NOTHING MATTERS MORE

I've been feeling nostalgic lately. Thinking about my childhood and how life has changed since then. I guess turning fifty has prompted me to look back instead of forward. Getting older has its advantages. I've grown out of all those silly stages when we fret about what people think and need to be liked by everyone. Confidence is one of the best things that come with age.

But the passing years also bring other changes that aren't so pleasant. I wish I had the flexibility and strength I had in  my teen years. Gymnastics and all the movements involved in baton twirling kept me strong and springy. Today I could never do a cartwheel without later needing a visit with Dr. Allen, my chiropractor. In fact, a cartwheel would probably do permanent damage to my disc that decided to bulge a year ago and still hasn't healed   

A week ago, my husband rested his chin on top of my head while watching TV and moments later I was in pain and needed to see Doc Allen. My husband couldn't believe that something so simple could mess up my neck. It made us both realize how fragile I am right now. I told Doc Allen that I feel like a bag of loose crunchy bones. He explained that everything is unstable right now and it will take a long time to heal.

Despite all the aches and pains I have now, I wouldn't want to go back to my teen years. It's nice to remember those days, but honestly I'm more content to be fifty. Life as a teenager was pretty unstable too. I remember being my daughter's age, fourteen. Life was filled with uncertainties and longings. What would I do with my life when I graduated? Who would I marry? Is this boy worth my time? What will I wear to school tomorrow? 

My whole life stood in front of me and I had no idea what direction I should take, where I would end up, or how I would get there. Today, at fifty, I feel more settled and I like that feeling. I was more stable physically as a teenager, but less stable mentally. Today I'm stable mentally but not physically. And if given a choice, I prefer to be mentally strong, even if physically weak.

I think we make life much more difficult than it has to be when we fret about fitting in and being liked and having all the things our culture tells us we should have. We put pressure on ourselves to keep up with what everyone else has. We do way too much comparing and we end up feeling depressed. because of it. 

Being mentally strong means ignoring all the opinions and pressures of our culture and doing what pleases God.  When we stop living to impress others and start living for God, we are set free from all the silly concerns and fears that plagued us when we were younger and didn't know any better.

The thing I miss the least about being younger is the mental instability. I had no confidence. I was easily swayed by the opinions of others and didn't have the courage to be a leader. I was a follower because I worried that someone wouldn't like the way I took charge. I played it safe and accomplished very little. People can accomplish so much more when they are set free from all that. 

It seems we have our eyes on the wrong things in life. There's no contentment in going after what the world says we should have. Why can't we learn to be content with less stuff? Why do we put ourselves in debt to impress others? 

It really is silly how we allow ourselves to be sucked in by the empty messages of our culture. If people would just accept that the emptiness they feel is a lack of God in their lives, they could save a whole lot of money. Instead of saving to buy the next big thing, they could save their own lives and grab hold of the only thing that will last for eternity. 

Fifty years flew by like nothing for me. I realize how short life really is. And I'm grateful that I'm settled. My back is unstable, but my life is not. I know exactly where I'm going. I know what really matters. I don't get sidetracked chasing after meaningless pursuits like being popular and having what everyone else has. I don't care if people like me. I don't fret about what I'm wearing tomorrow. God likes me, and nothing matters more.