Thursday, May 15, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
A TRUE FRIEND IS HARD TO FIND
I recently had my first commentary published in our local newspaper. I thought I'd share it with my blog followers. This is the original essay before it was edited.
By Danelle Carvell
I have yet to surpass 100 friends on
Facebook. The number of friends some people acquire amazes me, but it
doesn't really impress me. In today's culture a true friend is hard
to find.
Although Facebook friends can be true
friends, most of my friends on Facebook are people I rarely see.
I
can't have the same relationship with a Facebook friend that I have
with a friend whom I see in person. I can't know a friend's heart
through a computer.
Time, presence,
and depth of discussion determine different types of friendships. I
have friends, best friends, and Facebook friends. Meaningful,
heartfelt discussion nourishes true friendship, but I rarely have
those discussions on Facebook.
Also, there's a
certain human touch that's missing on Facebook because ironically
there's no face-to- face conversation. Without hearing tone of voice
or seeing body language and facial expressions, I can't really know
that person's intentions. That's why comments are easily
misunderstood on Facebook.
A good laugh, a
good recipe and good things to know can be found daily on Facebook.
It's a great place for business owners to advertise and for people to
share events, news and what's happening in people's lives. It's an
entertaining, informative place.
But Facebook isn't
always a friendly place. I've seen heated disputes develop on the
home page for all to read. On Facebook we can lecture people without
being in their presence. We say things that we wouldn't say to them
in person. When I received what felt like a lecture, I deleted a
friend from my list.
So many questions
go unanswered on social networking sites. Can I trust this person?
Does she have my best interests at heart or does she just want to
know my business? Is she dependable? Would she help me if I needed
help? The Facebook friendship is too casual to expect those answers.
But true
friendship has no uncertainties. I feel safe to be myself without
judgment or criticism. My true friends stand by me in good times and
bad. They're willing to sacrifice their own wants to nurture our
friendship. They're unselfish givers who are patient, kind, humble,
and protective.
Friends have come and gone in my life.
As I get older, as I experience and learn more, I continue to raise
the bar on friendship. Some of the friends I had twenty years ago
wouldn't be my friends today. But everything I expect from a friend
is something I would offer to her. I've learned that true friendship
requires certain essential ingredients:
Trust I can't share the details
of my life with someone I don't trust. I've had friends who only
pretended to be friends until I discovered that they weren't
trustworthy. Trust is the foundation of true friendship. It can only
be earned by consistent displays of loyalty over time.
Listening
Some people seem incapable of listening. Their lives are filled with
distractions. While I'm talking, she'll answer her cell phone. Or
she'll cut me off mid-sentence as if I have nothing important to say.
Listening makes people feel important.
Validation Feeling
important is at the heart of what I want from a friend.
I want someone who makes me a priority. I want someone in my corner
who's cheering me on. A true friend always validates the friendship
with positive words and actions.
Communication No
friendship can last without good communication. I want my friends to
tell me if I hurt them. They should be secure in our friendship and
able to express their feelings without fear or hesitation.
Misunderstandings and hurt feelings are often a result of not talking
about it.
Know when to say nothing We
simply can't blurt out everything that crosses our minds. Yet some
people do, and they claim that they're just being honest. But blatant
honesty isn't always the best choice when it comes to friendship.
Encourage, don't lecture I
remember the hurt I felt after one friend's suggestion that I “get
a backbone” and another friend's harsh advice about a habit I
should change. I felt like a child being scolded by a parent.
Encouragement motivates people. Lectures feel like spankings.
Be careful with advice Unrequested
advice can feel like a lecture. Sometimes we do need to step in and
offer guidance, but I've learned to be cautious here. Too much
advising can cause tension between friends that isn't easily erased.
Look past actions, consider the
motive Sometimes people do
things for all the right reasons, but still someone gets hurt. When
we look past a friend's actions and consider why she did or said
something, we might discover that her intentions were innocent.
Forgive Prideful
people have a hard time forgiving, but without forgiveness, the
friendship will end because people are fallible. We all say and do
things that could hurt others. True friends give each other the
benefit of the doubt.
Friendship can be
found anywhere and at any point in our lives. One of my best friends
today was my best friend in high school. We recently reconnected
after years of being out of touch. Spending time with her again makes
me realize why I liked her so much in high school. She's easy to be
with. I love her sense of humor. She's a caring person who does the
most thoughtful things. We enjoy each other's company.
Sometimes friends
come into our lives like an unexpected gift, but other times we have
to look for them. Seven years ago, when I was pulled out of the
workplace by health problems, I felt isolated. Everyone around me
seemed to have people close by on whom they could rely, but my life
felt empty. I needed a support system, so I started a friendship
group.
We call it girls
night. Once a month, the five of us take turns making dinner at our
homes. We catch up on all that's happened since we last saw each
other. We laugh, sometimes there are tears. My friends are still
thanking me for starting the group six years ago. If I hadn't reached
out to them, we would have missed out on so many wonderful nights of
friendship.
Women just need to
talk. They need someone to listen when the stresses of life hit hard.
Studies have shown depression to be less prevalent in women who
maintain many close friendships. When I'm having a bad week, I can't
keep my feelings and emotions bottled up. I either need to have a
good cry or a good talk with a friend. Crying makes my eyes red and
swollen, so I prefer to talk about it.
Like any living thing, friendship needs to be nurtured. It needs
time, love and face to face interaction.
Time is often our
excuse for neglecting friendships. Women are so busy today that they
put off their friends. But without time to visit and care for one
another, we can't build real friendships. Women either choose to
isolate themselves or they allow it to happen.
We've become a
nation of rushed loners who only have time for personal achievement
and self-fulfillment. Women work outside the home then spend another
40 hours a week doing household chores. They run their children from
one activity to another. Are we settling for superficial
relationships that have no closeness, no love? Can we blame busyness
or have we just given up on true friendship?
Nurturing friendship is difficult in a
culture where women have grown to become competitive instead of
supportive. Generations ago, when most women were homemakers and
didn't have careers, they lived the same style of life. They had the
same struggles and could relate to each other in a supportive way as
they accomplished daily tasks related to the home.
But today, homemakers and stay-at-home
moms have come under attack. Some career women don't respect
homemakers. I have a friend who avoids certain women because they
make comments that suggest she lives a privileged life. She's a
stay-at-home wife with no children, but very active in her church and
community. She's using her time and talents to help others without
receiving a paycheck. But our confused society believes she must
apologize for being “just” a homemaker.
Why can't women support one another's
decisions? Why can't they encourage each other? Because we live in a
culture that encourages female competition. Every day we're bombarded
with messages that make us question our self-worth as women. Beauty
is highly praised. Financial success is admired. Motherhood and
homemaking are demeaned. Women don't feel worthy unless they are
accomplishing profitable work with a flawless smile, a knockout
body, clear skin, and fabulous hair.
I don't enjoy the company of
competitive women, but they seem to be everywhere- in the workplace,
the school, even in the church. A friendship with someone like that
would be nothing but stress. Why do women need to be the best at
everything they do? Why can't they relax and work together without
all the drama? Something inside them is perplexed. They have no
peace.
Rare is the woman who is at peace with
herself and that's what it takes to be a true friend. In our culture,
we judge others by how they look, what they do, how busy they are,
and the nice things they have. But a true friend wouldn't do that.
She wouldn't care if I had a career or stayed at home, if I lived in
a simple home or a mansion. Nor would it matter to her if I was
homely or gorgeous, skinny or overweight. A true friend ignores the
shallow standards of our culture and loves me for who I am and who I
dream of being. She offers love, not competition.
I rarely feel the love from an email, a
text, or a Facebook post. Our modern ways of communicating have put
more distance between us. People avoid face-to-face contact.
Employees walk past the boss's office and send him a text. Family
members text each other while they're all at home. My daughter gets
together with her friends and they sit silently with their eyes on
their phones instead of each other. What's the point of getting
together, I wonder. True friendship happens without technology.
I've learned a lot
about friendship, but I still make mistakes. I laugh in awkward
situations and my laughter can be insulting. My passion about a
subject can come across as pride. I fumble with words and say the
wrong things. My personality quirks can be misunderstood. I want a
friend who knows me well enough to see who I really am. I want her to
know my heart.
The condition of a
woman's heart determines whether she'll be a true friend or not. In
God's word, we are called to build each other up (1 Thess. 5:11) and
bear one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2). But in today's culture, too
many girls and women would rather tear each other down. And bearing
one another's burdens takes time, so we ignore those around us who
are suffering.
I often wonder how
many potential friends I walk past every day. How many people does
God put in my path that I don't talk to. I guess my reluctance to
reach out to people is another reason why a true friend is hard to
find.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
A CHRISTIAN VIEW ON VACCINES
As Christians, we need to take a big picture look at vaccines. The
Bible tells us that blood is sacred. If we believe this to be true then
why do we so quickly inject our new born babies with ingredients that
most new parents know nothing about. The Hepatitis B vaccine is
totally unnecessary for our children. The only way they get this
disease is through dirty needles from drug use and sexual contact.
Neither of which apply to the child. Would it surprise you to know
that some vaccines are created on the tissue of aborted babies? It’s
true.
http://steppingstonesliving.com/vaccines-about-the-blood/
http://steppingstonesliving.com/vaccines-about-the-blood/
Friday, May 9, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
COMPARING THE BOOK TO THE BIBLE
Heaven Is For Real is the story of little Colton Burpo who came down with stomach pains and a high fever. His appendix has burst and he goes in for emergency surgery. While on the operating table, little Colton has a vision where he is taken to Heaven and “meets Jesus”. When he awakes he tells that story, as well as conversations he says he heard while being operated on. His father declares this to be “a miracle”, and the book was written. Here now are the major claims of the book compared to the bible. Please read and decide for yourself.
Click link below:
http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=19613
Click link below:
http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=19613
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Why Say No to an Unnecessary Root Canal Procedure
My dentist tried very hard to talk me into a root canal a while back. Fortunately, I remembered what I had read about the procedure and refused it. But dentists can be very aggressive when pushing root canals. Read this and watch the video so you're prepared if you ever have the procedure suggested to you.
Why Say No to an Unnecessary Root Canal Procedure
Why Say No to an Unnecessary Root Canal Procedure
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
POSITIVE WORDS ARE LIFE-GIVING, LIFE-CHANGING
"Anxious hearts are very heavy, but a word of encouragement does wonders." -The Bible
Today I'm sending a universal letter of encouragement because I think that people spend way too much time criticizing and way too little time encouraging the people around them.
I watched a movie last night on Netflix titled The Letter Writer. It was about an old man named Sam who lived in a nursing home and wrote encouraging letters. He then chose names and addresses out of the phone book to send them to. Sometimes he would write cards and then hand them out to people as he walked around. If he got the feeling that you needed encouragement when you walked past him, you got a card.
One of his encouraging letters was sent to a troubled teenage girl and it changed her life. Although he didn't know her, Sam's words touched Maggie's heart because they were positive words. When all she heard was criticism from the people who claimed to love her, Maggie read the words in Sam's letter with heartfelt joy. Finally someone was telling her that she was worth something and that she had a bright future.
I couldn't get through this movie without crying. The lesson in it is something we all need to be reminded of. There is great power in encouragement. Positive words can be life-changing. Do you speak words that motivate, compliment, and uplift, or are you more likely to dwell on the negative and voice criticism? Would it hurt to notice the good things about people and tell them?
Sam knew the power of speaking life-building words. He sent encouragement out into the world everyday. And his words changed people for the better. If everyone worked that hard at building people up, we would live in a different kind of society.
Sometimes we do need to point out the negative ruts that we get into. We do need to point out wrong attitudes so they can be corrected. We can't always be focusing on good things because bad attitudes do exist. But when our lives are over, our biggest regrets will be the positive words we didn't say. No one ever regrets on their death bed that they didn't pound someone harder with criticism.
If I would ask you, who do you know that needs encouragement, someone will immediately come to mind. What can you do today to bring encouragement to a heavy heart?
Today I'm sending a universal letter of encouragement because I think that people spend way too much time criticizing and way too little time encouraging the people around them.
I watched a movie last night on Netflix titled The Letter Writer. It was about an old man named Sam who lived in a nursing home and wrote encouraging letters. He then chose names and addresses out of the phone book to send them to. Sometimes he would write cards and then hand them out to people as he walked around. If he got the feeling that you needed encouragement when you walked past him, you got a card.
One of his encouraging letters was sent to a troubled teenage girl and it changed her life. Although he didn't know her, Sam's words touched Maggie's heart because they were positive words. When all she heard was criticism from the people who claimed to love her, Maggie read the words in Sam's letter with heartfelt joy. Finally someone was telling her that she was worth something and that she had a bright future.
I couldn't get through this movie without crying. The lesson in it is something we all need to be reminded of. There is great power in encouragement. Positive words can be life-changing. Do you speak words that motivate, compliment, and uplift, or are you more likely to dwell on the negative and voice criticism? Would it hurt to notice the good things about people and tell them?
Sam knew the power of speaking life-building words. He sent encouragement out into the world everyday. And his words changed people for the better. If everyone worked that hard at building people up, we would live in a different kind of society.
Sometimes we do need to point out the negative ruts that we get into. We do need to point out wrong attitudes so they can be corrected. We can't always be focusing on good things because bad attitudes do exist. But when our lives are over, our biggest regrets will be the positive words we didn't say. No one ever regrets on their death bed that they didn't pound someone harder with criticism.
If I would ask you, who do you know that needs encouragement, someone will immediately come to mind. What can you do today to bring encouragement to a heavy heart?
Monday, April 21, 2014
Always Learning: A Huge Loss To Society
I'm not against women working outside the home when they must do it to survive. But sometimes women choose a grand lifestyle that requires two incomes and that's why they have to work. Then they look down on homemakers who don't take vacations, live in smaller homes, drive used cars, clip coupons, cook from scratch, wear second-hand clothes and make many sacrifices to be at home with their children. We should be supportive of any woman's decision to put her husband and children ahead of making money. Stay-at-home moms and homemakers should be admired not criticized. That's what I'm against--the criticism they receive and the way they are demeaned in today's culture. The article below says it beautifully.
Always Learning: A Huge Loss To Society: Those of us who have chosen to be keepers at home can barely stay home because of the dear senior saints who need to be taken to the do...
Always Learning: A Huge Loss To Society: Those of us who have chosen to be keepers at home can barely stay home because of the dear senior saints who need to be taken to the do...
Friday, April 18, 2014
ONE OF MANY CANCER CURES THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT
"Successfully treating cancer patients with a natural substance would
mean the loss of billions of dollars every year for Big Pharma, who
still advocate the use of toxic chemotherapy drugs against cancer. The
only way to prevent this is for the large pharmaceutical companies to
pressure the FDA to ban any natural medicines that have the potential to
replace expensive cancer therapies."
http://beforeitsnews.com/health/2014/04/vitamin-b17-known-as-laetrile-kills-cervical-and-prostate-cancer-available-over-the-counter-2531198.html
http://beforeitsnews.com/health/2014/04/vitamin-b17-known-as-laetrile-kills-cervical-and-prostate-cancer-available-over-the-counter-2531198.html
Thursday, April 17, 2014
HOW MEGA BANKS DESTROYED AMERICA
The newly released story on Salon is called “We are in great danger: Ex-banker details how mega-banks destroyed America” and it’s a story that should not be overlooked considering the source is ex-Goldman Sachs employee Nomi Prins who also worked for Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers and Chase Manhattan Bank. Prins also warns in the brand new video below with Greg Hunter that the financial collapse ALREADY should have happened…and the hours until it does are passing quickly…
“It no longer matters who sits in the White House,” former Goldman Sachs managing director Prins writes in her new book “All the Presidents’ Bankers: The Hidden Alliances That Drive American Power.” “Presidents no longer even try to garner banker support for population-friendly policies, and bankers operate oblivious to the needs of national economies. There is no counterbalance to their power.”Watch video at link below:
http://beforeitsnews.com/economics-and-politics/2014/04/ex-banker-we-are-in-great-danger-2464060.html
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Monday, April 14, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
Activist Post: 7th Grader Suspended and Given Psychological Evaluation for Twirling a Pencil #news
Beyond ridiculous and bordering on insanity, pencil twirling is now a sign of danger that must be investigated.
Activist Post: 7th Grader Suspended and Given Psychological Evaluation for Twirling a Pencil #news
Activist Post: 7th Grader Suspended and Given Psychological Evaluation for Twirling a Pencil #news
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Activist Post: Recall: Something Even Nastier than Usual Lurks in Tyson Chicken Nuggets #news
I know some chicken nugget lovers who might want to read this. I just bought a bag of these things. Probably the last bag.
Activist Post: Recall: Something Even Nastier than Usual Lurks in Tyson Chicken Nuggets #news
Activist Post: Recall: Something Even Nastier than Usual Lurks in Tyson Chicken Nuggets #news
Friday, April 4, 2014
MONEY FROM NOTHING AND DEINDUSTRY KILLING AMERICA
"The trade deficit is one of the biggest reasons for the steady decline of the U.S. economy, but many Americans don't even understand what it is. Basically, we are buying far more stuff from the rest of the world than they are buying from us. That means that far more money is constantly leaving the country than is coming into the country. In order to keep the game going, we have to go to the people that we bought all of that stuff from and ask them to lend our money back to us. Or lately, we just have the Federal Reserve create new money out of thin air. This is called "quantitative easing". Our current debt-fueled lifestyle is dependent on this cycle continuing. In order to live like we do, we must consume far more wealth than we produce. If someday we are forced to only live on the wealth that we create, it will require a massive adjustment in our standard of living. We have become great at consuming wealth but not so great at creating it. But as a result of running gigantic trade deficits year after year, we have lost tens of thousands of businesses, millions upon millions of jobs, and America is being deindustrialized at a staggering pace."
http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/archives/shocking-facts-about-the-deindustrialization-of-america-that-everyone-should-know
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Activist Post: New Video Exposes Smart Meter Tyranny #news
"We have covered stories in the U.S. of utility companies staging literal home invasions to install meters on people's property. One Houston-area homeowner, Thelma Taormina,
was forced to defend her property and her constitutional rights when a
utility worker bypassed her "No Trespassing and No Smart Meters" sign,
then started a scuffle to install a Smart Meter. This is precisely why
the word "tyranny" used in the title is not mere hyperbole."
Activist Post: New Video Exposes Smart Meter Tyranny #news
was forced to defend her property and her constitutional rights when a
utility worker bypassed her "No Trespassing and No Smart Meters" sign,
then started a scuffle to install a Smart Meter. This is precisely why
the word "tyranny" used in the title is not mere hyperbole."
Activist Post: New Video Exposes Smart Meter Tyranny #news
Activist Post: Are Fed Up States Finally Dumping Common Core? #news
"The frustration is spreading from schools to homes, as parents across
the nation are posting copies of their children’s ridiculous Common Core
homework all over social media sites. Here are just a few examples The
Daily Caller has reported on: ..."
Activist Post: Are Fed Up States Finally Dumping Common Core? #news
Activist Post: Are Fed Up States Finally Dumping Common Core? #news
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Heavenly signs suddenly grab attention (Watch trailer)
The Blood Moons will appear this month. The Bible tells us that there will be signs in the Heavens in the last days.
“And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring; men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken” (Luke 21:25-26).
Heavenly signs suddenly grab attention
“And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring; men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken” (Luke 21:25-26).
Heavenly signs suddenly grab attention
AN EPIDEMIC OF PERVERSITY TARGETING CHILDREN
"Where are all
the parents? Is there anyone left with even ‘some’ morals? Why aren’t
more people standing against such an incredibily disgusting perversion?
Why are children being sexualized? Believe it or not, there are ‘sick in
the head’ morons who believe things like this are ‘cute’ and
‘innocent’!"
http://beforeitsnews.com/prophecy/2014/03/shocking-and-unthinkable-satanically-sexualized-kids-its-worse-than-you-might-think-an-epidemic-of-perversity-is-spreading-jaw-dropping-video-footagedisturbing-photos-2459956.html
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