7 Qualities of a Woman After God’s Heart (Every Christian Woman Must Hea...

She doesn't seek approval from people. She is quick to repent from her mistakes. She loves truth. She chooses obedience to God over every problem. She walks in love, not weakness. She trusts God with the outcome of her hurts. 

These are some of the qualities every Christian woman should strive for.

'The Holy Spirit Came to Me': Hollywood Star Embraces Christianity, Find...

She thought that Christianity was going to limit her, but instead she found amazing freedom. Now she has a different way of dealing with problems and heartaches. The burden of dealing with everything alone has been lifted. The Holy Spirit now guides her life and gives her peace and comfort in every situation. 

YOU CAN'T BE GREAT BY KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT

 

By Danelle Carvell                                                     

This was taken at a wax museum, but I know he would have had something wise to say. 

Sitting at my bedroom window is my favorite prayer spot. Today when I said "Let me feel your presence, Lord" a hummingbird flew under the window awning and for a few seconds it looked at me while suspended by fluttering wings. I barely finished the sentence and there it was, stopping by for a quick visit. 

In the past few years, I have had many bird encounters that I believe were sent by God. He finds ways to show Himself when we ask for visible proof. I think God loves doing that, but most people don't think of asking. I need reminders of His presence, so I ask and His answers always lift my spirits. 

Because I need that encouragement myself, I know the value of encouraging others. I feel constantly driven to fill people with hope, inspiration, and motivation. The topic that's on my heart today is the power of your voice and why you should speak up.

There was a time when I was very good at suffering in silence. When someone hurt me I stayed quiet. I stuffed those hurts down inside me, where they lingered for years and affected me in negative ways. But I have learned to address every wrongdoing as it comes. I know now that I need to speak up in that exact moment or shortly afterward to make my feelings known. 

Have there been times in your life when you regretted not speaking up? Are you using your voice for good? Now is not the time to remain as you are and be silent. It's time to stand for something. You were born to be great, and you can't be great by keeping your mouth shut. 

The enemy loves to make people feel insignificant, weak. insecure and unworthy. If he can make you think that your words have no impact and your opinions can't make a difference, then he can halt your destiny and destroy your purpose. 

Don't believe those lies and think that you are not important enough to be someone great. Someone needs to hear what you have to share. You've been through some stuff, and you've learned some valuable lessons. Your story and your courage to speak up or take action can shift trajectories. 

What do I mean by that? I'll give you an example from the Bible. In Numbers 27, five daughters stood before Moses and the entire community at a meeting tent entrance and said, "Our father died in the wilderness...Why should the name of our father be taken away from his clan? Since he had no son, give us property among our father's brothers."

Moses brought their case before the Lord and the Lord answered, "What Zelophehad's daughters say is correct. Give them hereditary property among their father's brothers and transfer their father's inheritance to them."

Because the five daughters spoke up and asked for what they felt was right, a new statutory ordinance was put in place for the Israelites. That is what I mean when I say that your words can shift trajectories. You can change the way something is going. You can correct a wrong.

When a person or situation is headed in the wrong direction, your voice can be the thing that shifts the outcome. You can stop something bad from happening. You can prevent something from getting worse. You can stop someone from continuing down a wayward path. 

Zelophehad's daughters didn't beg for what they deserved. They approached the community leaders with confidence and demanded what was rightfully theirs. You do have the right to stand up for yourself and others. You do have the right to question something that feels wrong. 

We live in a culture that embraces tolerance. We're told not to rock the boat. Don't offend anyone. We're encouraged to look away from wrongdoing and keep our mouths shut. But Jesus didn't do that. Jesus offended people all the time because He spoke truth that convicted people of their wrongdoing. Those who hated Him, didn't like being corrected. 

Our culture even teaches us that we shouldn't get angry about the wrongs in this world. But sometimes anger is justified. Jesus got angry. Do you think He was happy when he flipped those tables in the temple?  Sometimes people need a wake-up call. They don't respond to gentle correction. They need something more eye-opening. 

Don't let anyone lay a guilt trip on you for being forceful with your voice. Anger is not a sin. The Bible says, "Be angry and sin not." There is a way to speak forcefully while still being respectful. When we seek revenge or call people nasty names, then our anger becomes sin. But anger itself is not a sin. 

Why should you speak up? Because the younger generation needs your wisdom. The Bible instructs older women to mentor younger women. Older men should be doing the same. We have so much wisdom among our older population that is not being shared because people are too timid to speak up. But according to the  Bible, speaking up is not optional. 

We are mandated by God to be "fruitful." That means we should produce good fruit. We're also told to be "salt" and "light." Salt preserves the goodness and light breaks through the darkness.  We should be using our voice, our gifts and our talents for the glory of God and for the improvement of society. And we are qualified to do so by the grace of God. 

Your purpose is relevant. You are significant. You are qualified to be a world changer and God expects you to be one. The closer you get to God, the more courage you will have to speak up. 

Pray for discernment so you will have a truthful perception of what is actually happening in every situation. When you invite the Holy Spirit to operate in your life, you will become bold and develop a keen sense for knowing when someone or something is wrong. No one will be able to manipulate you, abuse you or take advantage of you because you'll have a strength that does not waiver. And a voice that will not be silenced. 

I challenge you to start using the power of your voice to bring good into a world that very much needs a change in trajectory. Don't let the naysayers silence you. Be bold! Speak up! No one great ever kept their mouth shut.

ARE YOU ON SHAKY GROUND?

Most people do not realize or embrace their identity in Christ. I know this because I can see it on people by the way that they respond to situations, and by the way they respond to the comments of others. I also know this because I didn't fully understand my own identity in Christ until within the past three years, and I am 61 years old. 

I know the stress that goes with living to please others. I have felt the pressure to be what the world expects of me. And I have exhausted myself trying to conform to those expectations. My life was chaotic, stressful and lacking peace before I learned to embrace my true identity. 

In this video, Kris Reece lists three reasons why people struggle to embrace their God-given identity. She also teaches us how we can stop reacting inappropriately when someone challenges our identity. When we don't realize our identity in Christ, our self-esteem will be fragile and easily shaken. This can cause great emotional stress for ourselves and for those close to us. 

I know people who are conformers (also know as people pleasers.)

They don't have opinions of their own, but instead they conform to what everyone around them thinks and feels. Like a chameleon, they change their minds according to the company they keep. And by doing this, they have no identity of their own.  

I know people who seem driven by fear. They fear that they won't be accepted. They fear that they might disappoint someone. They fear that they might lose a relationship. And those fears cause them to do, say and think things that are not good for them. They live on shaky ground every day because they lack the foundation of knowing who they are in Christ. 

When you allow others to determine your identity, your significance and your worth, then you put yourself on an emotional roller coaster, because people are often looking out only for themselves. When you attach yourself to their train car, you will be taken for a chaotic ride.

The only way to find peace in this life is to learn and embrace your identity as a child of the most high God. This will give you confidence in who you are. You will be unshakable in your beliefs and able to confidently stand against any adversity. 

Once you find your true identity, you will no longer chase after the world's standards. You will be tuned-in to God's voice and you will get your guidance from Him. No one will ever make you feel inadequate, worthless or unloved again, because you simply won't care about the opinions of others. 

If your life is chaotic, you're not reading this by accident. The answer could be as simple as watching a Kris Reece video. 

ARE YOU AN ENCOURAGER?

To someone going through a hardship, there is nothing more refreshing than an encouraging word or deed. Encouragement might be the greatest need in our world today. According to a recent poll, half of all Americans feel alone or left out, and they feel that no one knows them well. 

We live in a culture right now where there are so many discouraging messages coming at us. Mean-spirited people are everywhere, especially online. We even have a name for these online bullies--trolls.

People are desperate today to hear that they are valuable, that their lives matter, and they are loved and needed. In the above video, Pastor Greg Laurie gives examples of how our discouraging culture is affecting the mental health of not just our nation, but the entire world. 

I remember well the people in my life who have encouraged me. I had a high school English teacher who recognized my writing talent and encouraged me to get my work published, based on a short story I wrote for class. I had a professor in college who encouraged me to write an essay, which He submitted to a small publication. It was my first published essay. 

Then there was the letter I received from Kim Alexis, a supermodel from the eighties who is now a Christian author and speaker. I had read one of her books and wrote to her because I could relate to something she said. 

I was feeling discouraged at the time, and she asked me why I have such a strong desire to write and reach people. "Could it be that God has put this desire in you?" she asked. She helped me to believe in myself and move forward without doubt. 

Encouragement is extremely powerful. But so many of us are failing to bring this much-needed inspiration to others. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11 we are told, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing."

Are you already doing this? Before you say something or post something online, do you ask yourself--Is it truthful, helpful, inspiring, necessary and kind? This spells out the acronym: THINK. Do you think before you speak or type? 

Are you always criticizing and complaining? Are you always pointing out the negative side of every situation? Do you love to mention the failures and weaknesses in others? Do people call you Miss negative behind your back? 

Or are you following what the Bible teaches and being an encourager? Are you good at making people feel welcome? Do you recognize the potential in others? Do you cheer people on? Do you mention their strengths and help them to believe in themselves? Are you willing to do what it takes to help people back up when they fall? 

God wants us to be encouragers in a world that desperately needs encouragement. What have you done lately to encourage someone? 

A BEAUTY BEYOND COMPARE

Here is the full movie that goes with the documentary in my last post. I haven't watched the movie yet, but I know the theme of the movie is about true beauty and what really makes a woman beautiful. 

I turned 61 this year, and I will admit that I focus too much on my appearance. I admire older women who can walk out the door without a stitch of makeup on and not care. I admire women who let their hair go grey and don't care. Why do I care so much about my looks?

I guess the answer is... because the world cares. Ever since about eighth grade I have realized the power of beauty. That's when boys began noticing me, and I became more tuned-in to the comments I received about my looks. The year before high school began was when I learned that the world worships physical beauty. 

I think the reason that God allows us to age and get wrinkly is because He wants us, at some point, to focus on our inner beauty. A pretty face may be pleasing to the eyes, but a beautiful heart can make so much more of a difference in this hostile world. God wants us to work on beautifying our hearts and our minds so that we can serve, encourage and show love to others. 

If I'm too concerned about my looks, I can miss the things that God wants me to care about. While I'm glancing in the mirror, the person He wants me to help can walk right past me. I don't want to be selfish anymore. But it's something that I do struggle with. I still care a little too much about my appearance. 

But I'm also working on my heart. In the past few years, I have learned to be more patient with people. There was a time when I had a lot to learn, and I was making mistakes every day. Not everyone is on the same level of spiritual growth. I can't fix people. I can only pray for them. And God loves them no matter how badly they mess up, so I also must extend grace. 

I'm at the point where I can almost instantly forgive someone. But I can't instantly trust. But that's okay because trust is not something that God requires me to extend generously. He understands that I need to guard my heart. But I have learned that forgiveness is essential, and I am the one who benefits most when I forgive.

I have also learned what it means to give up everything in order to help someone. Jesus is the ultimate example of laying your life down for someone else. The second most important thing God expects from us is that we love others as ourselves. But are we willing to sacrifice time and energy to the point of exhaustion? Are we willing to give it all in order to help someone? 

I learned that I am capable of that kind of love. I am willing to offer my time. I am willing to make physical, mental, emotional and  financial sacrifices. I am willing to give up my own comfort and convenience for the sake of someone else. 

So maybe I should be a little easier on myself. God probably understands the struggles we face in a world that can be shallow and superficial. Even though I still spend too much time on my appearance, He sees that I am learning about true beauty and what it means to have a beautiful heart. 

A forgiving, kind, self-sacrificing, woman is far beyond beautiful. She's a world changer who finds favor in the heart of God. 

WHO ARE YOU LIVING FOR?

I don't agree with her publicly calling people heretics, but she does make some very good points about what biblical womanhood means. I know many women who claim to be Christians but they don't walk the walk. I used to be one of them. So I could relate to some of her points. 

Here's a quick outline of some of the changes she made.

1. Stop living for yourself-

 

If I don't wake up each day with an attitude of wanting to please God, spend time with him, and seek his guidance, then I am living for myself. 

2. Stop swearing/gossiping/making people feel bad with your mouth-

We don't need to have all the dirt on people in order to pray for them. Some women gossip and then claim that they just want to know how they should pray for that person. Matthew 15:18 says, "What comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and this defiles a man."

This might be the biggest obstacle for Christian women. We fail to filter the things that come out of our mouths. And we do not display the love of Christ by our words. We do not uplift others by our words.

When you can't tame your tongue, you are not being led by the Holy Spirit. 

3. Stop indulging in whatever you want-

Self control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. We can indulge in many things that are not good for us--food, sex, alcohol, shopping, TV, idolizing celebrities, and selfish ambitions to name a few. I have needed to cut back on my TV time because it was becoming an unhealthy indulgence. God is more than happy to tell you what you should step away from if you ask Him. 

4. Stop neglecting your husband, your children or your home- 

A Christian woman never puts her marriage on the back burner. She does not belittle her children or treat them like an inconvenience. And she makes her home and family a top priority. 

5. Stop being rebellious-

We live in a world that encourages rebellion. Woman rebel against their children, their husbands and their God-given roles. But we are called to submit to God's order. And we should see that submission as an honor. 

6. Stop living in the world/ Start living from an eternal perspective-

This is a big one that includes many things. Focusing too much on your appearance, neglecting modesty, needing to impress others with your achievements, your success or your material possessions are all examples of being worldly minded. This one might be the most difficult to overcome because women are constantly bombarded with ungodly messages from a world that lacks spiritual discernment. 

I am not a citizen of this world, so I need to navigate life from an eternal perspective. And God can help me to do that. He will show me what changes I need to make. But I first have to care enough and realize that I'm too absorbed in this world. 

I have to always ask myself, "Will God be happy with me for doing this, for saying this, for dressing like this, for focusing on this, for spending so much time on this?" Am I living to conform to the world, or am I living to please God in all I do and say? 

There was a time when I lived for myself. Swearing, gossiping and letting my mouth run wild was a daily habit. I indulged in whatever felt good, and I was sassy and rebellious. I was definitely focused on what the world was doing and what the world was telling me I should be. 

And I was extremely empty inside, lost, lonely, and longing for something better. God knows what a woman needs to have a joyful life. When we embrace biblical womanhood, we will always find peace and contentment that surpasses anything the world could possibly offer us. 

LIFE IS BETTER WHEN YOU LET GOD LEAD

By Danelle Carvell

                                                    

Are you navigating a difficult life without God's power?

I have often felt like I don't fit in. The things that people value in this world, I couldn't care less about. I don't value material things. Most people see high education, important titles, and a high income as the best measurements for success. I measure success by God's standards, not by the world's standards. I don't need to accumulate a bunch of stuff in order to feel worthy and successful. And I don't try to impress others with the stuff that I accumulate.  

To some people, I am probably seen as someone who hasn't made much of herself. I came close to an associate's degree, but didn't finish college. I have never had what people consider a high income, and I have never held what the world considers an impressive title or position. 

One of the signs that you are being led by the Holy Spirit is that you are willing to follow a path that is different from what the world says you should pursue. My goals, my values, and my measurements for success are not of this world. Those things are instilled in me by God through the Holy Spirit. 

That is why I don't value people based on income or the work that they do or don't do.  I don't see educated people as more valuable than uneducated people. Education and accomplishment is not what makes a person valuable to God. God values our kindness toward others and our willingness to put Him first. 

Being Holy Spirit led means that you are being guided by the Spirit of God, the third person of the Trinity. The Holy Spirit is the navigator that abides within every born-again believer. This divine guidance is what allows me to stand strong and survive in a messed-up world. 

What is messed-up about the world? Everything that's wrong in this world is the result of people lacking guidance from the Holy Spirit. When we don't live by biblical values, we hurt ourselves and we hurt other people. 

Those who are not Spirit-led, don't have that inner voice that helps them make right decisions. So they are easily swayed by their own pride, their own judgement of right and wrong, and their own ideas about how they should live and how they should treat others. 

People who lack the Holy Spirit make bad decisions for themselves and others. Their priorities are not in order. They are often fearful and anxious. They don't go to God when they have a decision to make. They feel guilt, shame and condemnation because they don't let holy, spiritual comfort into their lives.  

Do you stay quiet when a conversation leans toward wrong thinking?  Do you say nothing when someone displays an ungodly attitude or a wrong action? Another sign that you are being led by the Holy Spirit is having the strength and courage to speak your mind on moral issues instead of going along with popular opinion. You will stand up for biblical truth no matter who disagrees or how badly you are outnumbered. 

A Holy Spirit led person sees as God sees. She feels as God feels. I can instantly detect a wrong attitude in someone. I can sense the state of a person's heart. I know when someone is envious or prideful. I know when someone is angry, confused, upset or uncomfortable. God gives me an inner knowing about people and situations through the Holy Spirit. And this is how I navigate life. 

Living by the power of the Holy Spirit allows me to live in a way that pleases God and to have integrity in all my relationships, both personal and professional. The Spirit of God helps me to be more than I am, helps me to say more than I know, and helps me to do more than I possibly could without Him. I am fueled by God's power, so I have a strength and wisdom that can only come from Him. 

I believe the Holy Spirit even helps me to write. He puts ideas into my head and helps me say things in an understandable way. I am learning to hear the voice of God more and more, and His leading is becoming more evident in my life. I have confidence that God's power within me is greater than anything I will ever face in this life. 

"Being led by the Spirit isn't something we do passively. It's a conscious decision we make to be different from a world that thinks those who live according to the Bible are backward and out of step. It's a choice to trust God's word and stand against a woke culture that rejects what scripture says about marriage, sexuality, and even gender." says Stephen Strang in his book, "Spirit-Led Living in an Upside Down World."

What is the main responsibility of a Spirit-led believer? Reaching others for Christ is the answer. The most important question I could ever ask someone is this: Where will you spend eternity? 

This life is temporary. Nothing that happens here matters in comparison to your eternal destination and the life you will have forever after you leave this earth. Considering that death can come for anyone at any moment, eternal life is by far the most important subject that people tend to ignore. 

Forever is a long time to spend in a place you are not certain about. Not knowing where I'm going would scare the Hell out of me because once I'm there.... I am there forever, and I can't change it. That is some scary truth, and I want my bases covered. Spirit-led living means having peace and confidence about both my life on earth and my life for eternity. 

When God is in charge of your thoughts, your actions and your decisions, you are living your best life possible. You are the happiest that you could possibly be. You overcome every obstacle because God shows you the way out. You become a powerful influence on your family, friends and community. And God will lead you to fulfill all your dreams. Your purpose in life will be crystal clear, and it will lead you to prosperity and deep satisfaction. 

If all that sounds like something that is lacking in your life, start getting to know the Holy Spirit by spending time with Him and talking with Him. Sit quietly and wait for Him to talk to you in your spirit. God wants to lead you and guide you in this challenging life of yours. But He will not show up without an invitation. 

Open your heart and mind to the Holy Spirit's leading and watch everything about your life be transformed. Nothing compares to the glorious life that awaits you as a Spirit-led believer who knows how to navigate every challenge, every problem and every person who comes against you. With God on your side, you will be blessed with every good and perfect gift. You will walk in confidence because Jesus walks with you. 

You have a power available that can give you joy and peace. It's a power that will make you victorious over every difficulty. No matter how crazy this world gets, you will see God at work in your life when you welcome the Holy Spirit. 

I don't fit in to this world because there's something in me that is not of this world. God leads me to think, speak and act according to His rules and expectations. And that is why I find myself to be the odd- man-out at times. But that's okay. I would rather be right with God than to be right with this crazy, immoral, upside-down world. 

How to Respond to Toxic People (God's Way) + LIVE Q&A

Toxic people are all around us-- at work, at church, in the places we go to relax, and among our friends and families. No one gets through life without saying, "Something is seriously off with her." 

Toxic people have a way of bringing out the worst in us, and eventually you will reach a point where you can't take anymore. 

Lies, manipulation, hostility, and gaslighting are the tactics of toxic people. They will always deflect any responsibility for their bad behavior onto you, in order to make you look like the problem. Toxic people are self-centered, insecure, and spiritually immature. They are hurting people who relieve their hurt by putting it on you. 

This excellent video offers biblical ways to manage your reactions to toxic people. The truth is that they don't care about you in any way. They don't care what you think or if you get hurt. If something about you does not line up with their motive or narrative, then a toxic person sees you as the enemy. And nothing you say or do can change their attitude. 

When someone has a proven track record of being hostile, self-centered, unreliable, manipulative, vindictive, controlling and defensive, you would be wise to consider the source when dealing with a toxic person. They will never see your side of any situation or care about your perspective. Their own wants and needs are the only thing that matters to them. 

When dealing with a toxic person, the battle does not belong to you. You are actually fighting against a demonic stronghold that has taken root within a person's heart. So let God deal with them. Know your triggers ahead of time, because a toxic person is a master at pushing your buttons. They will influence something that is already inside of you--a past hurt, a fear or an insecurity. 

Ask God to help you deal with any toxic person that you are forced to associate with. Allow moments of silence when you must talk to this person. Jesus said nothing to toxic people many times in the Bible. You might need to disconnect with a toxic person because they are negatively affecting you and infecting you. 

I have dealt with toxic people many times in my life. I wish that I had listened to this video forty years ago, but such things were not available then. Take the time to watch this. It greatly helped me. I feel better equipped to handle the next toxic person that walks into my path. I know more are coming.

A POWERFUL WOMAN IN GOD'S EYES

Our culture tells women to be powerful and not needy. We feel pressure to solve problems without needing anyone. We are told that we should not feel discouraged, disappointed, sad or angry. But that pressure to have it all together does not come from the Lord. 

Lately I am allowing myself to feel emotions that people tell me I should not feel. I am allowing myself to be vulnerable. Allowing myself to cry. Allowing myself to feel weak. Allowing myself to be honest with no regrets. 

I am learning that there is power in yielding, submission and surrender because my own way of controlling things is not power at all if it's not pleasing God. Letting go and giving God control is where my power lies. I can offer my opinion about the wrongs in this world, but I cannot change people or fix their messes.  

The pressure we feel to fix things in our own strength causes anxiety, shame, and an endless cycle of troubling thoughts. But we don't need to be on top of everything all the time. We shouldn't be ripping ourselves apart because we don't have it all together. 

God is there in our places of anger, shame and fear. He is waiting for us in all our messy places. He invites us to sit down and be honest with Him. God loves when we are needy with Him. Jesus can walk with us through every difficulty if only we would invite Him.

I invite you to watch this powerful conversation between four women who lay their hearts bare and share all the struggles they face in a world where women have a tremendous amount of pressure on them.

Women hide the most from other women. We hate looking weak or inadequate to other women. 

When we become so spiritually mature that we can be honest about our shortcomings and the places where we feel inadequate, there is a comfort and a freedom in that. A powerful woman produces fruit in her life, and she can't produce fruit when she hides her problems from God and from trustworthy friends. 

We all long for a support system, and life can be very lonely when we reject intimacy with God and don't talk to anyone about the things we are going through. 

IS HOLY SPIRIT IN YOU?

By Danelle Carvell

                                                        

                                                    

The walk is more pleasant when you have something strong to catch you if you fall. 

I often wonder how I got through the early years of my life. I know now that something was very much missing, and I wonder how life would have been different if only that missing piece had been firmly in place. I'm talking about the better life we enjoy when we invite the Holy Spirit to come along with us on the journey. 

The Holy Spirit is the third person of the trinity, which also consists of Father God and His son, Jesus. Through the Holy Spirit, God acts, reveals His will, empowers individuals, and discloses His personal presence. 

You receive the Holy Spirit when you hear the message of salvation, which is that the only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ, the son of God. When you believe that Jesus died for your sins and you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside you. He is the down payment of your future inheritance, which is seeing the Kingdom of God and spending eternity in Heaven. 

The indwelling of the Holy Spirit is like an inner guide that walks with you through each day. He will strengthen you, guide your steps and your decisions, and through the Spirit, you will feel God's presence and enable Him to work in your life. 

People who live without the Holy Spirit are left to their own limited strength and their own discernment and guidance. They cannot access the power of God in their lives and they cannot feel God's presence. 

So the question is this...Do you have the Holy Spirit in you, and are you sensitive to the Spirit's promptings? You can ask yourself three questions if you want to know the answer. 

• Do you catch and deal with compromise early?

People with Holy-Spirit-led discernment often find that what doesn't bother others will bother them. If you are often rejected because you don't do things the way others do it, or you don't think the way others think...that's a good sign that the Holy Spirit is leading you. 

Because you live in this world but you are not of this world, you will have a world view that is grounded from an eternal perspective. Everything that crosses your path will be scrutinized according to God's standards and you will make decisions based on the truth that's found in His word.

Because you have a higher standard for your life than others, there are certain things that you will not tolerate and things you will not want to be part of. There might even be places that you will refuse to go or people you don't want to associate with. Because of your high standards, you may find yourself being excluded from groups or gatherings. 

Compromise is when someone ignores God's principles and makes a decision to act dishonorably. When a Holy-Spirit-led person observes that act of compromise, he or she has no choice but to deal with it immediately. The indwelling Holy Spirit simply will not allow the compromise to go unnoticed and unchecked. 

• Do you consult God on decisions?

You must have a constant prayer life if you want to hear and be led by the Holy Spirit. He will guide you through each day, tell you which way to go, what job to take, where to live, who to marry and every other answer you need. If you always consult God when a decision needs to be made and you pray until you get an answer, then you are being sensitive to the Holy Spirit. 

• Do you avoid the trap of tradition?

Tradition is the act of doing things simply because it's the way that things have always been done. When you make decisions based on what our culture tells you, then you are trapped by tradition. Some people will do things because it feels familiar and safe. They are afraid to go against popular opinion and they easily cave-in to cultural pressures. 

You can't live a successful, fruitful life when you cling to tradition instead of being led by the truth of God's word. I asked my husband for a good example of someone who is trapped by tradition and he gave me a surprising answer, which I hesitate to share. It's a controversial subject that tends to offend people, but here we go. 

His answer was... "women thinking that they have to work in order to be accepted by our culture. Women in the workplace has been a disaster in many ways." 

Some people might hate hearing that so much that they stop reading at this point, but I invite you to hear me out. We do recognize that some women have no choice when it comes to being in the workplace.

 My husband was making an observation about mothers who would be able to stay at home if they made some sacrifices, but they choose instead to pursue a career over being full-time mothers and homemakers. The pressure to be seen as someone "worthy" can entice a woman to make that decision. 

I'm not sure that I could have handled being at home with my daughter for years unless I had been able to tune out the cruel and critical voices of our culture that constantly told me I was lazy and worthless because I wasn't making money.

The "disaster" that my husband was referring to is the stress that comes with a two-income family, the effects on children when mom is spread so thin, and the effect on the marriage and family when both parents are running back and forth to full-time jobs. 

I have a friend who believes her marriage fell apart because of the stress she was under while working full-time and managing a large family. The majority of housework and the children's needs fell on her, and she was exhausted all the time with the demands of her job and her responsibilities at home. 

All she wanted to do was cut back to part-time work, and their finances could have easily handled that, but her husband was not filled with the Holy Spirit and he insisted that she continue as a full-time career woman. 

My husband notices how stressed women are today. He often comes home with a story about the latest woman driver who honked her horn or aggressively passed him on her way to wherever she was rushing to. 

In the book, Home By Choice, Brenda Hunter does a beautiful job of describing the attack on motherhood that caused our culture to shift toward a mindset that has become the traditional norm we see today.

"For almost [six] decades, the mother at home has experienced a massive fall from grace. In their push for equality of the sexes, feminists, beginning in the sixties, launched a wholesale assault on marriage and motherhood that continues today. 

It began in 1963 with the publication of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique, in which Friedan stated that home was a prison for all those mothers in Suburbia who, having devoted themselves to child care, still feel empty inside and unfulfilled. 

Friedan wrote that many American women in the fifties and early sixties suffered from a "problem that has no name," which produced feelings of restlessness, loneliness, and desperation. Friedan felt that being "just a housewife" destroyed women's potential and caused brain rot. That she hit a nerve was evidenced by the media sensation this suburban wife and mother caused and by the subsequent huge book sales.  

Once Friedan had delivered her broadside on housewifery, it wasn't long before motherhood came under attack, and the mother at home, once the keeper of the family dream, came to be regarded as a societal pariah." 

Today, women feel like they must be employed if they want to maintain any feeling of self-worth. And perhaps the best at keeping that mindset going are working women. From the discussions that I have overheard, stay-at-home moms are often attacked by career women with no Holy-Spirit-led discernment. When you're led by the Spirit, you don't need or want to put down women who choose a different path than the one you chose. 

So when I say that being sensitive to the Holy Spirit means that you do not make decisions based on tradition, I am offering the example of rejecting a culture that says she's worthless unless she's employed. And that example came from a man. 

So to recap what it means to be led by the Holy Spirit... if you deal with compromise early, you consult God on decisions, and you avoid the trap of tradition (whatever that might mean for you), then you are sensitive to the Holy Spirit and His guidance in your life. 

I think of the Holy Spirit as my safety net. He's always there to catch me. I can't imagine life without Him and I truly wonder how others get through a single day without the peace-of-mind and guidance He offers. He keeps me out of trouble, comforts me and gives me confidence even when the whole world seems to come against me. 

There is no greater friend to have. 

HAVE YOU MASTERED YOURSELF?

By Danelle Carvell

                                            

When we master ourselves, we are set free from  stress we bring upon ourselves by our own doing. 

There was a time in my life when I wasn't even close to being spiritually mature. I had much to learn. And I'm still learning and making mistakes. I don't share these things because I'm an expert. I share because after sixty years of messing up, I have gained some wisdom and I believe God wants me to speak about the things I've learned.

Spiritual maturity is not what you might think it is. It doesn't mean that you can memorize scripture, teach and preach, or even that you spend hours in prayer. 

Spiritual maturity is mastering yourself. It's reaching a level of self-discipline and a level of spirituality that is about as close to Jesus as one can get. 

If you're wondering how you rate on the spiritual maturity scale, ask yourself the following questions and be honest about the answers.

• Do You Avoid or Seek Controversy? 

The answer to both questions should be No. You should neither avoid controversy, nor should you seek it. People often avoid controversial matters because they fear the backlash they might get for taking an unpopular stand. 

We should never fear the opinions of people when we stand for Bible-based truth. A spiritually mature Christian will be bold as a lion when she stands for something she believes is right in the eyes of God. 

On the other hand, we should not go looking for controversy either. If you like to gossip, which stirs up trouble, that is an example of looking for controversy. If you turn every discussion into an opportunity to bring attention to yourself, that's controversy. If you always have an opposing comment that starts an argument, these are good signs that you are spiritually immature. 

A spiritually mature person does not enjoy quarreling or focusing attention on herself. Don't be the person who interrupts someone sharing her struggles because you can't wait to make a point about your own. 

Be a good listener. And don't be the person who is always ready to argue because you want to look like you have all the answers...or you want to look like the one who always follows the most virtuous path. 

The urge to always stir the pot and cause trouble, the constant desire for attention, and that need to look like the one who has all the right answers...are all signs of spiritual immaturity.   

• Do you have self-control?

Self control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. It is the ability to control our words, our thoughts, our impulses and our cravings.  

Are you able to catch yourself just before you say or do something ungodly? Do you have control of your emotions? Can you focus on more important things when you're hit by all kinds of distractions? Can you easily say No to sin and Yes to God? 

When we are under stress, self-control can be very difficult. Most people I know struggle with this. Something happens and we immediately react to it and not always in a godly way. 

A calm person who is slow to speak and slow to anger is a spiritually mature person. This is one area that I struggle with myself. If someone hurts me, I can snap. I do calm down shortly afterward because I know I can't stay angry. But that quick negative reaction to the offense is difficult for me to control. 

• Are you generous with forgiveness?  

When you reach a point where you can forgive someone within minutes, hours or even within days, then you can consider yourself spiritually mature. We should forgive faster than someone can apologize. 

Forgiveness is not easy, especially when that offense is so hurtful it feels like a knife in your chest. It can be so hard to say, I forgive you. But that is what God calls us to do. If you call yourself a Christian, you have to let it go. 

Now, that does not mean that you must resume your relationship with an abusive person and pretend that everything is okay. If the issue has not been resolved, you have every right to feel uncomfortable. You have every right to stay away. That is self-preservation, which is not unforgiveness. 

What you do not have the right to do is to stay bitter and angry. Forgiveness does not mean that you should become a doormat and tolerate ongoing abuse. It means that you should not become a prisoner of your own bitterness. 

Why? Because when you hang on to bitterness and anger, you are the one who will suffer the most. It will make you sick, steal your joy, and wear you out. God knows that. He doesn't want you in that kind of prison. Letting it go is more for you than it is for them. 

I speak from experience when I say that unforgiveness will make your life a living Hell. You will turn into someone that your friends and family don't even recognize. You will feel tormented. And the only cure for your torment is to forgive. 

• Do you think eternally?

What we do for eternity is the only thing that lasts.

Thinking from an eternal perspective means that everything you do and say is weighed against the consequences when you stand before God to give an account for your life here on earth. You realize that you will have to answer for all your bad decisions. God sees everything, so you make decisions that please Him. A spiritually mature person will ask herself every day, " Would God be happy with this thing that I'm about to say or do?"

• Are you always willing to learn?

Prideful people can't admit mistakes. A spiritually mature person will admit she has shortcomings. She knows she is not perfect. We all have character flaws and blind spots and we should all be open to correction. Correction is what makes us grow into better people.

Some people act as if they will be totally destroyed if they admit their own failures. Insecure people can't handle correction. They can't admit that they have things to learn and they might have a selfish, greedy nature. Even when someone corrects them in a loving way, they can't handle it. 

God disciplines those He loves, and He often sends people into our lives to correct us. We need to be humble enough to accept that correction if we want to mature in our walk with Him.

A spiritually mature person will actually pray and ask God to search her heart for any character flaw that needs to be refined. And she will graciously accept God's correction when it comes.

Yes, that is a long hard list. But it's also an opportunity to see what you need to work on. Spiritual maturity should be a goal that we chase after. Psalm 119 is a beautiful psalm to read for those who truly want to mature spiritually. 

When we strive to be more like Jesus, we store up treasures in Heaven and we will enjoy those treasures for eternity. Will you be happy with your treasures when you get there? Or will you have regrets about your lack of treasures and the things you said and did that were not pleasing to God? 

PRIDE OR HUMILITY? WHICH DO YOU PRESENT?

 By Danelle Carvell

                                                    

The beauty of humility is the way it lifts up others as well as ourselves.

I've heard it said that you should never pray for humility because that's one prayer God loves to answer and you might not like the way He chooses to humble you. Another warning about humility is that you should never claim to have it. Nothing makes you look less humble than boasting about your humility. It's always best to let others point out your strengths instead of publicly doing that yourself. 

The definition of humility is "the quality or condition of having a modest sense of one's own importance." I can tell just by talking to people within a few minutes, whether or not they are humble. The clues are right there within the things they say. And if I get to know them better, I can also see clues in their actions. 

Humble people are teachable. They are usually good listeners and they have a teachable heart. That means that they can easily admit their wrongdoings, and they don't need to be right all the time. 

Many people are instantly insulted when someone corrects them. They become defensive. Instead of being thankful for any kind of constructive criticism, they go into defense mode and begin attacking the person who is probably trying to help them by calling them to something better. 

Disregarding the council of others is a sign of pride. We should always be open to someone's wisdom and their good guidance. Older people are often full of wise advice that we can learn from. 

But sometimes wisdom can come from someone younger. According to the Bible, we should not reject a younger person's wisdom because wisdom is a gift from God, and it's not unusual for even children to be extremely wise. 

Another sign of pride, which is the opposite of humility, is feeling the need to brag about your accomplishments, the many splendid things you own, or how successful you are at your job. I know a guy who often talked about his latest fancy car, the expensive restaurant he dined at last night, or the beautiful home he lived in. He was obviously trying to impress me with these things, but as Shania says, that don't impress me much. 

I've lived long enough to learn that when looking for a good guy, you must look at his heart and not his accomplishments. That beautiful house can't give you comfort when you're married to a man who so much needs to be admired by others. We should look for the sincerity in people and not be chasing after social status or material things.

If he's constantly name dropping and needing to hang out with the important influential people, then no matter how much you admire the guy, it won't be enough coming from just you. So expect him to always be out looking for the attention he craves. Living a low-key life and not needing people to adore you is the way God wants us to live. 

The word that keeps coming to me is "security." Humble people have a positive sense of self. They are content and secure about who they are and what God gave them. They don't need to play the comparison game by constantly comparing themselves to others and pointing out where they are doing better.

The best example of this I can think of is the way women relate to each other in the workplace. My friend is in a constant state of stress at work because she must deal with prideful women who are trying to outshine one another every day. These women just can't relax. They are constantly criticizing the quality of her work and setting impossible standards that she can't possibly reach. 

Women do this to satisfy their own egos. By making my friend look bad, they can feel better about themselves. Prideful people don't like to be outdone. They consider anyone who might beat their accomplishments as rivals and a threat to their position or success. It's a sad way to live. 

When someone needs to criticize the people who are doing better, that's an obvious clue that you're dealing with a prideful person. We should focus on improving ourselves, not on outshining everyone else. There is such a thing as a healthy competition, but competition is only healthy when we ultimately want the best for others as well as ourselves. 

If you are truly happy for those who are doing better than you, then you are a humble person. If you don't hesitate to hang out with "low-level" people, you can consider yourself humble. Humble people don't need to rub elbows with those who project high social status. And they don't hesitate to serve others in a humble way. Even picking up trash would be something a humble person would happily do. 

Humble people are also quick to forgive. They don't hang on to unforgiveness and resentment because they realize that they also have made big mistakes in life. They know that they do not have the right to stand up on a pedestal, as if they've never done wrong. 

But we have to be careful not to confuse humility with being a door mat. Even a humble person knows what healthy boundaries are and that it's okay to enforce those boundaries. The beauty of humility is the way it lifts up others as well as ourselves. If every one of us practiced humility, we wound not only be happier, but we would project that happiness onto others. 

This is the way God meant for us to live. Humility is God's love in action.

GETTING MY JOY BACK

 By Danelle Carvell

                                                

                                                                            

Sometimes a smile is hard to manage. But there's always a way out of your funk

..
                                    

I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like I need a one-way-ticket to anywhere but here. The past two-and- a-half years have been difficult. Today I packed a suitcase and had no clue where I was going. Instead of running away, I decided to write out my frustrations. 

Where do I start? I know that a big part of the problem is the state of the entire world right now. We are all stressed, and we've been stressed for too long. Everyone is longing for some relief from the financial stress, the strain of troubling news stories, the lingering fallout of Covid, family conflicts, and the tiredness that results from dwelling on these negative things.

Today I considered taking a break from hosting our family Thanksgiving dinner because I'm just plain tired. Now is about the time when I sent out invites. We do it by text because it's just easier than making a bunch of phone calls. I started to type out my decision to skip the dinner this year, but I wanted to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons. So I decided to give it another day. 

I've learned not to make decisions from a place of tiredness, stress or frustration because I've often regretted those impulsive decisions. A single day can make a difference in how I feel, and I've learned to take my emotions to God and soak in His presence before saying or doing something that's reactive to stress. 

The truth is, I feel like the joy has been sucked out of me. The Bible says that the joy of the Lord is our strength, so if you have no joy, you have no strength. Look at any depressed person and you will see someone who lays around with no desire to do much of anything. They've become "unplugged" from their energy source, and they often don't know how to fix the problem.

Fortunately, I do know how to fix the problem. That's why I've locked myself in my bedroom today, first to write out my frustrations and clear my head, and second to spend time soaking up my energy source and get plugged back into God and His word. I know that negative thinking is what has caused my tiredness and lack of joy. The mind is very powerful, and the body will shut down if we allow negative thought patterns to play like a broken record day after day. 

Negative mindsets can appear to be demonic oppression. Negative thinking can also cause depression, and the answer to curing that depression is sometimes as simple as practicing spiritual discipline. You have to be faithful and develop a new way of thinking. Sometimes our lack of joy and feeling tired is actually a demonic attack. It can be difficult to figure out what's causing the way we feel. 

But I'm a Christian. How can I be influenced by demons? Jesus himself was taunted by demons in the Bible. He was just stronger than they are. Being a Christian is not a guaranteed protection against demonic strongholds. You may not need an exorcism, but you might need deliverance from the effects of a demonic stronghold.  

I recently experienced a demonic stronghold, so I know how powerful it can be. My stronghold was the result of dwelling on hurtful comments that had built up over the course of many years. I couldn't let go of these deep wounds because I need to talk things out before I can let something go. And I couldn't talk it out because I knew the conversation would not be well-received. 

So I kept the hurts bottled up and stuffed it deep within myself. It was like a simmering pot of bitterness that I carried around for years in secret. When the pot finally blew its lid, the mess left behind was so destructive that I thought my life and relationships would never be the same. 

When someone has a history of abuse, they can develop a kind of post-traumatic stress that makes them sensitive to further abuse.  All the painful memories of the past come rushing back every time the person feels disrespected or mistreated. They remember that horrible place they were in when the abuse was at its worst. And even if things have gotten much better, the memory of that pain is still there. Even if there has been forgiveness, the injury has not been forgotten and the scars are still causing reactions.

Because of my past, I am sensitive to lectures, verbal disrespect, negative facial expressions and body language, a raised tone of voice, being ignored, rejected or unappreciated. All of these things hit me harder than they would hit someone who has no history of abuse. For the same reason that soldiers hate fireworks, I hate careless words that leave me feeling bullied and belittled. My abuse was more verbal, than physical. 

So how do we break free from the bondage of feeling tired, joyless and beaten up? No Christian who makes Bible reading, prayer, worship, repentance, forgiveness and walking in holiness will ever stay in bondage. There is a way out, but you have to want it and you have to make an effort to break free. 

It starts with a daily decision to meditate on the word of God, spend time talking to Him and then as we go about our day, take every thought captive. You have to change your patterns of thinking and push every negative thought out of your mind as each one comes. What you think about controls how you feel and how you treat people. So turn off the trashy music, the trash movies and TV and stay away from people who love to gossip and criticize. Those things are like poison that will bring you to a low place.

I do have the power to pull myself out of a low place. I am stronger than I think I am. Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world. When the world beats me up, I go into a quiet room and draw from my power source. Without my encouraging, energizing power source, I am a victim. But with Jesus, I will always have victory. He wants me to be joyful.

"He will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee."  Isaiah 26: 3

"Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely or admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things...and the God of peace will be with you." Phillippians 4:8

AN IMPERFECT EASTER

"I'm encouraging everyone to put the Easter packaging away this year and to simply relish the kind of hospitality my mother taught me almost 50 years ago. Do you think that being authentic and putting aside "image" is attainable this Easter?"
                                                                    -Sandy  Coughlin
http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/celebrating-easter-imperfectly.html

http://reluctantentertainer.com/ 

BEAUTY OF THE HEART

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1975

What to Do When You Want to Give Up and Stay in Bed

She ends her post with an ongoing list of things she's thankful for. Turn everything back to praise. Not an easy way to live, but I believe it gives us energy. This is something I'm trying to practice. 
 What to Do When You Want to Give Up and Stay in Bed

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WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE HER

A great read for women who are feeling discouraged or who compare themselves to other women and wish they could have it all together like she does. 
http://www.agentlemother.blogspot.com/2011/11/if-i-could-only-be-like-her.html

A WIFE HE'LL CHERISH

Here's a valuable post from the blog Our Simple Country Life.  I'm guilty, too, of not encouraging my husband enough and of sometimes dwelling on his faults rather than his good points.  Christmas is a good time to make more of an effort to love your husband.  Here are some very good suggestions.
http://www.oursimplecountrylife.com/2011/08/titus-2-series-loving-your-husband.html