PEOPLE CAN MAKE OR BREAK YOU

By Danelle Carvell

                                                        
                                                        

The people you invite to your table have a big effect on your evening

Most of us look back on our lives and see many things that we wish we could change. We have regrets. We've made mistakes. We've learned so much about the value of making right decisions in every area of life. We learned about people and the qualities we should look for in a friend or a spouse. We weren't looking for those qualities in our younger days and we suffered for it. 

But it was the suffering that taught us those lessons. God allows us to reap the consequences of our actions over and over again. He doesn't protect us from the fallout of our bad behavior and our bad decisions. And I'm glad that He doesn't. 

For example, if God had protected me from the bad decisions I made about boyfriends, I wouldn't have learned the value of having a man who is trustworthy and kind. I dated men who didn't have a heart for  pleasing God and I suffered greatly for it. Oh the stories I could tell about that. 

I ignored a major red flag when it comes to men...look at where they spend their time. I recall a few men I dated that I never saw in the bar. They were hanging out at the roller skating rink. Those men turned out to be good husbands for other women, but I passed them by. 

Now I'm not saying that you can't find a good man in a bar. And I'm not against drinking. But looking back, I see that the lifestyle I had back then, driving from one rowdy bar to the next every weekend, was not conducive to increasing the odds of my happily ever after. 

Most of the men I dated seemed lost. Their priorities were messed up. They didn't value loyalty. They were into material things. I eventually discovered that some were into illegal things. I didn't feel respected by most of the men I went out with. I remember at one point thinking that this just must be the way men are and I will just have to settle for less than I deserve.  

The Bible clearly explains how a man should love a woman and the respect that he should grant her. But men who don't care about that will not care about living it out. So there's a lesson you can tell your daughter. The way a man treats her will depend on the condition of his heart and where he gets his guidance. 

I've learned many lessons about allowing people into my life. If God had protected me from the sting of choosing the wrong friends, I would not have learned how precious a real friend is. In my younger days, I chose friends who led me to hang out in the wrong places. Friends who used me for their own gain. Friends who talked about me behind my back. Friends who betrayed me. Friends who wouldn't make me a priority and easily shoved me aside.

Today my bar on friendship is set so high that few are able to make the cut. I don't tolerate the nonsense anymore. Because I learned that I'm better off alone than to settle for the companionship of an empty shell friend. If you want to be my friend, you had better bring some heart with you or you won't be staying long. 

People can have a big effect on your priorities and your attitude if you give them your time and attention. Iron sharpens iron. If you don't spend time with people who are invested in spiritual growth, you can get off track and miss opportunities that would further refine you into the person God wants you to become. 

One of the greatest lessons in life is a lesson in the people you surround yourself with. They can make or break your life. But you are the one who gets to decide who makes the cut. Choose wisely.