A BAD BATCH OF COMFORT

By Danelle Carvell

                                                

Bad advice can make a person's suffering worse

Is someone you know suffering? How can we possibly help someone who is hurting? What can we say that will bring them comfort? The Bible offers a great example of how to handle a person's suffering. It's a valuable teaching we can all learn from at a time when so many people are hurting deeply. 

One of the most popular Bible stories teaches us how to respond when someone we love is suffering.  A troubled man, Job, was told by three friends that the reason he was suffering was the result of sin in his life. This was not the right thing to say to Him. 

At the end of the book of Job, God directs his anger at the three friends for not speaking the truth about Job's situation. He asks Job to pray for them, and then God accepts the prayer instead of giving the misguided friends what their folly deserves.  

From this story we learn that evil can fall on righteous people just as fast as it falls on the wicked. God sometimes allows suffering in people's lives to accomplish a greater good. He works out His own purposes in His own time and He doesn't always protect us from suffering because a breakthrough often comes after extreme pain. 

The book of Job addresses our attitudes toward suffering people. It teaches us that our suffering is the result of living in a fallen world. Not all suffering is the result of a person's own sin.  The conversation between Job and his friends illustrates opposing ideas about suffering and the correct responses we should offer to hurting people.

Job's friends insisted that God only punishes the evildoer, so Job must have done something to deserve his suffering. Job was frustrated and angry, but he did not renounce God or deny Him. He was the perfect role model for a suffering person. Job questioned the hurtful situation without renouncing or denying God. 

I can't say that I have always responded to a suffering person in the right way. There have been times when I made things worse by giving stupid advice or offering criticism that made the person feel even more beat up. I'm not sure why we feel the need to do this. We really should know better. 

When someone is suffering. we need to be careful that we do not act as Job's friends did. They focused on what Job must have done to deserve his pain. They made his suffering worse by laying a guilt trip on him and suggesting that he deserved what he received. 

God often uses suffering to bring about good. But there's nothing good about making things worse by responding carelessly to people's pain. We are better off praying about the situation than giving hurtful advice to someone who is already hurting. 

When you are suffering or you know someone who is, read the final chapters of Job, beginning with chapter 38. God is our ultimate comforter. We can't always depend on friends and family for comfort.