WATCH ME WALK AWAY

                                                                            

                                                                                

Walking away is sometimes the best thing you can do.

A very important part of respecting and caring for each other is validating one another's feelings. I have a hard time getting close to people who downplay or make light of my hurts, or people who make excuses for those who behave badly.  

One of the best responses I ever got from someone after I reached a breaking point with people behaving badly was this:

"Danelle, your feelings are your feelings and you have a right to feel them."

That's exactly the point I'm trying to make. When someone gets hurt, the last thing that person needs is someone to come along and downplay what happened or make excuses for what took place. That's like punching the hurting person even more by telling them that they shouldn't feel what they are feeling. It's an uncaring slap in the face. 

The word I'm talking about here is empathy, which is the ability to identify with the thoughts, feelings and attitudes of another. People who lack empathy are often self-absorbed. If the situation didn't affect them, then they can't see what the big deal is. They don't have the ability to put themselves in the hurting person's shoes and understand why that person feels as they do.

When I sense that someone lacks empathy, I am very careful what I share with that person. I become quiet and reserved around an unempathetic person. Why would I risk having that person make me feel foolish for the way I feel? Why would I want to listen to them rubbing salt into the wound? 

The older I get, the more I want to stay away from people who aren't good for my emotional health. And there's nothing wrong with that. By staying away, people might see it as me being unforgiving or resentful, but that's not why I stay away. 

Jesus walked away from people all the time when he felt mistreated. Jesus was willing to walk away and he let other people walk away at least 41 times in the Bible. I want to invest my time in reliable people who handle my concerns with care, just as Jesus did. 

Learn to find the reliable people in your life, the ones who are fruitful, ready and eager to step into every situation with understanding, empathy and kindness. Those are the people you should be spending time with.