WHY LOVE FAILS

Love is patient.  Love is kind.  It does not envy.  It does not boast.  It is not proud.  It is not rude.  It is not self-seeking.  It is not easily angered.  It keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -
 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I don't believe that we are born with the ability to love.  Love must be learned.  The kind of love that is mentioned in the Bible in the above verse does not come naturally.  If you don't have a reverence for God, you can't love the way the Bible describes.  Until we submit to the authority of God we simply don't have the power to love others as God commands.  Love requires dying to self, and we can't do this on our own.  We need the Holy Spirit's help.

It's human nature to think of ourselves first, to look out for number one.   It's human nature to say, " What's in it for me?"  But love is not self-seeking.  Actually, love is serving others and considering others more important than ourselves.  Few of us are really able to do that consistently.  I get off track myself.  There are times when I write something and my mind becomes troubled.  That's the Holy Spirit telling me my words were selfish, prideful, or insensitive.  So I go back and edit my words until I feel okay with the final draft.  Without the Holy Spirit to keep me in check, I'm just not capable of biblical love.

Self-seeking love is the only love many people are capable of.  And I believe this is the reason so many marriages end in divorce.  Couples can't really love one another.  They are too self-seeking in their relationships, and it doesn't take long for one or both spouses to become unhappy with the way they are being treated.  If we want a relationship that lasts, we must become a servant to our spouse.  We must put the other person's needs ahead of our own.And that is not an easy task.  Few are up for the challenge.

But think about the payoff.  When both people are putting aside their selfish desires and serving one another, then both are on the receiving end of unselfish love.  The wife is content.  The husband is content.  Neither one feels like they are in second place.  This is the kind of love God planned for us to display as his children, but how much of it do you see when you look around?  I see a world that thinks it's all about me.  And that is why relationships don't work. 

Selfishness, pride laziness, insensitivity and anything else that kills our ability to love must be put away from us.  We can't do this difficult task without God's help.  If we want successful relationships, we must start with a reverence for God.  We must invite the Holy Spirit to work in our lives.  We need to be held accountable.  Someone has to keep us in check.  Our self-seeking human nature will take over unless we have the love of Christ in our hearts.  If you look at those who have loving, successful relationships, you will most likely see a reverence for God at the core of that relationship.  They are tapped into a power source that helps them die to self and live to serve others.  Selfishness never brought anyone happiness.  The greatest joy happens when we love unselfishly as God commands.  He created us.  He knows what works.