GIRL'S NIGHT

                                                     
My house was filled with chatter last night.  My husband calls it a hen party.  We call it girl's night.  This month was my turn to be hostess, and I'm always amazed at how I must keep moving to get it all done.  I had prepared the spiced pumpkin soup and bread pudding the day before, and still I was constantly on the move the day my guests arrived.  It was a good kind of busy because these girls deserve to be pampered.  I even made a trip to the local Friday Farmer's Market to buy fresh apples.  They were dipped in caramel and given as gifts when it came time for our goodbye hugs.  

For five years now I've been part of a circle of friends who meet once a month to share a meal and catch up on our lives.  Six women sitting around a table laughing, talking about our kids, our work, and our struggles.  At times things get personal.  Tears are shed and we feel free to let them flow.  We're among friends.  This is what life's about. 

                                                         

Last night a few tears were shed when I suggested that we focus on really getting to know each other.  I had a list of questions and a sand timer so everyone would get a chance to answer.  The sand timer didn't work.  But the question brought out many things we had been holding inside, things that needed to be shared.  

It took us an hour to get around the table with a single question:  "What was the most challenging thing you've ever done?"  One woman shared the struggle of getting through college and now wondering why she can't find that job she imagined at the end of it. She wonders if she wasted a lot of time and money and she feels like she's in limbo.  She questions where she is in life and where she's going.

Three of us gave the same answer.  Our biggest challenge was going through divorce and facing motherhood as a single parent.  That was my answer.  I shared the incredible loneliness I felt for two years after my divorce.  My friend across the table in front of me agreed and admitted she still feels that loneliness every day.  That's when the tears came.

                                                           
By the end of the night we came to the conclusion that women do need connections with other women.  And when we don't have those connections our marriages suffer.  I recalled feeling lonely and isolated in my first marriage after my son was born.  I felt a deep longing to be part of a woman's group, to have a place where I could share the struggles of being a new mom and a new wife.  Because I didn't have anyone to fill that need, I depended on my husband for emotional support.  It was a role he couldn't fill.

I'm so glad I had the courage to ask these women to be my circle of friends.  They fill that void in my life that was put there by God.  He created us to need each other.  He created women to need mentors. Although God is our greatest source of strength, he knows we need more.  We need human contact too.  Titus 2 offers a biblical model for women mentoring women.  Our relationships should be interpersonal within the church and within our daily lives.

I think of Mary and how she received such comfort and encouragement from Elizabeth after learning that she was pregnant. Mary was filled with uncertainties and she needed the wisdom of a godly woman.  Elizabeth put Mary at ease.  She calmed her fears and gave her encouragement.  She offered understanding.  Without Elizabeth, Mary would have remained in a stressed state.  But after talking to her friend she felt more confident, stronger, and could see her future from a better perspective.

Next post I'll share the story of what inspired me to start a woman's group and how it all began.  Maybe you'll be inspired to start your own group.  Below is the recipe for Fruity Bread Pudding.  They liked the pumpkin soup, but dessert was a bigger hit.

                                                         

                                      Fruity Bread Pudding 
                        (from Cooking Light, Coombe Books, Ltd.) 


3/4 Cup Raisins
3/4 Cup Currants
3/4 Cup Golden Raisins
3/4 Cup Prunes chopped
Finely grated rind and juice of one orange
8 thick slices of whole wheat bread, crusts removed
1/4 Cup butter softened
1/2 Cup brown sugar
1 1/4 Cups whole milk
2 eggs lightly beaten
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cardamon


1. Put all the dried fruit, orange rind and orange juice into a large bowl and mix well

2. Put about half of the mixed fruit into the base of a lightly buttered ovenproof serving dish

3. Spread the bread with butter and cut each slice into squares 

4. Arrange half of the bread squares over the fruit in the base of the serving dish 

5. Sprinkle with half of the brown sugar, then repeat the layers once again, finishing with a layer of sugar


6. Whisk together the milk, eggs, nutmeg, cardamon, and cinnamon.  Pour the mixture over the bread pudding and allow to stand for one hour. 


7. Bake the pudding in a preheated oven, 375 degrees for about 35-40 minutes or until crisp on top but still soft at the bottom.  Serve hot or at room temperature.  Serves 6