LIFE SLAPPED AND SAID GROW UP

My daughter, whom I hope will learn from my mistakes

For all you aspiring writers out there, Ladies Home Journal is holding an essay contest that could make you $3,000 richer.  This is what I've been wracking my brain over for the past several months.  I have to write about my own personal growth, you know the things I've learned in the past 40 plus years. (Next year I won't be able to say that because I will be 50).

So I guess one thing I've learned is that age isn't so important.  Even though I live in a culture that worships youth, I can be honest about my age.  Even though my chin and neck are starting to do that middle age thing and I've started wearing glasses to cover saggy eyelids, I still have much to offer the world.  There's more to life than tight skin.

In fact, getting older almost comes as a relief.  In my younger days I put a lot of pressure on myself to look great all the time.  It's nice to let go of some of that.  I still want to look like I care, but skinny is no longer in my vocabulary, and I'm trying to let go of all that "every hair in place" obsession with perfection that can drive a girl crazy.

I really think we need to get over all this hoopla about our looks.  People are more than an outer shell.  But getting to know the inside takes time and effort.  Isn't it so much easier to glance at the shell and decide from there who's worthy.  Easier and much more shallow.  I've learned to look deeper than skin.  And I've learned not to spend time with people who can't do that.

Something else I've learned is how insane it is to always be wanting more stuff.  Americans are obsessed with stuff.  They trade their peace for everything they desire before they have the money to pay for it and then spend sleepless nights worrying about their ever increasing debt.  I've watched friends blow an entire paycheck just to have the latest ultra-cool handbag.  They'd spend two weeks pay on a designer bag that only serves to impress people they don't know or care about.  A month later that same handbag will be available at Goodwill for five bucks.  If I cared about impressing people I don't know or care about, I'd be tempted to buy it.

I thank God for all the things I've learned.  One of my hardest lessons was realizing that life is not all about me.  People weren't put on this earth to make me happy.  In fact I shouldn't expect anyone to make me happy.   It seems I spent much of my life being mad at people for letting me down.  I was always waiting for the next big disappointment so I could shoot my mouth off about how much that person hurt me.  Honestly, I don't know how some people could tolerate my company in my younger days.  I seemed to be in a perpetual state of anger, hurt, and disappointment.  I wish someone would have slapped me and told me to grow up.

But I guess life did slap me many times and that's what brought me to my senses.  I wouldn't trade any of those hurts because the pain is what made me grow up.  You can only whine for so long before realizing that the common denominator is you...