THE HEART OF A DIVA
Book Commentary

"Attitude is everything!" I'm sure you've heard that saying many times. Attitude affects what we do and say, which affects how people respond to us and what we get back from life. A bad attitude usually gets bad results. People with good attitudes are usually happier, more successful, and better able to handle life's ups and downs.

"The secret to living the life you want is all about attitude," says Michelle McKinney Hammond in her book, The Diva Principle: Secrets to Divine Inspiration for Victorious Attitude. Hammond puts her readers on the road to success in every area of life, from romance to finance, by mastering the art of what she calls, "diva-tude."

Today, the word diva is associated with selfish vanity, but that's not its original meaning. Originally, a diva was an outstanding woman. She was the ultimate woman of confidence and style. Hammond draws examples from the lives of some very special divas and translates their stories into everyday principles for living.

I loved this book. It was recommended to me by a friend who has read it several times and is still soaking it in. And I do mean "soaking" as she has confessed to reading it in the bathtub, which explains the crinkled pages. Hammond might be the wisest woman on earth. She addresses every bad attitude a woman can possibly have and then explains why it's to her benefit to change her ways and develop a whole new attitude.

Here are some of my favorite lines from the book:
"A diva keeps her cool when everyone else is losing theirs."
"Divas set fashion trends, they don't follow them."
"Divas are not moved by the opinion of others."
"A diva doesn't let a fool bring out the fool in her."

Hammond has opened my eyes to what it means to be beautiful in God's eyes. Every woman has three views of herself--her own view, the opinions of others, and God's view. But the only valid opinion of ourselves comes from God. Others can see us only through their own experiences, and the way we view ourselves is limited by our emotions and past hurts. "When we are in relationship to God, we begin to see through his eyes," says Hammond.

Oh how I wish I could have read this book and applied it twenty years ago. My daughter will certainly have a copy. Hammond's insight is so profound, it could transform a woman's life. As I read it, I thought of things that I had done and said in the past and I realized how poorly I handled those situations. I realized that if I had applied the diva principle I could have had a better outcome and walked away with more dignity.

" A truly divine diva knows that life is not about her but rather the contribution she makes to others around her," says Hammond. She suggests that looking beyond ourselves is the first step toward healing and getting through any kind of pain. And when people hurt us, Hammond suggests that we ask God to give us insight into their actions that will help us to extend grace to them. I loved that. It reminded me that sometimes people do and say things for reasons that we can't see, reasons that have nothing to do with us.

The Diva Principle just might be the best book I've read in a long time. It's a handbook for developing a woman's inner beauty that is so valued in God's eyes. And that inner beauty brings such grace and goodness to the world, every woman should make an effort to develop the victorious attitude called diva-tude. As Hammond puts it, "No matter how lovely the external, if your spirit, heart and mind are not in divine order, you're just another pretty face."

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

Inside of everyone is a longing to do something. Some people want to open a bakery. Some dream of being a professional photographer. Others want to design clothes. Everyone has a dream job but very few people are actually doing the thing they dream about. Maybe it doesn't pay the bills. Or maybe the start up costs are too great. We can always find a reason not to pursue our dreams.

But I believe that when we take steps toward that dream, things start to happen. I'm thinking of the yellow brick road as an example. Of course this is fiction, but it's a good example of how following our longings can enrich our lives. If Dorothy hadn't followed that road toward her desire to get back home, she wouldn't have experienced all those adventures or met so many interesting people. Sometimes we need to pursue our dreams just for the adventure it brings. And if we keep at it, maybe someday someone will take notice and doors of opportunity will open. Eventually that dream could become our life's work.

I can give you an example of how this happens. In the early nineties I started writing a newsletter. After several months of writing I sent a sample of my work to a newspaper editor. He liked my work and gave me space for an occasional column. That got my foot in the door for an eventual job as a staff writer. I soon left the job for a better paying postition elsewhere, but within a matter of years I had gone from writing as a hobby to writing as a profession.

Dreams do come true. We just have to set one foot down on that road and start walking.

NOT JUST COINCIDENCE

Have you ever received a godwink? Many people have experienced direct and personal messages of reassurance from God. Squire Rushnell calls them "godwinks" and he shares an amazing array of real-life examples in his book, "When God Winks at You." The book is a collection of inspiring and faith-building stories that demonstrate how God speaks to us through the power of coincidence.

The book was casually mentioned on Oprah, and since then has found a place on many nightstands, but only recently have I discovered it and I'm so glad I did. This book has strengthened my faith and reaffirmed what Rushnell says we can learn from it: "A mighty force is out there, bigger than all of us, watching over us, directing our lives."

As I read the true stories, amazing accounts from everyday and famous people, I began to recognize the godwinks in my own life, including one that was told to me the very same day I received the book. I was paying for a clothing purchase when I noticed the beautiful rings on the cashier's hand. She pointed to the ring on her pinky finger and said, "This was my mother's ring."

It wasn't the most outstanding ring she wore, but it meant the most to her because of the way she had acquired it. Her mother had promised that when she died, her box full of jewelry would become hers. But she had a sister who got to the jewelry box first with the intention of selling its contents. Through her brother's intervention, she did manage to at least keep the empty box that once contained her mother's jewelry.

One day while she was admiring the box and remembering her mom, she placed her hand inside and stroked the lining. Suddenly she stopped when she felt something odd. Looking closer, she discovered a hidden pocket in the lining and out of it she pulled her mother's wedding ring, the one ring that meant the most to her. She had been godwinked, given a sweet and personal message from the God who knew her mother's wishes and was able to deliver that ring to its rightful owner.

Reading Rushnell's book gives me goosebumps and brings tears to my eyes. The stories are simply amazing. "God validates His presence in our lives through small extraordinary events...We need to pay attention to these spirit connections in life," he claims. After reading just a few of the stories, I remembered the most recent godwink in my own life. It happened when I was feeling unappreciated. I was doing many things for many people, at home and elsewhere. But I felt that no one appreciated my effort. Disheartened and discouraged I walked out the door without a word to anyone and headed for the mall.

I've learned not to get out the credit card at times like that. A walk around the mall, some time to think and maybe a soft pretzel would make me feel better. After two hours of window shopping, scanning the book store, and people watching, I was ready to go home. But after downing a lemonade with my pretzel, a trip to the ladies room was needed. When I came out of the bathroom something caught my eye. It was red. As I walked closer, my spirits lifted as I recognized a familiar pair of earrings hanging on a circular display. I had been to this area of the store before and I knew it was where they sold marked-down earrings.

The earrings looked familiar because a month ago I had longed to buy that exact pair. For ten minutes I had debated spending the money on that bright set of red dangly earrings. I absolutely loved them. They were so "me". And I wanted them badly. But the price was the only thing making them undesirable. Now here those earrings were, just one pair on a bargain rack as if they were waiting just for me. When I saw the price on back, I knew they were mine--two dollars!

Even then, before I read the book, I felt those earrings were a gift from God but I didn't know to call them a godwink, a little wink saying, "Hey kid! I'm thinking of you...right now!" He knew I was feeling unappreciated and He wanted to give me a token of His love. And He did it by giving me something He knew I wanted. He was there that day I longed for those earrings but walked away without them. He knows the desires of my heart.

Godwinks are happening every day. Reading Rushnell's book has made me more aware of them and more open to receiving them. From now on, when God winks at me, I'll definitely know.

BRINGING OUT THE TIGER

I've been hearing people say that they'd like to have more courage. Call it self-esteem, guts, nerve, gumption, spunk, confidence, there are many names for that quality we need to get things done in life. Without courage, we miss opportunities that could both make our lives better and improve the lives of others.

One thing I've discovered about courage is that it's not some magical quality that only certain people are blessed to have. Everyone has the potential to be courageous. The difference between people with courage and people who back down is the thing that drives them. Courageous people always have something big that's pushing them forward, something bigger than themselves.

Life is difficult. Sometimes it's plain exhausting, and we can reach a point where we want to give up. It's during those times that we have the greatest potential to become courageous. Looking back, I'd say that my most courageous time was when I was a single mother. Being alone and having a child that depended on me drove me to do things I wouldn't have done otherwise. I had to be strong and I had to make a living, not just for myself but for my son. He was my driving force that gave me the courage to try new things. Going from a waitress to a news writer was quite a leap. But I knew I had to do it to make a better life for my son even though I was scared.

I think some of the most unlucky people in the world are the children of rich parents who get everything handed to them. That security doesn't muster up courage, it kills it. And those kids might never know the nerve they have because they're not forced to find it. Sometimes adversity is a gift...a gift of courage to get out of that pit. We reach a point where we can't take another minute and we become so fiercely courageous that we make things happen...good things.

That's the thing about courage, it makes good things happen. And if we can get our eyes off ourselves long enough to see the greater good, then we can put aside our fears and doubts and step out of our comfort zones. The greatest things we'll ever achieve aren't waiting for us in the comfort zone. To achieve great things we have to wrestle with stage fright. We have to go where things aren't easy. And little by little we make a place for ourselves there until one day we feel like we actually belong.

The value of courage is the improvement it brings. Without courage, nothing grows, nothing is born and nothing gets better. So when something drives us to do something courageous, we have to be thankful for it even if it's something unpleasant like a divorce or a job loss. Without those things we wouldn't have developed the courage to improve our lives. And I believe that's one reason why God allows those things to happen, even to good people. God knows that there's a tiger in all of us, and he knows what it takes to bring it out.

God also allows adversity so it can draw us closer to Him. He wants to teach us about His love and faithfulness. When things are going great we tend to leave God out of the picture, but when we're broken we look up and fall to our knees. We need his fellowship and His presence. When adversity strikes, turning to God is the first thing we should do. When we remain focused on Him and not on our circumstances, we gain strength. By surrendering our selfish desires and allowing God to guide us through the problem, we'll get past the pain much quicker than if we fuss and fume and question. By staying close to God through prayer and reading the bible we find courage, guidance, and comfort... the three things we need most when we're hurting.

THE BEAUTY OF BOUNDARIES

When I get myself into trouble, it's often because I overstepped my boundaries. I voiced my opinion when it wasn't my place. I told someone to do something when it wasn't my right. Or I took on a responsibility that actually belonged to someone else. When I overstep my boundaries someone always notices and almost every time someone gets hurt. Over the years I've learned to be more aware of boundaries and the importance of respecting them.

But when I was younger and less experienced, I often overstepped my boundaries and I learned some painful lessons. One example is the time I assumed that I would be included in my best friend's wedding. She was living in another state, but we had been very close for years before she moved. In a letter she said, "I need you here for me." From that I assumed she was asking me to be a bridesmaid. How difficult it must have been for her to explain that she already had chosen her bridesmaids. They were the new friends she had made since moving away. Needless to say, I was hurt. But I brought that hurt on myself by assuming something I shouldn't have.

If you haven't heard the saying about what happens when we ASSUME, ask someone. We can overstep our boundaries simply with our expectations: "Well if it's not done my way then I don't want anything to do with it." We expect certain decisions to be made. We want things done a certain way to suit ourselves, and if we don't get our way then we turn our backs on the whole idea. We make it all about us or all about our own opinions and we forget who's really in charge. Through our selfishness we disrespect those rightful decisions. And if we back out when it doesn't go our way, we miss everything. The loss is ours. If I had allowed my hurt feelings to stop me from traveling to my friend's wedding, I would have missed a great weekend.

One question that I've learned to ask myself is, "Am I responsible for this?" In other words, if someone does something wrong, am I the person who should correct it? If something needs to be done, am I the person responsible? And if something needs to be said, am I the one who should speak? By asking myself these questions, I see more clearly what my role is and I can catch myself from stepping into something that's outside my realm of responsibility.

Overstepping our boundaries isn't always a mean-spirited mistake. Often, it's our enthusiasm or our willingness to help that gets us into trouble. Our intentions are good, but we soon discover that perhaps we should have held off on a decision. Trying to help with things that are outside our boundaries often puts people in tormenting situations. They don't want to hurt our feelings by rejecting the offer. But the truth is they have their own ideas and rightfully so because the decisions belong to them.

God is the originator of boundaries, so we must conclude that they are good things. The book of Psalms says, "You have set a boundary that they may not pass over." The author was speaking about God and how he set boundaries for the oceans by lifting the land above water. If God set boundaries for the oceans he surely has set boundaries for us. The Ten Commandments are a big part of those boundaries. But not every decision in life comes with a commandment. So we have to think about what we do and say and pray that our words and actions are right.

Boundaries are beautiful because they prevent hurt feelings, they prevent us from being embarrassed, they remind us that it's not all about us, and they keep us from exhausting ourselves with responsibilities that don't belong to us. Whenever we get our feelings hurt or find ourselves arguing about something, we should always ask ourselves if we've overstepped our boundaries. Without boundaries life is chaos, and when we don't pay attention to our limits we always pay a price.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

How many times has your inner voice been trying to tell you something and you ignore it? Then later you wish that you would have acted on that instinct and done something instead of sitting back. Intuition, a sixth sense, our conscience, there are many names for that inner knowing that we call instinct. Whenever something feels off, there's always a reason for it. But we make excuses and shove the feeling aside because we don't want to face what we have to do to address it.

Sometimes that off feeling means having to confront someone. Sometimes it might mean losing someone who's not good for us. And other times it means making a change we don't want to make. So we tell ourselves that everything is okay and if we give it time things will get better and that uneasy feeling will pass. But if our instincts are right, the feeling only gets stronger and by not addressing the problem, the problem gets worse.

God gave us that inner voice to help us make decisions and even to make changes when it's time to move on. We need to listen to our instincts and we need to act when something doesn't feel right. When we're not sure exactly what to do, God is always there waiting for us to ask. And he uses many different ways to let us know how to handle it. Sometimes he'll close a door. Sometimes he'll open a door. Sometimes he gives us peace about a decision. Sometimes we have no peace and can't go through with it. God speaks to us in many ways, but we won't hear from him unless we set time aside each day to listen.

We can trust our instincts when we're close to God because that inner knowing comes from Him.

KEEPING IT REAL Have you ever been around someone who just makes you uncomfortable? She just doesn't seem real. You sense that she's trying to appear a certain way-sophisticated, proper, whatever you want to call it. She's just not genuine, almost not human. And you find yourself keeping your distance because she seems to be analyzing your every move. In her book, The Life You Long For, Beth Moore says that the number one comment she's heard repeated throughout her ministry is, "Thank you for being real." Beth admits that she's disturbed by that comment. "Why would personal transparency be so exceptional among Christians?" she wonders. Then she offers her priceless wisdom: "People don't need us to act like we always have it together. They need help!" I'm not sure what women get out of appearing sophisticated and proper, but friendship can't be it. People are drawn to honesty. They feel comfortable around people who are real. People who've made mistakes and admit it. People who struggle and admit it. People who aren't afraid to share their mess ups and don't look down on other people's messes. Like Beth pointed out, the world doesn't need us to be sophisticated and proper, it need us to care about people with compassion and kindness. All my closest friends have one thing in common-they keep it real. We laugh together, cry together, and struggle together. None of us pretends to have a proper life. We openly admit that sometimes our lives are a mess. We fall apart and pick each other up. I see who my friends really are because they show me who they are. They admit their insecurities. They admit they have fears, doubts, and cellulite. And it makes me want to hug them not back away. What would happen if women just cut the bull and got real? We'd be dangerous because we'd be stronger. There is strength in numbers, but when we act like we always have it together, there's no one supporting us because who can relate to that? There's no one to pick us up because we don't seem real and in need of help. So we struggle alone in our sophisticated, proper world. "That bull is keeping us from a profound healing from God because it blinds us to our own needs," says Moore. Putting so much effort into being the best keeps us from really improving our lives and bringing joy to others. When we're not real, we're not alive. We're more robotic than human and we miss the real joys in life. We miss real friendship, real love, and real understanding. Let this be the year we cut the bull and get real. Instead of putting effort into being the best, being proper and sophisticated, lets put our effort into getting real and helping others. I believe it's one of the keys to a happy life that's blessed by God in so many ways. Keeping it real keeps the blessings coming.

...continued from last blog
EVIDENCE WORTH BELIEVING

Evidence of Jesus

The major world religions recognize Jesus as a historical figure-muslims, jews, buddhists and hindus. No other historical figure receives acclaim in other religions around the world. Historical documents speak of Jesus and countless historians testify to the historical reliability of the life of Jesus as reported in the New Testament. And these historians were not all Christians, some were hostile to Christianity. There are ten non-Christian historians who mention Jesus within 100 years of his life. And the story line about Jesus from these non-Christian sources lines up exactly with the New Testament.

Based on evidence supported by eyewitnesses, archaeology, and outside (non-Christian) sources, the New Testament is a reliable historical document of Jesus and His life. History reports that Jesus lived, was worshipped as God, was crucified, buried, and rose again. The tomb of Buddha is occupied. The tomb of Muhammad is occupied. But the tomb of Jesus is empty because he is the son of an eternal God. When he came to earth, Jesus was God in the form of a man

Jesus' miracles verify His claim to be God. Jesus turned water to wine (John 2:7-10). He walked on water (Matt. 14:25). He made blind men see (John 9:6-11). He made the lame walk (Mark 2:3-12). He multiplied bread to feed a multitude (John 6:11-13). He healed many people of all kinds of sickness (Matt. 9:35). He even raised the dead to life on several occasions (Mark, Luke, and John).

The Old Testament predicted Jesus. There are 191 Old Testament prophecies about the coming of Christ. They were written about 400 years before he was born. Non-Christian writers clearly affirmed that Jesus lived and then died by crucifixion. When he died, history reports that darkness fell and an earthquake occurred. And after Christ rose from the dead, he appeared to over 500 different people. If Jesus is a myth, this myth made quite an impact on a lot of people.
He even split history in two. Think about how we record time. B.C. stands for "before Christ." A.D. stands for "in the year of the Lord." Time is measured before and after Christ's coming to earth. Every time we write a date B.C. or A.D. we acknowledge Jesus Christ.

EVIDENCE WORTH BELIEVING PART 2

...continued from last blog
EVIDENCE WORTH BELIEVING

Archaeological Evidence
Archaeology offers compelling support that the Bible is accurate.
Over the years, many biblical civilizations have been discovered such as Babylon, Jericho, and ancient Mesopotamia. Also proven through archaeology are many people mentioned in the bible. The House of David inscription was discovered in 1994, proving that David was a real person in history as the bible records.

One of the most dramatic finds was a collection of tablets that record biblical kings in two categories: those who reigned before the great flood and those who reigned after it. Recent discoveries have confirmed the existence of Abraham, Isacc and Jacob, the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and the site of Solomon's temple.

Evidence of Prophecy
A prophecy is a prediction of what will happen in the future. The bible has proven to be completely accurate in predicting future events. For example, the book of Isaiah predicted Cyrus would be the king who would allow the Israelites to return to Jerusalem and rebuild its temple. More than 100 years after that biblical prediction, Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon destroyed the temple and the jews living in Jerusalem were killed or taken captive to Babylon. Then in 539 BC the Persians conquered Babylon and Cyrus, a Persian king declared that the jews could return to Jerusalem and rebuild their temple

Many prophecies given in the Old Testament are fulfilled in the New Testament. The Bible is the only book in the world that gives precise specific predictions that were made hundreds of years before their fulfillment. The Encyclopedia of Biblical Prophecy lists 1,817 predictions from the bible.

Evidence of Preservation
For 3,000 years, the bible has survived relentless, determined opposition. Yet even books written 100 years ago are out of print and nowhere to be found. Countless accounts exist to verify the bible's survival. One amazing account comes from Alexander Duff, a young Scottish missionary who was shipwrecked on his way to India. He brought 800 books on his journey, all of which were lost. When the shipwrecked survivors were safely on shore and sifting through the wreckage, only one book washed ashore. It was Alexander Duff's bible.

With so much proof of God's existence, you can understand why the bible states: The fool says there is no God. Next week I'll conclude with further evidence.

EVIDENCE WORTH BELIEVING

If you get the History channel, you've probably seen the program about December 21, 2012 being predicted for centuries as history's final day. This topic has a lot of people talking right now. With the world being in such a shaky condition, people are searching for answers. They're questioning their beliefs and wondering where they can find truth.

People who don't believe in God have some very good questions about Christianity and every believer should be prepared to answer these questions and present evidence for his or her faith. It's for that reason that my husband and I have started a bible study on apologetics- answering the questions people have about Christianity and presenting logical arguments or reasons why you should believe in Christ.

This is the most interesting bible study I've ever participated in. I'm learning so much and what I'm learning is so exciting I can't keep it to myself. In a brief explanation, here are some of the evidences we've discovered. This study could go on forever and we're hoping that it will. Read on and decide for yourself if the evidence is worth believing.

Evidence of God

Since Einstein, five scientific discoveries have come to light that prove the universe did have a beginning. According to the "law of casualty," the fundamental principle of science, everything that had a beginning had a cause. In other words, a universe that began requires a beginner. So you might ask, "Then what caused God?" Well, God didn't need a cause because he didn't have a beginning. God is eternal.

Astronomers have proven by their own methods that the world began abruptly in an act of creation. They can trace the seeds of every star, planet, and living thing. And this act of creation happened as a product of forces they can't explain. Natural forces were not the cause. Something outside of nature was the cause.

Evidence of a designer

The universe is amazingly fine-tuned so that humans can exist. For example, oxygen is 21% of the atmosphere. If it were 25%, fires would constantly erupt. At 15%, humans would suffocate. If our planet were smaller (like Mercury) it couldn't support an atmosphere. If it were larger (like Jupiter) the atmosphere would contain hydrogen, which is poison to humans. Also, the earth is just the right distance from the sun-any closer we would burn, any further we would freeze. And probably the strongest indicator that our world has an intelligent designer is DNA, a highly complex informational code. You can't have a code without a code maker.

Evidence of God's written word

The bible stands alone as the best preserved literary work of all history. Over 24,000 New Testament manuscripts have been discovered. And the oldest of the Old Testament manuscripts (the dead sea scrolls) were discovered between 1947 and 1956 in eleven caves near the Dead Sea. "But the bible is just a story book written by men," you might say. Yes, God used 40 men from varied backgrounds to write the text of the bible over a period of 1,500 years. Yet the bible has one central theme and one continuous message, which is presented in perfect harmony. How could 40 men from varied walks of life, from a fisherman to a king, write a book that possesses such unity of theme and message unless it was inspired by one divine God?

To be continued...

A SWEET ESCAPE

Yesterday I ran away from home...for five hours. It felt great to have five glorious hours all to myself to do whatever I wanted. No one yelled, "Mom, where are my socks?" or "Mom, when's dinner?" I didn't have to listen to anyone's complaints or pre-pubescent attitudes. It was a slice of Heaven and I plan to do it more often.

No matter how great a family gets along, every one in that family needs time away. And the need for solitude should always be respected. There have been times when I needed to be alone on the same day we were planning to go visit family or friends. Instead of going and pretending to be sociable, I chose to go to the library or the mall to be by myself and refresh my spirit. I'm sure that some people didn't understand my decision and maybe even took it personally, as if I didn't want to see them. But that wasn't the case. I simply realized that I needed to get away, and I knew that if I didn't, no one would enjoy my company anyway.

I can always tell when someone in the room needs a sweet escape. They don't want to be where they are. And in my opinion, they should have stayed home. It's nice to see family and friends, but my need to see them isn't greater than their needs. And if what they need is solitude, then that's what they should have.

Yet, for some reason, taking time for ourselves often comes with a certain amount of guilt, as if we don't deserve such a luxury. A few years ago, I dreaded going to the funeral of a family member. I was going through a very stressful situation, and I just couldn't bring myself to go. Yet I knew that my absence would be questioned. And I worried that I would appear disrespectful. I realize now that I was suffering from exhaustion and the stress of a serious life change. What I needed was rest. So I listened to what my body and mind were crying out for and I didn't go to the funeral.

We've had several family gatherings since then, and not a single person has asked me why I wasn't there. Feeling guilty had been a waste of energy. And I decided that from then on, I would take the time I needed when I needed it, no matter what event was planned. Of course, there are times when we need to push through, put on a happy face and make an appearance. But we know by instinct when we must be tough and when we can give in to that need for a sweet escape.

LIFE'S LITTLE MISHAPS

The weeks go by so quickly. I just realized that I missed my Thursday deadline. I've been trying to write every Thursday. It's now Friday night and I have no idea what I'm going to say. Throughout the week, I try to remember things I experienced or things people said so I can use that material in my blog. The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is those little mishaps that bring so much interest to life. You know those things we do that are annoying at the time but we laugh about later. My day was filled with those, including one I can't laugh about.

First of all, I almost hit a car that pulled out in front of me in Halifax. That's the one I can't laugh about. I must have come within an inch of that car when the driver pulled out of his parking space and into my path, forcing me to come down hard on my brakes. I really didn't think I could stop in time and was just waiting for the sound of crunching metal. Fortunately that sound never came, but I was ticked and I wanted to give the guy a piece of my mind, but then I remembered the times that I did stupid things while driving and decided to forgive him.

Then I tried to use a Giant coupon at the Weis store. The cashier said, "This one isn't going to work" and handed it back. She laughed with me and said she did the same thing once or twice. This was after I had spent an hour pushing one of those annoying carts that are so hard to maneuver. The wheels were stuck or something wasn't right because I couldn't push the thing to the left without lifting the back wheels and sliding them to the right. I remember thinking when I grabbed it, "I hope this isn't one of those stupid carts you can't push."

As I wobbled my groceries to the car, a runaway can of Ravioli escaped from the cart's undershelf. Somehow it ended up following me across the parking lot like a well-healed puppy. I turned around and scooped it up, hoping no one had noticed. At least it was a can and not a jar. Last week I almost popped a tire at the Wal Mart parking lot when I nearly drove over a broken jar of spaghetti sauce. It wasn't mine.

That reminds me of another grocery mishap someone told me about years ago. I can't remember who it was, but she placed a gallon of milk on the roof of her car so she would have her hands free to unlock the door. Then she drove off with the milk riding on the roof. When she got home, she was certain she had bought a gallon of milk. A few hours later it hit her what she had done and she could only wonder how far the milk had traveled before exploding onto the ground. And worse yet, who might have seen it? How many people would be asking if the milk made it home safely?

It's amazing how many mishaps a person can have in one day. My ravioli wasn't the only runaway item I dealt with today. I nearly hit an empty garbage can as the wind rolled it across the street. Then I drove over the curb at the Burger King drive-thru. Maybe that was God telling me I shouldn't be eating the ice cream cone I ordered.

When I finally got my groceries home, I was glad to be back in my warm house and out of the bitter cold wind. My husband made me a cup of coffee and I hoped my mishaps were finished for one day. But as I'm typing this, he told me that he found that container of tomatoes I was looking for. I knew I had bought two tubs of baby tomatoes but one had mysteriously disappeared. He found it in the bag I had just stuffed with empty grocery bags. Minutes later, my daughter said, "And we found a can of chicken bouillon in there too."

There must have been something in the air today, because my son just told me he locked his keys in his car at the gas station. Well I've done that too, with a toddler in the back seat and the windows up on one of the hottest days of the year. After calling for help, I remembered the spare key I had wired under the back of my car. That messed-up day cost me $40 to pay the guy that drove twenty miles to help me. Later I realized I had Triple A and could have gotten help for free. Some mishaps are just more mishappy than others as they seem to come in ever-worsening layers.

I'm hoping my layers are complete for one day, but it's only 8:oo. And now my daughter's mad at me for spending so much time at the computer instead of quality time with her. I think I'll go to bed early tonight. How much trouble can I get into while sleeping? Maybe a day like this will just spill over into my dreams. Oh well, there's always tomorrow. Tomorrow I can start over and have a good laugh about today. If nothing else, the day was quite entertaining, especially for the customers at Burger King who saw me drive over the curb. And it gave me something to write about. God can take even our mistakes and use them for good. That's why we shouldn't let those little mishaps bother us. They entertain, they make us laugh, and they keep us humble. I'm learning to embrace my mishaps. How boring the day would have been without them.

WORTHWHILE RESOLUTIONS

Happy New Year! Now I must remember to write "09" on my checks instead of "O8". The older we get the faster time flies. Our parents were right. Summers seemed to last forever when I was a kid. I think that was because I was so carefree back then. Life was mostly about having fun. As adults, our lives are so busy with responsibilities that time slips away from us. If we had more time to catch bugs, lay in the grass and watch clouds go by or build snow forts, then maybe time would pass more slowly

As another new year begins, one thing I'm not doing is making resolutions I will not keep. I'm not promising to lose weight, although I would like to lose the four pounds I gained over the holidays. But there are more important things to consider. And sometimes, when we get our minds on something else, the thing we hope for just happens... like losing weight when we become completely engrossed in a new project.

Here's the project: Make only three resolutions this year, but make them big and challenging. First, Resolve to love people, not things. On New year's Eve, I heard one of the saddest examples of loving things more than people. A young girl came home and told her mom that one of her classmates kept looking inside her shirts to read the tags at her back neckline. After several days of this she asked her classmate why she was doing this. "I'm just checking to see if you're wearing cool clothes or junk," she said in a sassy tone.

Kids are cruel. And they can either be corrected or allowed to act this way. If I caught my daughter making such a comment she would have some serious consequences awaiting her. When someone makes a piece of fabric more important than a young girl's feelings, that person needs a lesson in love or maybe she needs to feel loved herself. When we love things more than people we display a twisted sense of what truly matters in life. It can be a house, a car, a shirt, a vacation, or anything we want or value more than the people around us. In the movie, "Fireproof" a husband who finally realized what love is gave up the money he was saving for a boat. He gave twenty thousand dollars of his hard-earned savings to his wife's sick mother. Now that's loving people more than things.

Another resolution that's worth making is to speak less and listen more. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and they don't hear you because they are thinking about what they want to say next, and they respond to your response before you can finish a sentence? The book of Proverbs has this to say: "He who answers before listening--that is his folly and his shame."

Few things make me feel less important than a poor listener. And I don't want to be one myself. At times holding my tongue is the most difficult thing in the world. I have so many clever come backs that I could spew out. But one thing I noticed is that I always feel better the next day after holding my tongue. I'm almost proud of myself for taking the high road and it feels good. While in my memory, the person who stood in front of me shooting her mouth off sounded like a fool. But even when the conversation is a pleasant exchange among friends, we can learn a lot by listening more and speaking less.

The last resolution on my list is by far the most important. These three words have the power to change your life...Put God first. Whenever I overhear someone sharing a problem they're trying to overcome, I want to ask, "Are you putting God first and praying for his help"? So many people face life on their own. They stumble through each day with no peace. When a problem arises, they face it with nothing more than their own strength and their own understanding.

Rather than to ask for wisdom from the God of the Universe, creator of all things, some people put faith in themselves, believing that they are more capable and smarter than God. They think Christians are weak and in need of a crutch to get through life. But they are the ones who are stumbling. They walk through each uncertain day while God-fearing Christians live a life on wings. God carries us through every trial toward victory.

Why walk when you can fly? Needing God is needing a crutch? Quite the opposite is true. Seeking God allows us to toss away our crutches and take flight. Flying is freedom. There's a freedom that comes with putting God first. He promises to care for our every need when we seek him with all of our hearts. God's resources are limitless, and he can bless us with everything we need. All he asks is that we seek him first.

Seeking God means praying and studying his word in The Bible. Every one of life's problems can be solved when we put God first and follow his lead. What a great year 2009 will be if we make and keep those three resolutions...love people; not things, speak less; listen more, and put God first.

God wants us to have the best life we can possibly have on earth. The choices we make will either lead us toward or away from that blessed life. The Bible is our instruction manual, and every resolution I mentioned can be backed up with scripture. These aren't my suggestions, they are God's. The bible contains every resolution worth making and keeping. If we pick up God's book, read it, and do what it says, we will have the best year of our lives.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

No "Happy Holidays" for me. If anyone is offended by my saying Merry Christmas, that says more about him than it does about me. I'm not offended when I hear someone express his or her beliefs. People can celebrate whatever they want. I don't have to agree with their celebrations, but I should respect their right to celebrate and believe whatever they want.

Unfortunately, we are allowing easily offended people to dictate the way we celebrate Christmas. Some businesses are even canceling their Christmas parties because they don't want to offend co-workers who aren't Christians and don't believe in Jesus. People who are so easily offended need to take a good look at their motives. I would never deny other people the joy of celebrating their beliefs just because I don't have those same beliefs. As long as they can celebrate peacefully, why should it bother me? Why should I be offended?

I think it's all just an attempt to stop Christmas and wipe God and Jesus out of our lives. That's their motive, and it just proves to me all the more that Christmas is powerful. If the power of Christmas were not real, we wouldn't have so many people trying to stop it. What we need now are people who have the courage to say, "I will celebrate Christ anytime, anywhere and if you're offended, then walk away and go celebrate your own thing."

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Merry Merry Merry Christmas!

OURS FOR THE ASKING

Are you feeling the Christmas spirit yet? I put up our tree last weekend, but that's the easy part because it's in the basement, close to where the decorations are stored. I have yet to decorate upstairs. That requires an entire day of dragging boxes up the steps and then back down. I'm not quite eager to do that yet.

But I have enlivened my Christmas spirit in other ways. We made our annual trip to the Susquehanna Valley Mall. My husband insists on one special shopping trip as a family to be together and share the fun of shopping for gifts. He says it helps him get in the spirit and I get to pick the gifts I want instead of being surprised by things I must pretend to like.

We also made a trip to Wellsboro for that lovely town's annual "Dickens of a Christmas". We saw ladies dressed in Victorian-style dresses and hats, children in news boy caps, knickers and vests, and horse-drawn wagons clopping up and down the streets. The main part of town was blocked off to traffic and the sidewalks on each side of the street were packed with open-house shops, food vendors and crafters. Every now and then we'd come across a group of carolers who joyfully sang and wished passers by a Merry Christmas.

I was wishing I had dressed warmer. My face and ears were freezing, but when we needed to get warm, we scurried into a church for some hot chocolate and cookies. Some of the churches held Christmas programs throughout the day and the theatre ran three episodes of "A Christmas Carol," which we missed but it was nice to know it was there.

My favorite part of the whole day was when I stepped into the Historical Society building to get warm. We were on our way to a church at the end of town and I decided to seek warmth. Inside a well-dressed man gave us some history on the town of Wellsboro. My husband didn't get much further than chatting with him. I wandered off to explore the displays of old photos and interesting items from days gone by- A dishwasher from 1930, an old wringer washing machine. I even saw a photo of children stepping off horse-drawn school buses. Didn't know there was such a thing.

An elderly woman in a red hat shared some memories with us. She talked about tubes of oleo that had to be squeezed by hand to bring on the yellow coloring and how she got a job as a teenager driving a meat delivery truck. Her dad didn't like the idea until she came home with free meat and cigarettes for him. "Then he thought it was great," she said. That was during the great depression when food was rationed and tobacco was a luxury.

We ended our day with a warm dinner at a restaurant on the way home and a quick shopping spree at a busy gift shop. My mother-in-law bought me a bright red poinsettia and I satisfied my sweet craving at the candy shop. I was so glad I thought of going to Wellsboro and made the effort to plan a special day with my family and in-laws.

There are all kinds of things we do to "get into" the Christmas spirit- decorating, shopping, attending parties, dinners and festive events. But in reality, the spirit of Christmas is everywhere on every day we look for it. Because Christmas isn't just a time of year, a decorated tree or a pile of gifts under it. Christmas is a celebration of Jesus. It's the love of family and friends, and the joy that all those things bring us. We can have that all year round if we seek that love and nurture it. The spirit of Christmas is ours for the asking every day and forever.

AMAZING AND ALWAYS THERE
Book Commentary

All morning I wondered what to write about. It's been a while since I've written and I'm feeling a bit rusty. But on Thanksgiving day there's really only one topic that's fitting. But the subject of being thankful came to me in a most unusual way, so I'm passing it on to you in the same way I received it myself...through a book.

The amazing thing is that I was led to this book through another book. "Twelve Days Out With God" is an inspiring hands-on workbook that challenges readers to find God in our everyday lives.
The book is based on the passionate belief that God can be found everywhere we go and he is always willing to share himself with us. At a restaurant, a museum, an amusement park and several other places, readers explore their surroundings and record their experiences as God reveals himself in amazing ways.

The Library is where I chose to look for God in my next assignment, so I grabbed my workbook and headed to the new library in Lykens, which I hadn't seen yet. The workbook instructed me to start in the biographies section and just browse the titles until something caught my eye. Within minutes a very familiar book cover stopped my roving eyes.

"God Said Yes" was the title and what amazed me was the fact that I had held that very same book in my hands just days earlier. That book had caught my eye while looking through a selection of books at a gift shop. I had picked it up and read the inside cover and the back. I had paged through it and read some passages. I was even tempted to buy it. But the sad subject matter made me change my mind and I put the book back on its rotating shelf.

Now, here was that very same book staring back at me once again. Was this God's choice of books for me? It had to be. That's how he works. When something keeps falling into my lap, I've learned to pay attention to it. That book was begging to be read by me and I couldn't wait to discover why.

"God Said Yes" is the biography of Heather Hornback-Bland. At four years of age, she fell out of a moving car and was run over by her own mother. The tire crushed her belly and destroyed her internal organs. Since then she has had 187 operations to repair the damage done on that fateful day, a day her mother wishes she could do over. In a rush, she forgot to check the doors, something she had always done. And seatbelts weren't the rage they are today.

After reading thirteen chapters, I know why God wanted me to read this book. It's not just a book that inspires being thankful, it's a book about faith. Heather is in her thirties now and despite all that she's been through, she gives God credit for being there with her, carrying her through when she couldn't take anymore.

How can so many bad things happen to one person? This is a question her mother asks God. And even Heather reaches a point where she hates God. But even when she turned her back and walked away from him, he never left her. "Through all the grief, pain, and despair, I wasn't walking at all," she said. "He was carrying me."

If a woman who's been through so much can still see the goodness of God, what problems are so great in our lives that we can't overcome? As I'm reading this book I am encouraged by Heather's strength. Her life is a testament to the power of faith. One bad thing after another befalls this woman and she keeps going. She continues to find the joy of God working in her life.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for a God that can be found anywhere I look and expect him to be. He is actively involved and interested in every part of my life. He even shows me what books will inspire me the most when I visit the library. Isn't that amazing! Isn't God amazing?

WORDLY WOMAN OR GODLY WOMAN?

I can always tell when someone is more wrapped up in the world than in God. Her conversation gives it away every time. I recently attended a gathering of people I knew since high school. The women sat in one room while the men sat in another.

As I listened to the most talkative woman in the bunch, I noticed that everything she said revolved around three things: money and what it could buy, education, and accomplishments. She couldn't understand why my daughter wasn't involved in more activities. She even suggested that I become a "team mom" and get involved with her. Not only did she think my daughter's life was empty, she also had suggestions for improving mine.

For this busy woman, life is about accomplishing things that bring her and her family money and recognition. Nothing is more important. She's wrapped up in the world and all its values, and she couldn't understand how I could be satisfied without those things, or how I could deny my daughter a life of non-stop activity and accomplishments.

We live in a culture that says our value comes from what we do and how busy we are. That's a lie. Our value comes from who we are. And who we are is God's beloved children. God is not impressed by how busy we are or how much money we make.

The Apostle Paul had every reason to boast about his education, heritage, and training, yet he considered that all rubbish compared to knowing Christ intimately. But how do you tell someone that the world's values mean nothing to you? How do you make someone understand that you've chosen to work for God, not for money or recognition?

I wish that I had been better prepared for that conversation. But I'm not sure that anything I said would have been met by understanding ears. Until you invite God into your life, you can't see the amazing ways that He works. People who are wrapped up in the world think only of working for recognition and money. They don't realize that God's resources are limitless and living for Him brings blessings far beyond what money can buy.

Worldly recognition is nothing compared to being in God's favor. And when we value the fleeting things of this world, we invest in a life that ends in death. My life is in Christ. My investment will pay off for eternity.

THE REAL THING

There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. The book of Proverbs is my favorite book in the bible because it is so easy to understand and so full of plain simple truth that can be easily applied to our lives. The opening sentence above is one of those truths.

When I was younger, I had many friends who pretended to be my friends. Just having someone to hang out with was enough for me. Or maybe I just wasn't good at knowing how to spot a true friend. Today, I can tell within minutes of meeting someone whether she's someone I'd want to be friends with.

It seems the older we get the more we want to simplify our lives. And spending time in false friendships is a complicated waste of time. It's not about thinking yourself better than others, it's about wanting to spend time with people who will enrich your life, not bring stress. Having friends that don't have your best interests at heart can't enrich your life. They are not trustworthy. They're not willing to sacrifice anything for you. And they're not dependable.

When I was less selective about my friends, they brought me more stress than joy. Now I have friends who stick closer than a brother and a more peaceful, content life. The importance of the friends we share our lives with can't be denied. Friends who pretend to be friends leave us feeling empty and dissatisfied. But those cherished friends who stick closer than a brother are so uplifting and so good for the soul. Once we find them, we hang on to them and appreciate everything they bring to our lives.

I thank God for my friends and for the discernment He's given me to know a true friend. What a gift it is to have people who will look out for you with genuine caring and nothing phony or pretend.

A LESSON LEARNED

A LESSON LEARNED

You've heard the saying, "You are what you eat." Even more true is the fact that you are what you think and say. We can make ourselves miserable just by what we think about and talk about. I wasn't always aware of how thoughts and words affect my life. This was something I learned the hard way. About 18 years ago, I was a negative thinker and a complainer. And sure enough I was deeply unhappy. Complaining and focusing on the negative will always make you unhappy because you can't escape what you take everywhere. Our words and our thoughts are always with us.

I think the relationships that are most affected by thoughts and words are parent-child relationships and husband-wife relationships. Even families that sit in church every Sunday fail to discipline their thoughts and speech so that what they think about and say is in line with God's word. The bible warns us of the importance of speaking positive words and thinking good thoughts about people and life. But the temptation to dwell on the negative is always there waiting to bring us down.

Eighteen years ago I was the perfect example of a chronic complainer and a negative thinker. No one could do anything that pleased me. If I was invited somewhere, I would find a reason not to go and then when people went without me I would complain for being left out. I criticized people I was supposed to love, focused on everything I disliked about everyone, and felt there was something constantly wrong with my life. What was wrong was me and my big mouth and me and my dark thoughts.

Sometimes we do have reasons to complain. Getting through life without speaking a negative word or thinking a negative thought is impossible. But for some it's a way of life. And like a snowball grows as it rolls downhill, our unhappiness grows as we focus on the people and things in life that bother us.

Other than putting God first in our lives, I believe there is no greater thing we can do for our own happiness than to discipline our thoughts and words. If you don't believe me, try it. For one week refuse to think negative thoughts about any person or situation in your life. And dwell on the good, praiseworthy traits of others. Trade your complaints for compliments. Notice when someone does a good thing and mention it. Notice when something goes well in your life and praise God for it. After one week of focusing on the admirable qualities of others and the good things in your life, ask yourself how you feel.

I wish someone had told me a long time ago how I could change my life by changing my thoughts and my words. I wish someone would have told me how miserable I sounded with the words I spoke. My life was like a ball of dirt rolling down a hill and getting bigger each day. After living like that, I can't help but warn people about the power of words and thoughts. I would have been grateful if someone had warned me.

A DISCIPLINED MIND

When my friends and I get together we often talk about our minds and how forgetful we've become or how difficult it is to concentrate. We blame it on our age and the fact that menopause is right around the corner. But I know there's more to it than that. Speaking for myself, the problem is an undisciplined mind. It's something I'm working to improve.

I've spent years allowing my mind to wander. It's why I sometimes struggle to read. It's why I can't always concentrate when I'm listening to a speaker. I believe a lot of women struggle with this problem because a disciplined mind isn't something we're born with. It has to be built through teaching ourselves to focus on what we're doing when we're doing it.

A few weeks ago I was deep in thought while driving. As I approached a shaded area of the road I had to brake hard when suddenly a bulldozer appeared directly in front of me. When I was allowed to pass around it, I rolled down my window and told the work man that they should have some kind of warning posted because I couldn't see the bulldozer in the shade. He gave me a smirky grin and said, "Well there's a sign back there, Did someone steal it?"

I'm still not sure if I really missed that sign or if perhaps the wind had knocked it over but either way it's not the only example I could give. An undisciplined mind can put you in all kinds of embarrassing situations. And the inability to concentrate causes you to miss what people say. That's what bothers me most. I hate missing someone's thoughts. I hate not being in the moment because my mind is somewhere else.

The bible is filled with all kinds of wisdom and sure enough there's something in it about a disciplined mind: "Give your mind to what you are doing." Those important words are found in Ecclesiastes 5:1 I cannot allow my mind to go wherever it wants whenever it wants. I need to discipline my mind so that I pay attention, hear, and understand what's going on around me. And I shouldn't dwell on thoughts that aren't good for me.

When I catch myself thinking about the past or when my mind wanders during a conversation I have to redirect it. Sometimes it means apologizing to the person I'm speaking to and asking her to repeat what she said, but at least I'm dealing with the problem. With consistent practice I can improve my thought life. Of course I ask God to help me because He doesn't want me to have an undisciplined mind that thinks about things I shouldn't be thinking. He doesn't want me to miss pieces of conversations because that's missing life.

People underestimate the importance of controlling our thought lives. We spend a lot of time each day allowing our minds to absorb or ignore people, places, and things. And the things we ignore are the things we miss and sometimes can never get back. Our minds are what control our life experiences. A messy, undisciplined mind leads a messy, undisciplined life; that's why we need to give our minds to what we hear and what we do while it's happening. To live in the moment means having our minds with us not wandering.

LITTLE THINGS THAT SHOW WE CARE

I've had it on my mind this week to write about the little things people do to express care and concern for one another. And as often happens when I have an idea, I picked up a book today that is about that exact thing--creating an attitude of concern for others. The book is titled, "Things Happen When Women Care." I haven't read it yet, but it looks like a book I'll enjoy.

We all want to feel special, loved, and cared for. I don't know anyone that doesn't enjoy that feeling, including me. So to write about it, I only need to ask myself what makes me feel that someone cares. I'm guessing the answers are probably the same for everyone, but the order of importance might vary.

For instance, some people might easily overlook a promise that's not kept, but for me, following through with what you say you're going to do is just common courtesy. Of course, forgetfulness is forgivable, but when someone makes a habit of telling me they're going to do something and then not doing it, I feel they don't care enough to put action behind their words.

Another thing that makes me feel cared for is having someone reach out and ask how I'm doing. I don't mean the casual, "How are you?" that you get from someone as they walk by, I mean a phone call or a letter, something more personal. E-mails are better than no contact, but it's nice to hear a human voice and there's something really special about cards and letters that e-mail can't match. I'm trying to get better at reaching out to others. I don't call my family enough and I'm not good at remembering birthdays. I should call my friends more often just to chat. We don't realize how powerful a caring voice is, how much it can brighten a person's day.

One thing I am pretty good at is sending Thank You cards. Words of appreciation is something we all like to hear. I could probably send several Thank You cards a week if I were really good at keeping track of deserving recipients. Sometimes just saying it is enough. We never get tired of hearing words of praise, compliments or thanksgiving. It makes us feel appreciated.

Something else that makes me feel appreciated is a warm welcome. I've often walked into a place of business and felt invisible. Especially if it's a small business, people should be greeted when they enter. I remember a certain business that I frequented almost every day and not once was I ever greeted with a smile or a "Hello." This was a business that catered to children so I was there because of my son. But I couldn't help but form an opinion of unfriendliness in that atmosphere. Some people don't realize how much a warm greeting means to most people. If given a choice between two similar businesses and one has a friendlier atmosphere, guess which one I'm drawn to? The same one you'll be drawn to.

That's why people with a gift of hospitality are always surrounded by others and invited to so many events. People are drawn to them because they are so good at making people feel special and welcome. Those people have learned the importance of small acts of kindness and concern for others.

A friend of mine recently observed a man walking in front of his girlfriend. He made no effort to keep pace with her but walked ahead of her as if he wasn't even with her. She predicted the relationship wouldn't last. Women love those little things that men do to make them feel cared for-- you know the open doors, the pulling out chairs when they sit, and just being attentive to their needs. I still get a tingle when my husband opens a car door for me. Smart men know this about women and they make the effort.

Little things make a difference. Those who make that extra effort to make people feel special are often rewarded for it. They might have a more profitable business, a more exciting social life, more friends, or a girlfriend who's more likely to stick around.

So if we have so much to gain, why don't we do those little things more often? Every day brings opportunities to make someone feel special and cared for. Let someone go ahead of you in the grocery line. Hold a door open for someone. We call them "little things" because they don't require a whole lot of effort, but to the person on the receiving end of our thoughtfulness, those little things are big things.

SOMETHING FOR YOUR SPIRIT

What a beautiful day! I hope families took advantage of this perfect summer weather and enjoyed Father's Day together. My husband's side of the family planned a picnic at R.B. Winter State Park also known as Halfway Dam. I said that I had never been there, but as I walked around the park I had flashbacks of being there when I was a child. My family did a lot of camping and some of my fondest memories are of traveling with my siblings and parents to different campsites across Pennsylvania and other states.

At first we thought we were going to Knobel's Grove for the day, but along the way we discovered there had been a misunderstanding between my husband and his mom. He heard her say, "we're leaving early to get a picnic table by the pool at Knobel's Grove." But she claims she said, "a picnic table by the lake at Halfway Dam." They laughed and teased each other along the way about who caused the misunderstanding: his mom for saying the wrong thing or my husband for hearing the wrong thing. I sided with my mother in law. Listening isn't one of my husband's strong points.

My daughter seemed disappointed at first. "If there are no rides, then what's there?" she wanted to know. Within an hour of being there we decided it was better than any amusement park. I'd forgotten how much I love state parks, especially one like this with a beach lake. Sitting in the warm sand was like being at the shore. I looked out across the lake and marveled at the puffs of cloud floating across clear sky. The surrounding forest of trees were so deep green against the blue above. A cool breeze blew in from the lake which made sitting in the sun the perfect place to be. I watched the children play in the sand close to the water and remembered how much I once loved digging in wet sand.

My mom has old movies of my sister and I playing on a beach along a lake in Canada. We had rented a cabin there. I think it was near Quebec. I must have been about eight years old, and I recall my mom catching me on film walking up to my sister with a fist full of sand and throwing it up into her face as she was bent over. This didn't faze her. She just kept digging with her shovel. I guess she was used to such taunting from her little sister.

There's something about camping and sitting under tall pine trees or near a lake that is so relaxing. Today I was reminded why my parents loved that lifestyle so much. In the late sixties and early seventies it seemed that we lived in our camper more than we lived at home. The only thing missing today was the campfire toward evening, roasting marshmallows and making mountain pies. I can still see that bright kerosene lantern sitting on the picnic table and smell the scent of bug spray and burning logs. Some of my greatest childhood memories were formed while camping. It makes me feel like my daughter is being deprived of that.

She never drove for miles in the back of a van with three siblings and an eight-track of John Denver playing over and over. Okay well maybe the John Denver music isn't her favorite. Taylor Swift would be more like it. She hasn't experienced the fun of finding ways to entertain herself for hundreds of miles with games like license plate bingo. She hasn't had the joy of making friends with the kids camping next door, hanging out with them at the pool, walking around the campground, riding bikes, collecting bugs and making forts and bridges until that dreaded day when it was time to go home. I wish I had kept a journal of all my camping experiences. What a treasure that would be.

Being in the woods does something for your spirit even as an adult. My dad must have known that when he bought that little "Scottie" camper we hauled around from Canada to Florida and places in between. After visiting that state park today, I feel like my spirits have been lifted, which is something I must have needed. Last week it was so hot I didn't bother writing my weekly journal. Or maybe I was just uninspired. Maybe I needed a change of scenery.

I'm grateful for those moments in life when I'm pulled away from my daily routine and reminded that there's still much beauty in God's world. He provides places of refuge for us, and when we don't have the sense to go there ourselves, he sends invitations through other people. Sometimes it's a wedding invitation. Sometimes it's an unexpected request to attend an event. And sometimes it's a gathering of family at a beach lake park on a perfect summer day. Don't turn down those invitations. Because you'll hear about it later and wish you would have gone.

THE PRINCIPLE OF SACRIFICE

As I sat down to read today, two profound truths practically jumped off the pages of a book I'm reading, Angels At Your Service. The first: "The blessings of God will forever escape you if you murmur and complain." The second: "Your purpose in life isn't to meet your own needs. Your purpose is to be a tool in the hand of God to meet somebody else's need."

These truths hit home with me because I've been doing a lot of grouching about the hassles of life. I recently sent an e-mail to my sister complaining about being stuck inside all week and doing nothing but serving people and cleaning messes. My daughter has a bad case of poison and I've been drawing baths, applying ointments, and bringing her whatever she needs to be comfortable, mostly mac and cheese and mashed potatoes.

"I want someone to serve me." I said in the e-mail. Well it only took a day for God to set me straight. My resources of time, ability, and money are not to be squandered on my own agenda the book claims. They are to be used as a resource to meet someone else's need. When I sacrifice myself for the needs of others, only then will God move someone to meet my needs.

In other words, I must do two things before I can expect to receive any blessings: I must stop murmuring and complaining, and I must develop a servant's attitude and find joy in serving others. Even a prayer that is rooted in selfishness will never be answered. We must always be conscious of other people's needs.

The best example of this truth is the book of Job, who complains about his miserable circumstances for an entire 40 chapters. Then when Job prays for his friends, he receives an answer to his own prayers. First he stopped complaining and then he focused on the needs of others, and in that instant God delivered him and gave him twice the prosperity he had before.

What would your workplace be like if everyone took on a servant's attitude? What would your family be like if every member had a heart to meet not their own needs but the needs of other family members? Even leaders, managers, and supervisors are to be servants to their workers. Although some of them missed that memo, it seems. But the greatest leaders are those who are willing to sacrifice.

No project, business, or family can succeed without sacrifice. To accomplish anything, someone must be willing to give. As a mother, if all I think about is what I can get for myself, how will my family flourish? Everything that's accomplished comes from the sacrifice of a willing servant.

Some days it seems that all we do as women is serve, give, and sacrifice, but there are rewards to this that we don't always realize: we receive answers to our own prayers when we're willing to serve. God sees that we serve with a joyful heart and no complaints and he then moves others to fulfill our own wants and needs.

The entire scope of life runs on the principle of sacrifice. And only those who are willing to give without complaining receive the blessings God wants to give them. Until that truth sinks in and becomes a permanent part of my thinking, I'll continue to wander around in the wilderness, frustrated and deprived of life's joy and peace.

HUMBLE HAPPINESS

I Love Joyce Meyer. She's one of my favorite speaker/authors because she's not afraid to admit the mistakes she has made in the past. And many of her mistakes are things that all women can relate to. In her book, Woman to Woman she says: "To live in harmony, we must forgive quickly and frequently. We must not be easily offended. We should be generous in mercy and patience. We cannot be self-seeking, and that is where humility comes in."

I'm not easily offended, but I am easily hurt. Thankfully, I've learned to forgive quickly and frequently. I don't want to live in a constant state of sadness over hurtful offenses. It's no way to live and it makes life difficult for the people around me who feel they have to watch everything they say and do for fear of offending me. Touchy people are often avoided. It's just easier to stay away than to deal with the drama.

Some things are deserving of being offended. We can't avoid feeling offended when people are abusing us. But sometimes, like Joyce Meyer often points out, the problem lies within ourselves.
We lack humility and we are not generous in mercy and patience. We don't forgive quickly.

I guess it all comes down to being humble. Humble people are a joy to be around. It's the self-seekers that are difficult to live with in harmony. Joyce admits that she was once a self-seeker. She also admits that her life was miserable back then. But God taught her to be humble and now look where she is. There's a lesson for all of us.

LOSING MY SENSES

Longevity runs in my family, but I'm wondering if that's a good thing. Already I'm losing my memory, my eyesight and my hearing. I can no longer read the digital clock on the microwave while sitting in my favorite reading chair about six yards away. And after a trip to the grocery store today, I was reminded how my memory and hearing are failing me.

First I ran into my niece's new husband, Dustin, near the Deli counter. They were just married yesterday. We chatted for a while and as I walked away he said something I didn't quite hear and couldn't understand. As I tried to make sense of his words, I realized he said he was heading home to open wedding gifts. But by the time I figured out what he said he had already yelled, "See ya later" and the conversation was over.

Then a woman stopped me in the cookie aisle, looking at me as if she knew me. Her face was familiar, but I couldn't remember where I had met her, what her name was or anything about her. This is still bothering me! She talked about my son, Kody and how much he grew. Apparently she had seen him somewhere recently. I just shook my head and pretended I knew who she was, hoping she would give me some kind of hint as we chatted.

"I hate when that happens," I said to my husband that evening. "Her face was so familiar but I can't recall who she is." I suggested that next time I should just be honest and say, "This is embarrassing, but I can't remember how I know you." My husband rolled his eyes and said, "I think I'd rather just be frustrated about it."

I suppose saying that would make a person feel unimportant and forgettable, but maybe she would have appreciated my honesty more than my pretending that I knew her. I think I would be okay with someone telling me that I'm forgettable if they said it in a kind way.

It's funny that I experienced this in a grocery store because the one sense that I wish I could lose, my sense of taste, is still as sharp as ever.

This all reminds me of a joke I heard recently about an eighty-year-old woman who got pregnant and had a baby. Her friends just couldn't believe this and they went to visit her soon after she came home from the hospital. The woman wasn't eager to show them the child so they kept saying, "We came to see the baby," hoping she would take the hint. Finally, one of the friends couldn't stand it anymore and she insisted, "Please, we came to see the baby!" The elderly new mother took a deep breath, set down her tea cup and said, "Well if you can stay until he starts to cry because I can't remember where I put him."

One thing I hope I never lose is my sense of humor. I'll take blind deaf and dumb as long as I can laugh.

A WORTHY INVESTMENT

God loves a cheerful giver. What kind of giving did you think of when you read that? Most people would probably think of money, but there are many ways to give. Offering a compliment is a form of giving. And in today's fast paced world, who really takes the time to express appreciation? We say nice things about people at their funerals. What did we say to them while they were here?

Appreciation is a biblical command, not just something we should do. But doesn't criticism come so much easier than praise? We notice the things that bother us more than we notice the praiseworthy traits of a person. Appreciation is hard to express when we can't find anything to appreciate. But with a disciplined mind we can shift our focus to the positive and keep it there.

The truth is we all have annoying habits and things about ourselves that others might find irritating. To receive mercy for our own faults we have to forgive others for theirs. It's the law of sowing and reaping. If we sow unforgivness and criticism, we get the same in return. And then we wonder why we're so unhappy.

Yes God loves a cheerful giver because cheerful giving isn't easy to do consistently. But for those who make the effort whether it's giving appreciation, time, or using our talents and gifts to serve others, God also blesses a cheerful giver. Like a mirror returns its reflection, our giving reflects back on us and brings blessings that enrich our lives. When we give we invest in our own happiness.

IN LOVE WITH ITALY

Is it possible to fall in love with a place you've never been? For me the answer is Yes! I'm in love with Italy.

America is a great place to live, but Italy,...oh Italy, what a place to dream about. People say the light in Italy has such a luminous quality. "Perhaps the sunflower crops radiate gold from the surrounding fields," suggests Frances Mayes in her book, Under the Tuscan Sun.

Mayes is partly responsible for my fascination with Italy, especially Tuscany. When I saw the movie version of Under The Tuscan Sun, I was mesmerized by the scenery. I wanted to drive up one of those zig-zag roads lined with tall cypress trees and tour a 15th-century stone farmhouse. I wanted to look out over that lush green land of never-ending hills and breathe in the beauty all around me...sloping fields of red poppies, silvery-grey olive trees, sun-drenched vineyards and, of course, the sunflowers, bright yellow bursts of warmth and light. Italy is endlessly alluring.

When you fall in love with a foreign country, you find ways to bring it home. My wall calendar takes me on a photographic journey of Tuscany. I buy travel books about Italy and savor the photos, fantasize about where I would stay, where I would eat, and what sights I'd take in. And for the price of a movie rental, I can escape to Florence or savor the Tuscan scenery while watching one of many screenplays filmed in Italy.

A culture with countless charms, love of family is one of Italy's greatest. I want to sit at an Italian family's long table and hear everyone speak at once, laugh heartily, hug and kiss faces. Their love of food is another allure. Italians get excited about food. Just watch The Food Network's Giada DeLaurentiis as she tastes her finished creations. A slow surrender of total bliss comes over her face.

For Italians, food seems to nourish soul and spirit, not just the body. In Italy, the ingredients seem fresher, more rustic and real. They have more reason to get excited about eating. I don't picture Italian women buying food at a grocery store. I picture them gathering eggs warm under the hen, buying fruit and vegetables at an open market, and getting fresh meat at a butcher shop. When I go to our local market and auction on Fridays, I feel more Italian, but I draw the line at raising chickens.

Speaking of drawing lines, art is another reason I love Italy. Having an unfinished work of art on my easel makes me feel more Italian. Some of the greatest artists and writers of the last 1,000 years have hailed from Italy, specifically Tuscany. Perhaps Michaelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci were inspired by the luminous light. As both an artist and a writer, I feel drawn to a place where so many movers of pen and brush found inspiration. Mark Twain described Tuscany as "the fairest picture on our planet, the most enchanting to look upon, the most satisfying to the eye and the spirit."

A satisfied spirit? Is that the allure of Italy? Do I long to go there because it seems a place that would tantalize all my senses and invigorate my soul? Although my soul is quite satisfied, a change of scenery often does wonders for the spirit. I want to gaze upon colorful frescoes inside an isolated hillside abbey surrounded by oak, pine, cypress and olive trees. I want to sink my sweet tooth into a cool strawberry gelato and dip crusty bread into light sweet olive oil so fresh it hasn't been bottled yet. I want to take an evening stroll through a Tuscan hill town and touch the textured medieval walls as I walk through its maze of lanes. I want to hear Italian music drifting out of an open shuttered window and smell the morning cappuccino being sipped in an outdoor cafe.

Yes, Italy is endlessly alluring. I don't know if I'll ever get there, but I found ways to bring it home. Sitting by my fountain sipping summer berry frullati among potted red poppies takes me to an Italian garden. Discovering a rustic gold-framed print of Venice at a yard sale and hanging it in my dining room satisfies my longing. But my favorite way to bring Italy home is paging through an Italian cookbook, planning the perfect meal and treating friends to a Tuscan feast of Bruschette, Basil Lemon Chicken, Apple Bread Pudding and, of course, a sweet red wine.

There's nothing sweeter in any culture than sharing the things you love with friends and family. So even if I never visit the most enchanting place on our planet, I still have the greatest of Italian charms right here at home--love of family and friends. Reality isn't so bad here in my American homeland. But when I want to dream, I dream Italian.

THE STRENGTH OF WEAKNESS I love it when people admit their flaws. They instantly become real and approachable. I think of Rachael Ray as an example. She admits being a goof in the kitchen. She spills food, struggles with appliances and admits she doesn't chop an onion properly. And yet, people love her because she's real, not perfect. If she pretended to be perfect, I doubt that she would have the popularity she has or the success she has. Thus, her imperfection is a strength. Whenever I meet a woman who tries to be perfect I feel like there's a wall walking around in front of her. She's not someone I could ever get to know. She's unapproachable. Too perfect to be touched. With all the time she invests in appearing perfect, what time could she possibly have for friendship? On the other hand, a woman who admits her flaws is an instant friend. She's someone I can relate to, someone I can laugh with. She's someone like me--imperfect. Admitting her flaws is one of the most endearing qualities I think a woman can have. Only a confident woman can admit she's not perfect; while those who try to be perfect are often plagued by deep insecurities. Perfection is a cover up. As women, we don't think about our imperfections as being strengths, but they really are. I discovered this recently after returning from an event where I was supposed to lead a group of women. My mind was foggy. I couldn't focus and I felt inadequate. While driving home I decided I didn't have what it takes to lead. I was planning to step down. Then I read something that changed my mind. In 2 Corinthians the apostle Paul prayed for God to remove a painful physical ailment so that he could be more effective in his service. But God didn't grant Paul's request. Instead He said, "...I'm teaching you that my power will be available for your needs. When you are weak, My power will be strongest in you." This kept Paul dependent on God. In his trial he would be strong--not in his own power, but in God's power. This works the same with friendship. When we surround ourselves with caring friends, we create a support system for ourselves. These friendships make us stronger. But when we try so hard to be perfect and can't admit our flaws, failures, and mistakes, we appear not to need friends. We don't need a listening ear or a shoulder to comfort us. The wall is up. We can't risk looking anything but perfect. It's a lonely place to be. God created us to need not only Him but also each other. We're supposed to depend on others for comfort and encouragement. But if we pretend we don't need those things, who will want to offer it? Weakness is a strength when it makes us more dependent on God and more likeable to others. Most people can't relate to perfection. But when we admit our problems, we become real and people want to know us. The wall falls down and the welcome sign goes up. When we are weak is when we are strongest.

SILENCE AND SOLITUDE

Have you ever felt like running away? Or maybe locking yourself in a room for several hours with a good set of earplugs? Life becomes too much and you just want a moment to breathe. Time to clear your head. Peace.

Even Jesus walked away from the crowds at times to spend time alone with God. He went into the desert, into the garden, wherever he thought he might find solitude. And that is how he replenished his soul.

Why is it so hard for us to admit when we feel like hiding from the world? We don't want to appear weak or irresponsible. Gotta keep up the pace. Can't slow down. To demand time for replenishment makes us feel guilty as if we shouldn't need such a thing.

But human beings are designed to need such a thing. We need rest. We need time away from the demands, the constant pulling on our brains and bodies. If we don't get a break from that, our minds become frazzled. We become grouchy, impatient, or depressed. And our bodies become more prone to illness and exhaustion.

The busiest time in my life was when I was a single mother working two jobs and attending college. Anyone who's been a single parent can understand how difficult such a combination would be. A single parent with one job would understand. After two years of maintaining such a hectic pace, the smallest things became overwhelming. The mountain I was climbing became so steep I couldn't take another step. Then everything went black.

I woke up horizontal on the cold kitchen floor. My doctor told me I needed to lighten the load. I couldn't quit work and I couldn't quit being a mom, so I dropped a class. I learned to stop pushing myself so hard. I learned to say, "No" to people who expected too much and activities that stole my free time. I turned off the radio when driving and instead I talked to God and asked him to replenish my soul.

We live in a busy, noisy, crowded world. And sometimes we get so caught up in it that we forget to get away somewhere quiet and restore our bodies and minds. This is something everyone needs. Whether it's a physical getting away or a mental retreat to a quiet place, we need that time alone with God. He designed us to need solitude and be in relationship with him. But some people don't recognize the inner ache of an empty soul and they try to comfort themselves with other things. But the ache keeps coming back.

The next time you feel like running away or hiding somewhere, remember that what you're feeling is normal and healthy. You're not weak or irresponsible, and you have no reason to feel guilty. You're simply responding to your mind and body as they both cry out for silence, solitude, and conversation with God.

What have you done for your soul lately?

CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Have you ever heard the phrase, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"? I never understood what that meant until today. It is a bible verse from Ecclesiastes. While reading my bible this morning I noticed I had put a question mark behind that verse. This question mark bothered me, so I read the verse over and over, but I still didn't get it. I asked my husband what he thought it meant and he said it's about being thankful for what's already in your hand instead of wishing for more.

I've been doing a lot of wishing for more lately. Maybe God was trying to tell me something. But don't all of us wish for more? What's so terrible about wanting things and dreaming of a better life? As I thought about it I realized that it gets us into trouble because it takes our focus off of what we already have. Instead of being thankful, we feel restless and frustrated by what we don't have. God wants us to have peace and there's no peace in longing for things and wishing for more.

The more we have, the more frustration we have. To maintain a life of luxury, we must work longer hours, spend less time with our children, and omit the things in life that are more meaningful than material things, things like relationships and service to others. We're forced to push these things out to have time for keeping and maintaining our stuff. So we end up too tired to even enjoy the things we're working for.

God must watch the way we run around down here, working for things instead of people. He must shake his head and wonder why we value material things so much, when one strong wind could come and take it all away. And left behind is all the things we shoved aside so we could have the things that were swept away in the wind. I think that's why God sends strong winds. It forces us to focus on what's important. When all the stuff is gone, we see our children and our families. We see the people in our lives instead of the stuff.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I heard that saying many times. Today I realized what it means.

EGG LEMON PIZZA SUNDAY

I took my daughter and her friend to an egg hunt today. This egg hunt had been the topic of conversation for the past month. After weeks of anticipation, her expectations grew. But after it was over and we walked back to the parking lot, she said, "I thought this was going to be more fun." With about five kids attending per egg, some children walked away with not a single egg in their baskets, and my daughter was one of them. She said she did capture one egg, but someone stole it from her bag. Her friend managed to find and keep three eggs.

Sometimes life just isn't what you expect it to be. Disappointments are plentiful. We imagine wonderful outcomes, but then when the experience finally arrives we feel let down. The actual event didn't even come close to what we imagined it would be. Some people say it's life handing you lemons and they suggest you make lemonade. As we got in the car to go home, I wondered how I could turn this sour day into something sweet.

I remembered a certificate my daughter had earned for reading books. It was good for a free mini pizza at Pizza Hut. When I dug through my wallet, I discovered she had two of these. When I made the announcement, their reaction was immediate. "YES!" they shouted in unison while jumping up and down. My daughter's friend declared that I was "the best" of all her friends' moms. The day was turning sweeter already. We had two smiling, happy girls and a best mom winner on their way to Pizza Hut.

We thought the egg hunt was going to be the highlight of our day, but we had even more fun eating pizza and breadsticks, something I wasn't expecting. I thought about how I had tried to get out of taking her to that egg hunt. It was a Sunday and I just wanted to stay home. When I saw it was snowing, I was glad to have an excuse not to go. But she didn't let up and the weather didn't get me off the hook. The snow stopped and was replaced by sunshine.

As I sat across from these silly, happy girls in a booth at Pizza Hut, I thanked God for the privilege of being a mom and I felt grateful for those wonderful moments in life when we can turn lemons into lemonade. Sometimes it's the sour things that lead us to the sweet, and without those occasional disappointments in life, the good times wouldn't taste so special.