FESS UP TO YOUR MESS UP

By Danelle Carvell

                                                    
                                                    

Sometimes the only way to get the people we love back into our lives is to fess up and apologize.

I wrote a post last summer titled, We all Have Big Mouth Moments. The last sentence in that post was..."Sometimes the best response to someone's big mouth is to extend grace and let it pass, because we all have big mouth moments." 

I've had it on the back burner to write a part 2 to that post because there are times when we should not overlook a person's words or actions. Sometimes the right thing to do is to call out the bad behavior and to stand your ground in doing so. 

What actually inspired me to write that post last summer was my own big mouth moment, and it was so bad that I hate to bring it up again. I wrote the post to inspire forgiveness when people mess up with their words. But I knew that my big mouth moment could not be swept under the rug. What came out of my mouth was not a misunderstanding or a slip of the tongue. It was a major mistake that was extremely hurtful. And I knew I had to face the music. 

We live in a culture that has become very good at making excuses for bad behavior. People don't want to admit their mistakes and they are too easily given a pass by a society that no longer acknowledges what's right and wrong. If you do have the courage to call someone out, you will most likely be met with opposition because no one wants to rock the boat today and no one wants to confront a bully. 

There's nothing wrong with wanting to think the best of people and wanting to look for possible reasons why they act the way they do. It's wise to give people the benefit of the doubt. But even if someone is under stress mentally, physically or emotionally, that is not an excuse to mistreat people. Their own personal stresses do not give people the right to be hostile to others. 

I recently had to apologize to someone for the way I spoke to him during a very stressful situation. I was at my wits end with worrying about someone's well-being. I was being pumped full of worst case scenarios if I didn't handle the situation properly. And I was severely lacking sleep. So I snapped.

It took me a while to realize that what I needed to do was admit that I messed up and offer a real apology. And that is what finally brought healing and forgiveness. If I had ignored the whole thing or offered some dumb excuse without an apology, then I would not have received forgiveness and restored the relationship. 

Why is it so hard for us to admit our mistakes? Why is it so hard to say, "That was wrong. I should not have done that. I'm sorry" How many relationships could be restored if we could just humble ourselves and fess up to our mess ups? 

THE PERKS OF LIVING BY FAITH (part 2)

                                        

I believe that faith brought these two together. And they are perfect for each other. The people God brings into your life is one of the perks of living by faith. 

                                    

As I sit down to write this, the topic feels overwhelming because there is so much to say. My faith has grown in the past few years because my life has changed since Covid. After being fired from my job at the library in Lykens for refusing to wear a mask, my husband suggested that I retire. 

The whole Covid thing led me to seek God more than ever before, partially because I was seeking truth, and truth will always lead you to God. I also had more time to spend reading the Bible and in prayer. Getting close to God takes time, and I think that is why many people put Him on a shelf and don't develop the relationship with Jesus that would transform their lives.

Living by faith is a way of life that creates your best possible life. My last post explained the major reasons why we should live by faith. In this post I will focus on the rewards of living by faith. 

Faith gives you peace. And everyone wants peace. The world is a chaotic place filled with people who will stress you out. If I didn't have my faith, I would certainly look for other ways to cope with the stress of this world because the past three years have brought an incredible amount of mental, physical and emotional stress. 

I know people who fill the void in their lives with unhealthy comforts. They are false comforts that actually do more damage than good. They seem to help, but the comfort they bring is short-lived. And relying on these false comforts for a long period of time can do damage to their brains and their bodies. It can also damage their relationships. 

I have seen people do major damage to their relationships because they rely on false comforts instead of taking their problems to God and trusting Him to bring answers and much-needed relief. God recently showed me that I was relying on a false comfort a little too much. And I had to make some changes.

So one of the perks of living by faith is the fact that the closer you are to God, the more he speaks to you, the more he guides you, and the more he blesses you. God wants you to live your best life, but you can't create your best life without Him. 

God gives us a power that we simply do not have alone. Since I've grown closer to God and my faith has increased, I find that I don't have to try so hard. All I have to do now is allow the power of God to enable me to do the things he calls me to do. 

I expect to be inspired each day. That inspiration helps me to write. It helps me to find the answers I need when I have a problem. It gives me the ideas I need when I'm being creative. I walk into a room and I expect God's favor to be there. How many times has he seated me beside just the right person when I walked into a room full of strangers? 

The perks of living by faith are too many to count. Life becomes an adventure. And part of that adventure is watching yourself change. I find myself having better instincts because I'm guided by the Holy Spirit. I sense things that other people don't sense. I see serious wrongs that other people toss off as no big deal. I'm able to avoid people and places that are not good for me. In my younger days, I didn't have that Holy-Spirit-led discernment, so my bad decisions brought me one heartache after another. 

Living by faith gives you a spirit of truth that guides you into all truth. You will have an inward conviction (a gut feeling) about everything and everyone you encounter. You will walk into a room and get a bad feeling if something bad is about to happen. You will sense that a certain movie is not something you or your children should be watching. It's like walking around with spiritual radar that can detect everything and everyone that's harmful.

God's protection is upon those who seek Him. And those who delight in Him are given the desires of their hearts. The blessings of living by faith become more evident to me each day. 

I recently was offered a free vacation at a time when I desperately needed to get away. I didn't even have to drive there. I just sat in the passenger seat and ate nuts. When we got there, we couldn't get into our room because the office door was locked. It was a time share motel and our key had been locked in an outdoor vault. We did not know the lock combination. 

Within minutes of our realizing the bad situation we were in because we were cold and tired, two people called to us from the street and asked if we needed help. This couple came up the elevator and walked over to the lock box, punched in a combination of numbers and inside was an envelope with my friend's name on it and the key to our room. I asked them if they have wings because I knew they were sent there to help us. 

Life is just so much better and so much easier when you live by faith. I've been given an amazing talent and the ability to share my stories so I can encourage people. I believe that God wanted me to retire because He had other plans for me. And I know those plans involve much more than writing. I will soon step into something bigger. I know that because I have a gut feeling that my life is about to change, probably some time this year.

Getting close to God has made me less selfish. I find myself with more empathy for people. I have a greater desire to serve others and to offer my time and attention when someone needs help. I have an easier time apologizing when I need to. I've learned that a good way to determine someone's faith and closeness to God is to look at how easily they can offer a real apology. 

Living by faith allows you to read people and situations with divine accuracy. Faith brings divine appointments with people who can help you. Getting close to God makes you the best person you can be. And your goodness will attract the best people. Those people become your friends or maybe your spouse. Faith moves the mountains in your life and brings you peace. Faith brings health and blessings. 

So why would anyone want to live without faith? From what I see, the people living without faith are prideful and stubborn. They think that they can handle life without God. Or they see faith as a weakness. But everyone I know who rejects God has a very messy life. They encounter one problem after another. They have no peace. And their lives appear to be void of blessings. I have yet to see a faithless person who is truly happy. Instead they seem lost, lonely and lifeless. 

I was once a person who did not live by faith, so I am qualified to attest to the difference faith makes. One thing I know...I will never go back to that discontent way of life. A life without faith is not really living at all. 

WHY DO YOU NEED FAITH? (part 1)

By Danelle Carvell

                                                                                    

When this sharp-dressed man opened the door to the Fort Hunter mansion, I expected a great first-time adventure. When it comes to faith, you must open the door yourself, but the adventure is like no other. 

What is the number one reason why you need faith? Because it is impossible to please God without it. There are so many benefits to pleasing God that your entire life can be transformed by striving to do that one thing. 

Hebrews 11:6 says, "Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him."

The rewards mentioned in that scripture will be the topic for part 2 of this post. But for now, I will offer two other reasons why you need faith in your life. 

The definition of faith is believing that what God says is true, and having a deep conviction that it is impossible for God to lie.  In other words, you believe that the Bible is God-inspired and every word of it is true...with no ifs, ands, or buts. 

The second reason why you need faith is because it is the lifestyle that God commands. Faith is God's chosen way for us to live. Hebrews 10:38 says, "But my righteous one will live by faith; and if he draws back, I have no pleasure in Him." 

People who have no faith will stumble through their lives rejecting God and even being mad at Him for their unhappiness and their misfortune. They still haven't figured out that the reason for their unhappiness and misfortune is because they are rejecting God. They are caught in a cycle of unbelief and misery that has no end because they are not willing to swallow their stubborn pride and make a change. 

God doesn't force Himself on anyone. He gives everyone free will. And because we have free will, we have only ourselves to blame when our lives are completely void of God's blessings, guidance and favor. It's like closing the door before your meal is served and then complaining that you didn't get fed. You are the one who closed the door, so stop complaining that you're hungry and unhappy. 

God simply cannot work in the life of someone who rejects Him. When a blessing does come into that faithless person's life, it will always be the result of someone else's prayers and someone else's efforts. A person with no faith cannot open a door to blessings. 

And the third reason why you need faith in God is because it is your method of victory over Satan. 1 John 5:4 says, "...because whatever has been born of God conquers the world. This is the victory that has conquered the world: our faith." Without faith, we have no weapon to use against attacks from the enemy. 

When David went up against Goliath, it was his faith that gave him a victory. David was smaller, and physically weaker than the giant Goliath. But because he had faith, he had God on his side. And if God is for us who can be against us? What can mere man do to me that could possibly hurt me when I have favor with God?

The benefits of faith for the believer are so many that I couldn't possibly cover everything in one post. Each day I would think of another perk to having faith, and I would have to go back and add it to the list. That is the adventure that people miss out on when they live without faith. 

In my next post, I will go into more detail and examples about the adventure that faith brings and how your life becomes so much better when you open the most important door that will ever be knocked on. 

PEOPLE CAN MAKE OR BREAK YOU

By Danelle Carvell

                                                        
                                                        

The people you invite to your table have a big effect on your evening

Most of us look back on our lives and see many things that we wish we could change. We have regrets. We've made mistakes. We've learned so much about the value of making right decisions in every area of life. We learned about people and the qualities we should look for in a friend or a spouse. We weren't looking for those qualities in our younger days and we suffered for it. 

But it was the suffering that taught us those lessons. God allows us to reap the consequences of our actions over and over again. He doesn't protect us from the fallout of our bad behavior and our bad decisions. And I'm glad that He doesn't. 

For example, if God had protected me from the bad decisions I made about boyfriends, I wouldn't have learned the value of having a man who is trustworthy and kind. I dated men who didn't have a heart for  pleasing God and I suffered greatly for it. Oh the stories I could tell about that. 

I ignored a major red flag when it comes to men...look at where they spend their time. I recall a few men I dated that I never saw in the bar. They were hanging out at the roller skating rink. Those men turned out to be good husbands for other women, but I passed them by. 

Now I'm not saying that you can't find a good man in a bar. And I'm not against drinking. But looking back, I see that the lifestyle I had back then, driving from one rowdy bar to the next every weekend, was not conducive to increasing the odds of my happily ever after. 

Most of the men I dated seemed lost. Their priorities were messed up. They didn't value loyalty. They were into material things. I eventually discovered that some were into illegal things. I didn't feel respected by most of the men I went out with. I remember at one point thinking that this just must be the way men are and I will just have to settle for less than I deserve.  

The Bible clearly explains how a man should love a woman and the respect that he should grant her. But men who don't care about that will not care about living it out. So there's a lesson you can tell your daughter. The way a man treats her will depend on the condition of his heart and where he gets his guidance. 

I've learned many lessons about allowing people into my life. If God had protected me from the sting of choosing the wrong friends, I would not have learned how precious a real friend is. In my younger days, I chose friends who led me to hang out in the wrong places. Friends who used me for their own gain. Friends who talked about me behind my back. Friends who betrayed me. Friends who wouldn't make me a priority and easily shoved me aside.

Today my bar on friendship is set so high that few are able to make the cut. I don't tolerate the nonsense anymore. Because I learned that I'm better off alone than to settle for the companionship of an empty shell friend. If you want to be my friend, you had better bring some heart with you or you won't be staying long. 

People can have a big effect on your priorities and your attitude if you give them your time and attention. Iron sharpens iron. If you don't spend time with people who are invested in spiritual growth, you can get off track and miss opportunities that would further refine you into the person God wants you to become. 

One of the greatest lessons in life is a lesson in the people you surround yourself with. They can make or break your life. But you are the one who gets to decide who makes the cut. Choose wisely. 

DO YOU FEEL LIKE A PUNCHING BAG?

                                                        

Do you feel like the battles you are fighting have become bigger than ever before? Are people you know doing things that baffle or shock you? Do you find yourself knocked over again and again in every area of your life--health, family, finances?

We are in an intense season of spiritual battles. It's very possible that the enemy is trying to bring a curse against you. If you feel tormented with mental or physical pain... If you feel like the life is being squeezed out of you... or if you feel like constant problems are slowing your growth, causing you to shrink back from any advancement, then you need this prayer:

First, decree the goodness of God. Then say, 

"I decree and break every assignment of the enemy. I decree that I am bought by the covenant blood of Jesus and I cannot be cursed. Therefore, I take authority over every demonic assignment against myself, my family, my ministry, my business, or my God-ordained leadership role. I break every assignment of Athaliah and every type of spirit that goes along with her. I break the affliction, constriction and compression. I decree that Jesus is my true king and I will serve only Him. I declare that I am in covenant with God and I will be the intercessor and warrior that He called me to be in Jesus name."

The spiritual battle we are in is very real. I feel it myself. I have been knocked down again and again as I try to do what I feel God is calling me to do. As I try to advance His kingdom, I am being hit by countless distractions and by people coming against me. I can't sleep. I lay awake until daybreak. The enemy wants me wore out so I can't be a light to this dark world. 

And yet, here I am. I'm here because I know my spiritual authority and I know how to fight back. Don't be one of those who suffer because you don't realize what is causing your pain and you don't use your spiritual authority that Jesus gave you. 

Watch the video below for a better explanation of the times we live in and how you can come out victorious. Come in at 9 minutes to skip the intro and get right to the good stuff. 

https://rumble.com/v2dee9u-jane-hamon-a-time-of-defeating-demonic-attacks.html 

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW

Forgiveness has great power. And healing is connected to forgiveness. We should regularly check our hearts for any offense that might be causing resentment or bitterness. 

Although people are responsible for their actions, people are not the enemy. Satan works through people to cause strife, conflict and division. When someone displays hostility toward you, that person is being led by Satan. 

In Ephesians 6:12 we are told that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the powers in this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil. We need to remember who the real enemy is when people come against us. 

Social Media has greatly contributed to stirring up anger and resentment. It's so easy to blast someone with a hostile text. Also, I'm seeing so many people walking around  in a state of oppression. I can see it on their faces and in their tone of voice and body language. The world has never been more filled with hostility, depression, stress and anxiety. 

All these negative emotions can cause physical sickness and physical pain if we allow them to continue. We must remember who we are in Christ so we are not emotionally affected  and scarred by the hostility of others. We must learn to let God be our avenger instead of seeking revenge for ourselves. And we must forgive every offense as soon as it happens. If we don't forgive, we hurt ourselves even more by stressing our minds and bodies with energy-draining resentment. 

Just remember that forgiveness is not about becoming a doormat and allowing people to abuse you again and again. You do have the right to protect yourself from hostility. Forgiveness is an act of your will that says, " I choose not to remain bitter and resentful toward the person who hurt me. But instead, I will pray for them and wish the best for them."

In the past year, I have had to work through forgiving several people. Some of those issues haven't been resolved, but I have let go of the resentment. However, I am allowing myself the time I need to feel comfortable in their presence. 

People should always respect someone's need for distance after they've been hurt. Forgiveness can happen the same day, but sometimes trust must be restored before relationships can be mended.

Jesus often walked away from people to preserve his mind and emotions. 

If you need to forgive someone, do it for yourself and because it is what God calls us to do. Then take the time you need to recover.  

NEW OFFICIAL TRAILER: COME OUT IN JESUS NAME

The above documentary is in theaters now. Yes, even Christians can be under the influence of demonic oppression. This is the topic of the moment and it will become a much more talked about topic as the year progresses. 

Pastor Greg Locke is on fire growing a deliverance ministry that is setting people free from demonization and demonic strongholds. This could be the most important awakening in church history because many churches do not discuss demons and the horrible influences they can have on believers. 

The church has been deceived into thinking that if you are a Christian then you are safe from any possible demonic torment. Some churches believe that the demonic realm is only spoken about in the Bible and we don't have to deal with it today. That is a lie from the pits of Hell.

Of course evil wants you to think that demons don't exist. Of course evil wants you to think that you have no way to fight back. Many churches fail to teach on spiritual warfare as well. So Christians walk around with no knowledge of their spiritual authority and they are completely clueless to what the real problem is and how to fight it. 

Ninety percent of all demonic strongholds involve bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness, according to Johnny Enlow, who has been casting out demons for decades. There is a long list of sins that can invite demons to control your mind, will and emotions. Even when Holy Spirit lives in you, you are still capable of sin. 

Go to rumble.com and subscribe to Elijah Streams. A very informative interview with Johnny Enlow was streamed today. One of the questions he answered was, "Can A Christian Have a Demonic Stronghold?" About one hour into the interview, he answers that question if you are only interested in that part.

I experienced a demonic stronghold twice. You can't argue with a personal testimony. I also believe that some people I know are currently dealing with demonic strongholds, but they don't realize what is happening to them. They don't know how easy it would be for them to be set free. 

The church desperately needs an education about the reality of the demonic realm. That is why Pastor Locke made the above documentary. This is the year for a great awakening to the spiritual battle we have been in since birth. You can't fight what you don't know exists. And if you don't know your authority in Christ, you have no weapons. Do some research on this very important topic of demonic strongholds, deliverance, spiritual warfare, and spiritual authority. 

CAN A CHRISTIAN HAVE A DEMON?

Yes, even a Christian can develop a demonic stronghold. When under a demonic stronghold we will blame everyone else because we can't see how wrong our own actions are. Unforgiveness, rebellion, lying, and unconfessed sin are a few of the many ways that a stronghold can get a grip on us. 

Demons can affect the mind, will, and emotions of born again believers. Even a Christian is capable of sin when he or she is tempted and drawn away by her own evil desires. Once the desire moves from a thought into an action, it gives birth to sin. And when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. -James 1:14-15

I have experienced a demonic stronghold twice. If your church teaches that we do not deal with the demonic realm today, find another church. Demons are real and very active in our lives. Many of the problems people deal with today are caused by demonic strongholds. Unconfessed sin can grow bigger and bigger, so the first step toward breaking free of a stronghold is confession and repentance. 

Wanda Alger offers a video series titled "Breaking Free" on her website www.wandaalger.me

MY HIGH PLACES ARE NOT FINISHED

 By Danelle Carvell

                                                    

I'm always amazed how my devotionals will offer just the right encouragement on just the right day. It is one of the ways God speaks to me. He knows what I'm going through and He wants to uplift me.

I'm spending this week as somewhat of a recluse. I feel the need to step away from all the things that are going on around me so I can absorb myself in God, saturate myself in His love, and learn more about His ways. It's the best answer when I need to refresh my mind from troubling thoughts and feel joyful energy again. Today, as I was sitting at my desk, something caught my eye outside my bedroom window. 

My front yard was alive with activity as about 30 birds hopped around in a feeding frenzy, pulling worms out of the withered grass and gulping them down. This cheerful sight lasted about five minutes and included three sightings of a beautiful red cardinal. The sight of those birds filled me with immediate joy because birds are one of the many ways that God speaks to me. 

By faith, I received that happy gathering at my bedroom window as a reminder of God's love. He sent a whole group of feathered friends to cheer me up, and it couldn't have come at a better time. It was my second group bird hug in a month. God has me on His mind because this year has not been good to me so far.

I plan to share much more about the ways God speaks to me in a future post. Today I want to focus on how God speaks through my devotionals and what I read today that inspired me to write this post. 

"When you're a daughter of God, you have so much to offer others. You're like a good book waiting to be read. The pages are filled with stories of what the Lord has done--how He's rescued you from sin, set your feet in high places, and given you hope and a future. Share your faith by sharing those stories with others. You'll leave them begging for the next chapter."

The above paragraph was what I read today in my devotional, Everyday Spiritual Refreshment for Women. After I read it, I sensed that God wanted me to share a story. So I pondered the many stories I could share. When did God set my feet in high places?  It didn't take long for me to think of three times when He did that.

When I was a single mother after my divorce, I was asked to be a staff writer for the Citizen Standard newspaper in Valley View. This invitation came after I sent some writing samples to the editor and they published some of my work. 

This new job made a big difference in my life. I had been working as a waitress at The Valley Inn and I did like that job, but my income wasn't great. Soon after I started working at the newspaper I bought a new car, a pretty blue Cavalier, which has been my favorite car. Unfortunately a lady pulled out in front of me at an intersection in Halifax and my car was totaled. But that's another story. 

During my time at the Citizen Standard, I made some great friends and I met so many people when I went out to cover stories. The only thing that held me back was my lack of confidence. I had so much to learn about writing for a newspaper and working with a team of creative people who strived to produce a weekly paper that we could be proud of.

When I was given a column that I titled, Life Lightly Salted, God set my feet in a high place. I used that platform to encourage people and to inspire them to make good life decisions. And then along came an offer to be a secretary at DCEMA, where the Dauphin County 911 calls come in. It was a bigger paycheck, so I left the paper and became a secretary.

The second time God set my feet in a high place was when I wrote for The Upper Dauphin Sentinel. I was given the freedom to write a series of articles about creative people. The artist series featured musicians, dancers, art teachers and artists from our local community. 

I loved that gig. And it earned me two Keystone Press Awards two years in a row. That's when I felt that I had finally arrived as a writer. I took my son with me to the awards banquet because I had dragged him back and forth to the day care at HACC as a boy, while I was  studying for a degree in print journalism. The award was a nod to both of us that the stress of those days had been worth the effort. 

And the final time that God set my feet in high places was when I became a speaker through the Lykens Valley Women's Connection. I was invited to be president of LVWC by someone who was stepping down from the position. That led to my time as a speaker for Stonecroft Ministries, which required a lot of travel. 

I absolutely hate traveling and the panic of being lost, not knowing where the heck I'm going. I had to depend totally on Him to give me the courage and to get me at the right place on time. It was a lesson in faith and stepping out of my comfort zone. I learned that some of the greatest, most rewarding experiences happen outside the comfort zone. 

If you want to grow in your walk with God, get yourself a good devotional and be faithful about reading it daily. God will use it to encourage you and remind you of all the times that He opened a door, rescued you from sin, set your feet in high places and gave you a future and a hope. A devotional is one of the many ways that God speaks to us. 

Often the reason we don't hear God is because we are not looking for Him and we don't take the time to listen. He doesn't come into our lives without an invitation. But when He's invited, your life will never be the same. Be prepared for your feet to be set in high places. 

IS HOLY SPIRIT IN YOU?

By Danelle Carvell

                                                        

                                                    

The walk is more pleasant when you have something strong to catch you if you fall. 

I often wonder how I got through the early years of my life. I know now that something was very much missing, and I wonder how life would have been different if only that missing piece had been firmly in place. I'm talking about the better life we enjoy when we invite the Holy Spirit to come along with us on the journey. 

The Holy Spirit is the third person of the trinity, which also consists of Father God and His son, Jesus. Through the Holy Spirit, God acts, reveals His will, empowers individuals, and discloses His personal presence. 

You receive the Holy Spirit when you hear the message of salvation, which is that the only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ, the son of God. When you believe that Jesus died for your sins and you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside you. He is the down payment of your future inheritance, which is seeing the Kingdom of God and spending eternity in Heaven. 

The indwelling of the Holy Spirit is like an inner guide that walks with you through each day. He will strengthen you, guide your steps and your decisions, and through the Spirit, you will feel God's presence and enable Him to work in your life. 

People who live without the Holy Spirit are left to their own limited strength and their own discernment and guidance. They cannot access the power of God in their lives and they cannot feel God's presence. 

So the question is this...Do you have the Holy Spirit in you, and are you sensitive to the Spirit's promptings? You can ask yourself three questions if you want to know the answer. 

• Do you catch and deal with compromise early?

People with Holy-Spirit-led discernment often find that what doesn't bother others will bother them. If you are often rejected because you don't do things the way others do it, or you don't think the way others think...that's a good sign that the Holy Spirit is leading you. 

Because you live in this world but you are not of this world, you will have a world view that is grounded from an eternal perspective. Everything that crosses your path will be scrutinized according to God's standards and you will make decisions based on the truth that's found in His word.

Because you have a higher standard for your life than others, there are certain things that you will not tolerate and things you will not want to be part of. There might even be places that you will refuse to go or people you don't want to associate with. Because of your high standards, you may find yourself being excluded from groups or gatherings. 

Compromise is when someone ignores God's principles and makes a decision to act dishonorably. When a Holy-Spirit-led person observes that act of compromise, he or she has no choice but to deal with it immediately. The indwelling Holy Spirit simply will not allow the compromise to go unnoticed and unchecked. 

• Do you consult God on decisions?

You must have a constant prayer life if you want to hear and be led by the Holy Spirit. He will guide you through each day, tell you which way to go, what job to take, where to live, who to marry and every other answer you need. If you always consult God when a decision needs to be made and you pray until you get an answer, then you are being sensitive to the Holy Spirit. 

• Do you avoid the trap of tradition?

Tradition is the act of doing things simply because it's the way that things have always been done. When you make decisions based on what our culture tells you, then you are trapped by tradition. Some people will do things because it feels familiar and safe. They are afraid to go against popular opinion and they easily cave-in to cultural pressures. 

You can't live a successful, fruitful life when you cling to tradition instead of being led by the truth of God's word. I asked my husband for a good example of someone who is trapped by tradition and he gave me a surprising answer, which I hesitate to share. It's a controversial subject that tends to offend people, but here we go. 

His answer was... "women thinking that they have to work in order to be accepted by our culture. Women in the workplace has been a disaster in many ways." 

Some people might hate hearing that so much that they stop reading at this point, but I invite you to hear me out. We do recognize that some women have no choice when it comes to being in the workplace.

 My husband was making an observation about mothers who would be able to stay at home if they made some sacrifices, but they choose instead to pursue a career over being full-time mothers and homemakers. The pressure to be seen as someone "worthy" can entice a woman to make that decision. 

I'm not sure that I could have handled being at home with my daughter for years unless I had been able to tune out the cruel and critical voices of our culture that constantly told me I was lazy and worthless because I wasn't making money.

The "disaster" that my husband was referring to is the stress that comes with a two-income family, the effects on children when mom is spread so thin, and the effect on the marriage and family when both parents are running back and forth to full-time jobs. 

I have a friend who believes her marriage fell apart because of the stress she was under while working full-time and managing a large family. The majority of housework and the children's needs fell on her, and she was exhausted all the time with the demands of her job and her responsibilities at home. 

All she wanted to do was cut back to part-time work, and their finances could have easily handled that, but her husband was not filled with the Holy Spirit and he insisted that she continue as a full-time career woman. 

My husband notices how stressed women are today. He often comes home with a story about the latest woman driver who honked her horn or aggressively passed him on her way to wherever she was rushing to. 

In the book, Home By Choice, Brenda Hunter does a beautiful job of describing the attack on motherhood that caused our culture to shift toward a mindset that has become the traditional norm we see today.

"For almost [six] decades, the mother at home has experienced a massive fall from grace. In their push for equality of the sexes, feminists, beginning in the sixties, launched a wholesale assault on marriage and motherhood that continues today. 

It began in 1963 with the publication of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique, in which Friedan stated that home was a prison for all those mothers in Suburbia who, having devoted themselves to child care, still feel empty inside and unfulfilled. 

Friedan wrote that many American women in the fifties and early sixties suffered from a "problem that has no name," which produced feelings of restlessness, loneliness, and desperation. Friedan felt that being "just a housewife" destroyed women's potential and caused brain rot. That she hit a nerve was evidenced by the media sensation this suburban wife and mother caused and by the subsequent huge book sales.  

Once Friedan had delivered her broadside on housewifery, it wasn't long before motherhood came under attack, and the mother at home, once the keeper of the family dream, came to be regarded as a societal pariah." 

Today, women feel like they must be employed if they want to maintain any feeling of self-worth. And perhaps the best at keeping that mindset going are working women. From the discussions that I have overheard, stay-at-home moms are often attacked by career women with no Holy-Spirit-led discernment. When you're led by the Spirit, you don't need or want to put down women who choose a different path than the one you chose. 

So when I say that being sensitive to the Holy Spirit means that you do not make decisions based on tradition, I am offering the example of rejecting a culture that says she's worthless unless she's employed. And that example came from a man. 

So to recap what it means to be led by the Holy Spirit... if you deal with compromise early, you consult God on decisions, and you avoid the trap of tradition (whatever that might mean for you), then you are sensitive to the Holy Spirit and His guidance in your life. 

I think of the Holy Spirit as my safety net. He's always there to catch me. I can't imagine life without Him and I truly wonder how others get through a single day without the peace-of-mind and guidance He offers. He keeps me out of trouble, comforts me and gives me confidence even when the whole world seems to come against me. 

There is no greater friend to have. 

HAVE YOU MASTERED YOURSELF?

By Danelle Carvell

                                            

When we master ourselves, we are set free from  stress we bring upon ourselves by our own doing. 

There was a time in my life when I wasn't even close to being spiritually mature. I had much to learn. And I'm still learning and making mistakes. I don't share these things because I'm an expert. I share because after sixty years of messing up, I have gained some wisdom and I believe God wants me to speak about the things I've learned.

Spiritual maturity is not what you might think it is. It doesn't mean that you can memorize scripture, teach and preach, or even that you spend hours in prayer. 

Spiritual maturity is mastering yourself. It's reaching a level of self-discipline and a level of spirituality that is about as close to Jesus as one can get. 

If you're wondering how you rate on the spiritual maturity scale, ask yourself the following questions and be honest about the answers.

• Do You Avoid or Seek Controversy? 

The answer to both questions should be No. You should neither avoid controversy, nor should you seek it. People often avoid controversial matters because they fear the backlash they might get for taking an unpopular stand. 

We should never fear the opinions of people when we stand for Bible-based truth. A spiritually mature Christian will be bold as a lion when she stands for something she believes is right in the eyes of God. 

On the other hand, we should not go looking for controversy either. If you like to gossip, which stirs up trouble, that is an example of looking for controversy. If you turn every discussion into an opportunity to bring attention to yourself, that's controversy. If you always have an opposing comment that starts an argument, these are good signs that you are spiritually immature. 

A spiritually mature person does not enjoy quarreling or focusing attention on herself. Don't be the person who interrupts someone sharing her struggles because you can't wait to make a point about your own. 

Be a good listener. And don't be the person who is always ready to argue because you want to look like you have all the answers...or you want to look like the one who always follows the most virtuous path. 

The urge to always stir the pot and cause trouble, the constant desire for attention, and that need to look like the one who has all the right answers...are all signs of spiritual immaturity.   

• Do you have self-control?

Self control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. It is the ability to control our words, our thoughts, our impulses and our cravings.  

Are you able to catch yourself just before you say or do something ungodly? Do you have control of your emotions? Can you focus on more important things when you're hit by all kinds of distractions? Can you easily say No to sin and Yes to God? 

When we are under stress, self-control can be very difficult. Most people I know struggle with this. Something happens and we immediately react to it and not always in a godly way. 

A calm person who is slow to speak and slow to anger is a spiritually mature person. This is one area that I struggle with myself. If someone hurts me, I can snap. I do calm down shortly afterward because I know I can't stay angry. But that quick negative reaction to the offense is difficult for me to control. 

• Are you generous with forgiveness?  

When you reach a point where you can forgive someone within minutes, hours or even within days, then you can consider yourself spiritually mature. We should forgive faster than someone can apologize. 

Forgiveness is not easy, especially when that offense is so hurtful it feels like a knife in your chest. It can be so hard to say, I forgive you. But that is what God calls us to do. If you call yourself a Christian, you have to let it go. 

Now, that does not mean that you must resume your relationship with an abusive person and pretend that everything is okay. If the issue has not been resolved, you have every right to feel uncomfortable. You have every right to stay away. That is self-preservation, which is not unforgiveness. 

What you do not have the right to do is to stay bitter and angry. Forgiveness does not mean that you should become a doormat and tolerate ongoing abuse. It means that you should not become a prisoner of your own bitterness. 

Why? Because when you hang on to bitterness and anger, you are the one who will suffer the most. It will make you sick, steal your joy, and wear you out. God knows that. He doesn't want you in that kind of prison. Letting it go is more for you than it is for them. 

I speak from experience when I say that unforgiveness will make your life a living Hell. You will turn into someone that your friends and family don't even recognize. You will feel tormented. And the only cure for your torment is to forgive. 

• Do you think eternally?

What we do for eternity is the only thing that lasts.

Thinking from an eternal perspective means that everything you do and say is weighed against the consequences when you stand before God to give an account for your life here on earth. You realize that you will have to answer for all your bad decisions. God sees everything, so you make decisions that please Him. A spiritually mature person will ask herself every day, " Would God be happy with this thing that I'm about to say or do?"

• Are you always willing to learn?

Prideful people can't admit mistakes. A spiritually mature person will admit she has shortcomings. She knows she is not perfect. We all have character flaws and blind spots and we should all be open to correction. Correction is what makes us grow into better people.

Some people act as if they will be totally destroyed if they admit their own failures. Insecure people can't handle correction. They can't admit that they have things to learn and they might have a selfish, greedy nature. Even when someone corrects them in a loving way, they can't handle it. 

God disciplines those He loves, and He often sends people into our lives to correct us. We need to be humble enough to accept that correction if we want to mature in our walk with Him.

A spiritually mature person will actually pray and ask God to search her heart for any character flaw that needs to be refined. And she will graciously accept God's correction when it comes.

Yes, that is a long hard list. But it's also an opportunity to see what you need to work on. Spiritual maturity should be a goal that we chase after. Psalm 119 is a beautiful psalm to read for those who truly want to mature spiritually. 

When we strive to be more like Jesus, we store up treasures in Heaven and we will enjoy those treasures for eternity. Will you be happy with your treasures when you get there? Or will you have regrets about your lack of treasures and the things you said and did that were not pleasing to God?