HAVE YOU MASTERED YOURSELF?

By Danelle Carvell

                                            

When we master ourselves, we are set free from  stress we bring upon ourselves by our own doing. 

There was a time in my life when I wasn't even close to being spiritually mature. I had much to learn. And I'm still learning and making mistakes. I don't share these things because I'm an expert. I share because after sixty years of messing up, I have gained some wisdom and I believe God wants me to speak about the things I've learned.

Spiritual maturity is not what you might think it is. It doesn't mean that you can memorize scripture, teach and preach, or even that you spend hours in prayer. 

Spiritual maturity is mastering yourself. It's reaching a level of self-discipline and a level of spirituality that is about as close to Jesus as one can get. 

If you're wondering how you rate on the spiritual maturity scale, ask yourself the following questions and be honest about the answers.

• Do You Avoid or Seek Controversy? 

The answer to both questions should be No. You should neither avoid controversy, nor should you seek it. People often avoid controversial matters because they fear the backlash they might get for taking an unpopular stand. 

We should never fear the opinions of people when we stand for Bible-based truth. A spiritually mature Christian will be bold as a lion when she stands for something she believes is right in the eyes of God. 

On the other hand, we should not go looking for controversy either. If you like to gossip, which stirs up trouble, that is an example of looking for controversy. If you turn every discussion into an opportunity to bring attention to yourself, that's controversy. If you always have an opposing comment that starts an argument, these are good signs that you are spiritually immature. 

A spiritually mature person does not enjoy quarreling or focusing attention on herself. Don't be the person who interrupts someone sharing her struggles because you can't wait to make a point about your own. 

Be a good listener. And don't be the person who is always ready to argue because you want to look like you have all the answers...or you want to look like the one who always follows the most virtuous path. 

The urge to always stir the pot and cause trouble, the constant desire for attention, and that need to look like the one who has all the right answers...are all signs of spiritual immaturity.   

• Do you have self-control?

Self control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. It is the ability to control our words, our thoughts, our impulses and our cravings.  

Are you able to catch yourself just before you say or do something ungodly? Do you have control of your emotions? Can you focus on more important things when you're hit by all kinds of distractions? Can you easily say No to sin and Yes to God? 

When we are under stress, self-control can be very difficult. Most people I know struggle with this. Something happens and we immediately react to it and not always in a godly way. 

A calm person who is slow to speak and slow to anger is a spiritually mature person. This is one area that I struggle with myself. If someone hurts me, I can snap. I do calm down shortly afterward because I know I can't stay angry. But that quick negative reaction to the offense is difficult for me to control. 

• Are you generous with forgiveness?  

When you reach a point where you can forgive someone within minutes, hours or even within days, then you can consider yourself spiritually mature. We should forgive faster than someone can apologize. 

Forgiveness is not easy, especially when that offense is so hurtful it feels like a knife in your chest. It can be so hard to say, I forgive you. But that is what God calls us to do. If you call yourself a Christian, you have to let it go. 

Now, that does not mean that you must resume your relationship with an abusive person and pretend that everything is okay. If the issue has not been resolved, you have every right to feel uncomfortable. You have every right to stay away. That is self-preservation, which is not unforgiveness. 

What you do not have the right to do is to stay bitter and angry. Forgiveness does not mean that you should become a doormat and tolerate ongoing abuse. It means that you should not become a prisoner of your own bitterness. 

Why? Because when you hang on to bitterness and anger, you are the one who will suffer the most. It will make you sick, steal your joy, and wear you out. God knows that. He doesn't want you in that kind of prison. Letting it go is more for you than it is for them. 

I speak from experience when I say that unforgiveness will make your life a living Hell. You will turn into someone that your friends and family don't even recognize. You will feel tormented. And the only cure for your torment is to forgive. 

• Do you think eternally?

What we do for eternity is the only thing that lasts.

Thinking from an eternal perspective means that everything you do and say is weighed against the consequences when you stand before God to give an account for your life here on earth. You realize that you will have to answer for all your bad decisions. God sees everything, so you make decisions that please Him. A spiritually mature person will ask herself every day, " Would God be happy with this thing that I'm about to say or do?"

• Are you always willing to learn?

Prideful people can't admit mistakes. A spiritually mature person will admit she has shortcomings. She knows she is not perfect. We all have character flaws and blind spots and we should all be open to correction. Correction is what makes us grow into better people.

Some people act as if they will be totally destroyed if they admit their own failures. Insecure people can't handle correction. They can't admit that they have things to learn and they might have a selfish, greedy nature. Even when someone corrects them in a loving way, they can't handle it. 

God disciplines those He loves, and He often sends people into our lives to correct us. We need to be humble enough to accept that correction if we want to mature in our walk with Him.

A spiritually mature person will actually pray and ask God to search her heart for any character flaw that needs to be refined. And she will graciously accept God's correction when it comes.

Yes, that is a long hard list. But it's also an opportunity to see what you need to work on. Spiritual maturity should be a goal that we chase after. Psalm 119 is a beautiful psalm to read for those who truly want to mature spiritually. 

When we strive to be more like Jesus, we store up treasures in Heaven and we will enjoy those treasures for eternity. Will you be happy with your treasures when you get there? Or will you have regrets about your lack of treasures and the things you said and did that were not pleasing to God?