal information could easily become entertainment at a gossip fest. I want a friend who can keep a secret and a lunch date. A true friend earns my trust through consistent displays of loyalty over time. Trust is the foundation of friendship. Without it, the relationship offers no comfort and no reason to grow.
One way that I build trust with people is by being there for them and taking notice of them. I always felt it was important to support my family's accomplishments. I was there when my younger brother graduated from high school and when my older brother graduated from technical school. And when my sister accomplished something artistically, I was either there to see it or I congratulated her later.
Because friends are the family that I choose, I should offer them the same loyalty. I should notice and speak of their accomplishments. This lets them know that I care about their lives, their dreams, and their goals. I want a friend who does that for me too. She makes me feel appreciated by taking an interest in my life.
When I was younger and less discerning, I had a friend who was always dragging me down and holding me back? She didn't want me to change, grow or evolve. Maybe she felt threatened by my success because it made her feel like a failure. Or maybe she worried that she might get left behind. So instead of encouraging me, she would point out reasons why I shouldn't.
I want a friend who supports where I'm going and who I'm becoming. My friend, Tam, noticed when I had my first commentary published in our local newspaper. She called me to congratulate me. It meant a lot because the only other person who mentioned it was a stranger who happened to read the piece.
Encouragement motivates me. I need to surround myself with positive people because I'm easily discouraged but I'm not easily motivated. I have to force myself to get things done. So it's nice to have someone in my corner who's cheering me on. But only a woman who is at peace with herself has the confidence to encourage other women.
I've been on this earth for almost sixty years, so my observations deserve some merit. I've watched women from a distance and I've seen them up close. The one question I want to ask more than any other is this: Why do women have such a hard time loving and supporting one another? We have the same struggles but we aren't always on the same team and we are reluctant to help one another.
No greater love exists than to lay down your life to help someone. I want a friend I can turn to when I'm facing a difficult challenge. I recently read a great example of a friend who laid down her life. My Journey With Farrah: A Story of Life, Love and Friendship by Alana Stewart tells the story of a thirty-year friendship. For three of those years, Alana put her life on hold to be with her friend, Farrah, as she battled cancer.
“My life took a back seat to Farrah's battle with cancer,” Alana wrote. “I would drop everything. Leave my family and my dogs and my home, and hop on a plane at a moment's notice if she needed me.”
Farrah and Alana made many trips to Germany in search of treatments and a cure. She rationalized leaving her family because Farrah was also her family and she was fighting for her life. Alana didn't see her decision as a sacrifice. She saw it as simply being there for her friend.
“When you unselfishly do something for someone else, when you get beyond yourself, out of your head, and out of your own way, God solves your problems for you, “ Alana wrote.
I want a friend who isn't selfish but has a willingness to sacrifice and serve others. I would sacrifice my own comfort to nurture a worthy friendship, but I don't have many friends who would drop everything to help me. That kind of friendship is rare.
By now you're probably thinking that I'm pretty demanding when it comes to friendship. Maybe you're wondering if my expectations are even attainable in today's busy world. How many women have even one friend with the qualities I described? I guess the reason why my expectations are so high is because I have experienced the kind of friendship that I'm talking about. And once you've had that, anything less just leaves you wanting more.