LETTERS HAVE LIFE AND POWER

 

            By Danelle Carvell                                                                        

Even one sentence can bring a little life to your day. 

I have a shoe box under my bed filled with letters from childhood friends, family members, and even people who came into my life for a brief moment and then I never heard from them again. I recently came across a letter with a postmark from 1981. It was from a young man I met while attending beauty school. His sister, Margie, was my favorite classmate at Empire Beauty School in Sunbury. The three of us went to lunch one day and I got to know John during a 25-minute converstaion before Margie and I had to head back to class.  

John was in the Navy and stationed in San Diego. He was home visiting family when we met. His letter mentioned that he joined the Navy to see the world and seek adventure. But in the next sentence he admitted that he gets depressed at times because he's constantly on the move so he can't establish any long-term relationships. He also admitted missing his family and friends. I could feel his sense of loneliness as I read his words. For him, writing to me was a way to ease that loneliness, even though we barely knew each other. 

Writing can be very therapeutic. Maybe that's why God gave me this particular talent. I need a way to clear my head... a way to decompress when I'm hurt, disappointed or frustrated. There's something about writing down my feelings that makes me feel better and a little lighter afterwards. A letter can ease our loneliness, help people to understand us better, and get our concerns across when we need to be heard.

I know someone who recently went through a painful break-up. He had a lot of regrets afterward and he needed to tell the girl why he had been so cautious about their relationship. So he wrote her a letter, took a photo of it and sent it to her. The letter didn't fix things between them, but it did get across to her and she is now better able to understand the reasons behind his guarded heart. And he feels a little less troubled by the whole thing. That simple act of putting a pen to paper brought some comfort to both of them.  

I was impressed by his willingness to communicate his feelings. From my experience, most men are not good communicators and I don't see many of them writing heart-felt letters. Communication can be just as difficult for women. So many people keep their feelings bottled up because it's just too hard to say it or get the person to really listen. So we stay quiet and nothing gets resolved. When problems aren't resolved, you can't really let go of them. They haunt you, and the chances are good that those issues will resurface and cause tension in the future. 

Sometimes people are difficult to talk to. Maybe they snap at you while trying to explain yourself, so you can't get your point across. Or maybe they are too hostile to be approachable for a face-to-face conversation. Or sometimes the person can't  admit any wrongdoing, so they refuse to discuss the matter. In situations like that, a letter is the perfect way to communicate because you can express your feelings without interruption and without the possibility of rejection. I have written letters for all of those reasons.  

One thing I have learned about writing letters while I'm upset is that I have to be careful how I word things. I have regrets about letters I've written in the past because they were accusatory and written in an attacking tone. It's easy to fire back when you're feeling beat-up and burned. But I've learned that the best response always comes from someone who does not feel attacked by my words. 

The goal in writing a letter has to be understanding why you are hurt by their words or actions. If your goal is to pound them with accusations, you are just wasting ink. What I do is remind the person exactly what was said or done that hurt me. And then I explain how it made me feel. I keep the focus on my feelings, so the letter doesn't become a total smear assault on someone's character. That only causes the person to get defensive. 

If we want good relationships, we have to communicate. Face-to-face conversation is the ideal way to do that because we can see facial expressions, body language and hear their tone of voice. All of those things are conducive to a better understanding of how a person feels. But sometimes, there are reasons why we can't talk face-to-face. In John's case, his reason was distance. He lived a lonely life and his circumstances made it difficult for him to sit down and talk to a girl. Writing to me brought him some comfort in his lonely world. 

We also can create a lonely world, even when we have people close by. Without communication, a relationship has no life. The Bible says that words have life and power. And sometimes the power to bring comfort to yourself is just one letter away. And the answer to bringing life to a relationship is as close to you as a pen. 

 

WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL

    By Danelle Carvell                                                              

A relationship that weathers every storm takes work. Some people just aren't willing to bend. 

Why are relationships so difficult? Maintaining a friendship with someone you don't live with should be easy, but it is not always simple. Maintaining a marriage is even harder because now you are living together while trying to get along. Two people with totally different world views and opinions come together under one roof. Every day brings new reasons to disagree. 

She's a bit sloppy and he's neat and organized, He's a driven overachiever and she's more laid back, She's carefree with money and he is strict with spending, She wants to attend church and he does not, She likes to quickly finish projects and he likes to take his time. And these are just problems that arise before the children come.

The differences between us make relationships challenging. Two people who were raised differently and had different life experiences are expected to merge peacefully? After being in failed relationships myself and after years of watching others fail in romantic attempts, I learned a few things on the subject. Our relationships fail for specific reasons, but we can work on improving ourselves, and hopefully that change will inspire improved behavior in return.

YOU PUSH OUR OWN IDEAS AND EXPECTATIONS ON OTHERS

I have a friend who left her husband because he was an overachiever who expected her to be like him. He pushed her to the point of exhaustion. I also know someone who moved out because he couldn't take the nagging about keeping their house in order. She nagged him about turning lights off, putting dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink, picking up his socks, and a list of other things.

It would bother me, too, to live with a lazy, messy person. I do need my home to be somewhat organized and clean. But some people are obsessive about the way they want to live and they push that obsession onto others. They expect more than the person is accustomed to or capable of. We simply can't expect people to be like us and have the same values, beliefs, opinions or habits. We have to find ways to meet in the middle if we want to maintain the relationship

YOUR HEART IS TOO GUARDED

Love has to flow in order to grow. People guard their hearts for many reasons, but the end goal is to avoid getting hurt or having to commit. I dated a man who was head over heels for me at the start of the relationship and then a few months later he started to pull away. Looking back, I realize he was avoiding commitment because of a broken past relationship.

He didn't talk about his past break-up, but I knew about it. He obviously had relationship scars and fortunately I figured it out before I fell hard for him. He also had some issues with selfishness. I recall my exact words when we broke up: "I think that you are an incredibly selfish man. Everything is about you....what YOU want and what is convenient for YOU. You don't stop and think about my schedule and what might be convenient for me. And I think that is selfish."

Bam! Game over. Surprisingly he agreed that he had been selfish, so I'll give him points for that. But his deeper problem was his guarded heart. People who guard their hearts deprive themselves of everything a relationship could be, and their non-commital choices guarantee a lonely life. 

YOU LACK EMPATHY

Empathy is identifying with the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another person. You are able to put yourself in people's shoes and understand what they are going through.  Empathetic people usually have a lot of friends. Everyone wants to be understood. But some people have little to no empathy, perhaps because they haven't experienced hard times so they can't relate or they just don't have the heart for it.  

From what I've seen, people who lack empathy often have a critical spirit and a tough attitude about life. They believe the answer to every problem is to pull yourself up and get on with it. And there are no excuses for staying down. If you don't get back up, then you are either weak or lazy. That is what an unempathetic person believes. It is a selfish way to look at life and people in my opinion. 

YOU OVER-ANALYZE AND ASSUME 

If you are a conscientious person like me, your mind is going all the time. This isn't a bad thing unless your thinking causes you to assume things that might not be true. Facebook might be the biggest place where we assume things about people. Because it is not a reliable form of communication, we can easily misunderstand a comment or assume that we've been snubbed because that person didn't respond. I have done this myself. But there is a cure for assuming, especially if it's something that is really bothering you. Go to the person and talk about it.  

YOU FAIL TO GO TO PEOPLE PRIVATELY WITH ISSUES

The Bible offers much wisdom, and one of the those bits of wisdom is instruction on how to handle personal conflict. We are supposed to meet the person privately and discuss any matter that is troubling us. But how often do we do that? It's just too hard. So instead of clearing up the matter, we ponder it day after day until it sucks the life out of us or causes built-up resentment. 

One thing we should never do is discuss personal conflicts publicly or in front of family or friends while the person is in attendance. This happened to me recently and I'm having a hard time forgetting it because it was so humiliating, and the thing I was accused of didn't actually happen. I could feel the anger rising up in me, but I had to keep my cool in front of my family. To put it bluntly, someone made an ass out of me in front of my family, and that is not a biblical way to resolve conflicts. 

Another thing we should avoid is sharing our conflicts on Facebook. I made this mistake myself and within a day I got a bad feeling about it so I took down the post. If we can't go to the person privately to discuss our gripes, then we should not air them publicly either.

Another mistake people make is getting too involved in conflicts that should be settled by the ones involved. Some people like to be the peacemakers, so they find their own ways to resolve it. They might force the couple to talk and then serve as a mediator. I learned that if you want people to resolve their conflicts, the best thing you can do is pray. Offer advice when asked, but don't become the ringmaster for people's personal problems. 

YOU HAVE A PRIDE PROBLEM

Pride might be the greatest destroyer of relationships because it makes so many other things impossible...we can't ask for help, we can't forgive, we can't apologize, and we can't see past our own needs and wants. Pride is like a destructive wall that comes between people. Someone who is a constant critic, giving lectures all the time, saying how things should be done, or expressing disapproval on a regular basis most likely has a pride problem. 

I know from experience that no relationship can survive the wall of pride. If you see yourself getting up on your high horse, ask for help from God to better communicate to the person you love. If you don't correct yourself, you will soon find that you are living with a distant stranger who does not want to be in your company. No one wants to be bulldozed by a bully every day. 

YOU HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM

I remember the last thing I said to a guy before I drove away: "You are an angry, hateful man, and I am tired of being your punching bag." I can't tolerate hateful looks on a person's face or harsh words delivered with a raised voice. I would rather live on the streets or in a tent than with an angry, cruel person.

Both men and women can have anger problems. I saw a bit of the Johnny Depp trial and it was clear to me that his wife Amber is capable of angry outbursts. She basically admitted saying hateful things to her husband. And now they are sitting in a courtroom. 

You simply can't expect love to flourish in an angry environment. It's not possible. And if you don't fix it, you will live with a resentful spouse and children who repeat your same angry mistakes. 

YOU CAN'T ADMIT WHEN YOU MESS UP OR YOU CAN'T FORGIVE

And here is a good place to end. An apology is like a healing balm that can restore a relationship. If we can't admit the times when we disappoint, hurt, or otherwise offend someone, then we have a pride problem or some other problem that prevents us from admitting our mistakes. 

No one gets through life without a list of screw-ups. If you think that you have, you are delusional. If you want quality relationships, you absolutely must learn to apologize. It is an essential skill. If you think that you do no wrong, perhaps you would be better off living alone, without a spouse or any friends...just you and your perfect self and maybe a dog. 

And if you can't forgive, you also have a pride problem. How many times has God forgiven you? I know from experience how unforgiveness destroys a relationship. Whenever someone hurts me now, I pray about it immediately because I know I need help in that area. I tend to rehash hurtful words and actions. I can't easily forget an offense. But I know that if I stay angry, I am only hurting myself. I remind myself of all the times I messed up and I say out loud that I forgive that person until I can get past the hurt. 

We may sometimes need to distance ourselves from abusive people, but forgiveness can always be in our hearts for them. We forgive to set ourselves free from resentment. We forgive because we mess up too. 

Yes, relationships take work and those not willing to put in the work do not ever experience the joy of a good and lasting relationship.   

 

THE JOY OF EATING DIRT

                                                                                        

               By Danelle Carvell                                                               

So many people I know feel like crap. And I'm not talking about older people. My daughter says she feels like crap every day. She's exhausted by mid afternoon, gets frequent headaches, has blurry vision at times, and deals with skin issues. She has undergone every test offered by our health care system and has spent a lot of money trying to figure out what the problem is. 

Yesterday she went to a holistic doctor and is feeling hopeful that she will finally get the answers she has been seeking for two years. Holistic doctors look much deeper and they test for problems that other doctors don't even consider...problems such a mold toxicity, parasites, candida overgrowth, and leaky gut syndrome. 

You probably heard about leaky gut syndrome. It sounds strange, but if you're not feeling well yourself, there's a good chance that you are suffering from it. After reading the book, Eat Dirt, I'm convinced that most people I know have symptoms of leaky gut because their lifestyles and the foods they eat would make it impossible for them to avoid it. 

We have a preoccupation with sanitizing everything in sight. Our food is over-pasteurized and loaded with GMOs and pesticides. We rely on antibiotics too much. The products we put on our hair and skin is loaded with chemicals. Our household cleaners are loaded with chemicals. All of these things come with a heavy price and the price is our health. 

You simply can't starve yourself of actual nutrition, eat toxic levels of processed foods, slather your body with chemical-filled products, use chemicals to clean and scent your home, and over-sanitize everything you touch without destroying your gut health. Seventy percent of your immune system is located in the gut. According to Dr Axe, author of Eat Dirt, all of the above mentioned factors plus an insufficient exposure to dirt leads to a breakdown of the intestinal wall, allowing food, bacteria and toxins to seep into the bloodstream. That's what leaky gut is.

I highly suggest you read the book yourself, but I did highlight what I felt were the important parts and I'm going to give you a breakdown of that below. For the sake of time, I'm making it a list. How many of the things below could you change about your lifestyle and food choices? And if you did change those things, would you feel better? Dr Axe believes that leaky gut is at the root of most of our health problems, including allergies, asthma, food sensitivities, diabetes, digestive diseases, arthritis and every autoimmune disease, thyroid conditions, chronic fatigue, autism and more.

HERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU COULD CHANGE TO FEEL BETTER 

1. Ditch hand sanitizers and use essential oils for personal products (Recipes in the book)
2. Reduce antibiotic use
3. Go barefoot and expose yourself to more dirt because the microorganisms in soil improve the absorption of nutrients, eliminate yeast overgrowth and improve bowel function.
4. Chew 30 times per bite
5. Avoid gluten
6. Take healing epsom salt baths with lavender essential oil
7. Drink chicken bone broth for its healing compounds
8. Move your body, get some kind of exercise each day
9. Stop using antibacterial products and give up your deadly addiction to sanitizing everything. Living in too steril of an environment makes our bodies vulnerable to disease.
10. Use household cleaners, soaps and detergents that are chemical-free (Recipes in the book)
11. Use makeup, hair and body products that are chemical-free
12. Eat organic or locally-grown foods that are not sprayed with pesicides, loaded with preservatives, or genetically modified. Do some research on GMOs if you don't understand. As a rule, if the package doesn't say Organic, you can assume it is GMO because they are so widespread in our food supply at this point.  
13. Avoid white and brown sugar, use natural sugars such as honey, maple syrup, molasses, agave or stevia
14. Lower your stress level. Emotional stress weakens the immune system
15. Get off unecessary medications. They all damage the gut lining.
16. Let your kids make mud pies and get their hands dirty
17. Eat seasonally and locally
18. Spend more time outdoors
19. Find other ways to manage pain besides taking a pill (CBD oil, essential oils, accupuncture, massage)
20. Eat locally-grown honey to boost your immune system during allergy season
21. Check your home for mold, especially in the basement
22. Use air fresheners and dryer sheets that are chemical-free
23. Stop eating processed, easy-made boxed and frozen foods, and start cooking from scratch.
24. Drink 8 to 10 cups of pure water each day (Buy a water purifier, don't drink bottled water)
25. Don't eat convenient bags of produce that are rinsed in a chlorine solution. If you see dirt on the produce, that is a very good thing. 
26. Learn about the health benefits of bentonite clay
27. Eat probiotic-rich foods such as kefir, yougurt and sauerkraut
28. Eat raw honey and bee pollen
29. Get a dog
30. Swim in the ocean
31. Take a good quality probiotic supplement
32. Take a soil-based supplement such as shilajit
33. Avoid emulsifiers such as polysorbate 80 and lecithin (especially found in ice cream)
34. Don't use canola, corn, soybean oil or any hydrogenated oil unless you want gut dysfunction. Switch to extra virgin coconut oil for cooking. Olive oil should not be heated.
35. Avoid deli meats with hydrogenated fats, gluten and nitrites
36. Microwave popcorn and nonstick pans contain PFOA, linked to cancer and hormone disruption
37. Take fewer showers
38. Drink raw,organic fermented milk from goats or sheep. (Or raw cow's milk from Jersey or Guernsey cows). Unorganic milks, yogurts, butters and cheeses are loaded with antibiotics given to the cows.
39.  Coconut or almond milk are good alternatives to cow's milk. Coconut is far superior to almond milk for gut health
40. L-glutamine is one of the best supplements for leaky gut (Take 5 grams of powder twice a day with meals).
41. Take digestive enzymes
42. Use almond or coconut flour instead of wheat flour
43. Learn all the foods that have hidden gluten on page 78
44. Avoid artificial sweeteners such as sucralose, aspartame, and saccharin. Avoid Nutrasweet and Equal, found in diet sodas. These synthetic sweeteners are chemically toxic and dangerous.
45. Eat organic, grass-fed beef and chicken or wild-caught fish, which are high in omega-3 fats
46. Eat more fermented vegetables and sprouted foods
47. Learn about the benefits of essential oils for relaxation and healing
48. Learn about medicinal mushrooms
49. Take blue-green algae or one teaspoon of spirulina every day
50. Do not ever use powerful weed killers such as Roundup anywhere, especially if you have children
51. Avoid chlorine in municipal water supplies and household cleaners

Learn about the damage of chemicals in your products such as sodium laurel sulfate, parabens, phthalates, petroleum-based chemicals, DEA, triclosan and a long list of others. Your favorite lotion could be damaging your gut lining, creating antibiotic resistance, and affecting your body's endocrine system, thyroid, pancreas and adrenal glands. Think about every single thing you put on your hair, face and skin. Are you polluting yourself every day?

That is a long list, and it would be expensive to do everything on that list. But small changes make a difference, and your health is worth the effort, especially if you're tired of being sick and tired. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT MOTHERHOOD SO FAR

By Danelle Carvell

After 60 years of observing mothers and 34 years of being one myself, I have learned a few things about motherhood. Happy Mothers Day to moms everywhere. Don't forget yours this Sunday. 

                                                                               

One of the things I love most about my children is their humor. This is what happens when I request a family photo. That's me in the back waiting and making comments. I did get my photo, and it's now my favorite.

                                                                          

Celebrate, praise and talk about your child's success and accomplishments.

Children need to feel valued and appreciated. That is something we all need actually. Saying, "I'm proud of you" is music to a child's ears. My heart aches for children who receive nothing but put-downs and criticism from their parents. That will scar a child for life. 

Sometimes an unhealthy competition develops, especially between mothers and daughters or mothers and daughters-in-law. This could stem from insecurity, which causes envy. That is another reason to build up your children and instill in them a sense of confidence. Encourage them to believe in themselves and their abilities so they never feel threatened by someone who does something better than they do or by someone who has something they don't have.   

Being happy for a child's success will teach them to be happy for the success of others, which is very important as they develop and maintain friendships. I see encouragement as one of my most important jobs as a mom. I haven't been perfect at it, but I do know how very important it is to cheer my children on as they navigate the challenges of life, and that shouldn't stop when they become adults.  

Don't be a controlling Mother

I've read many articles about what happens to children of controlling mothers. Those children end up feeling inadequate because they had mothers who stepped in to do everything for them. The child of a controlling mother will feel that she can't be trusted to exercise good judgement or do anything right. Without her mother's guidance she fears that she will fail. A child must be allowed to try things on her own so she can develop confidence in herself. 

I watched a mother literally pull something out of her child's hands and begin to work on the project herself. Big mistake. Let children make decisions and complete projects the way they want to do it. Let them pick out their own clothes and decorate their rooms as they wish. You want them to be independent some day, so let them get some practice in. So what if they make mistakes or it's not done perfectly. They will never believe in their ability to fly if you carry them through every challenge.   

Tell your children when you are struggling with any problem that could affect them.

This is a tough one. We don't want to burden young children with our adult problems. But we don't want them to feel that we don't care about them either. For example, if a mother is struggling with a health problem, the chances are good that the child will eventually be affected by that. The mother may not feel well enought to give that child the time and attention that she once did, which will leave the child confused. 

As a mother explains to her child the problem that she's dealing with, she must choose her words carefully, depending on the child's age. But saying nothing will only worsen the situation. Communication is always important. But so many of us are not good at it. Some things are difficult to bring up and even harder to discuss. But force yourself to do it, because eventually the child will start asking questions and by then that child might be so filled with resentment that you will wish you had explained yourself sooner. 

Know that we live in a culture that sets up mother/daughter relationships for failure.

For most of my childhood, my mom was at home. My husband had the same kind of childhood. His mom started working outside the home when he was in his early teens. We both saw the value of having a mother at home, so we made the decision to be a one-income family for several years when my daughter was young. 

We live in a society that is very hard on women. They are expected to be breadwinners, good housekeepers  and attentive mothers to their children. It is an exhausting role for one person to manage. Women are far more scrutinized in our society than men, and much of that criticism comes from other women. There is an intense pressure on women today and that society-wide dynamic is very much contributing to relationship conflicts.

I come from a generation that accepted mothers being at home. My daughter comes from a generation that makes stay-at-home moms feel worthless and lazy. In today's culture, women are praised for what they can accomplish and earn. Focusing on her family is not seen as an acceptable way for a woman to live today. 

My daughter and I grew up in different cultural environments with women playing very different accepted roles. How my generation viewed women and their roles is strikingly different than the way her generation accepts the roles of women. This difference between us could easily contribute to conflicts in our relationship. My life values and the things that I believe in could easily conflict with hers because we grew up in different cultures. The culture women grow up in will very much shape the way they see themselves, the way they see other women and the way they communicate. 

As our cultural values clash, women can easily become critical of one another's lives. I think this happens often, not just between mothers and daughters, but among women in general. I guess the key to avoiding it is to be aware of this potential conflict and to be supportive of one another's decisions and struggles, and to applaud one another's accomplishments. "Women are their own worst enemies," is one of my husband's favorite sayings. He notices that a group of men almost always get along better than any group of women. Women feel the need to criticize and outshine one another and men just want to get together to talk, burp, fart and drink beer (his words).

Life is not a competition, but unwise women often make it one. I am always happy for my daughter's success. I don't understand how any mother could be jealous of her own daughter for any reason. But it does happen, and the expectations and pressure our society puts on women plays a big part in that. My greatest responsibility as a mother is to love and protect my children. If I keep that in mind in every circumstance, there will be no room for cultural conflicts or any other petty problem. 

Being a mother is harder today than it was for my mother.

This is strictly my opinion, but I see a big difference in the way children relate to their parents. When I was a kid, I wouldn't have dared to talk back to my mom or dad. I respected them as authority figures and I did what they asked without question. I didn't argue because that wasn't acceptable. But today, our culture accepts kids being disrespectful and arguing with parents. TV and movies portray disrespectful children as humorous. We laugh at them, and seeing that over and over has made it acceptable. 

I recall no parent/child verbal battles in my childhood home. My siblings and I engaged in verbal battles, but my parents never dealt with stress from the mouths of their children. My dad would unbuckle his belt if we misbehaved and many times that is all he had to do. The shenanigans immediately stopped. My mom endured the stress of our childish actions, but she did not endure the stress of argumentative words coming from her children. 

Compared to the obedient way I responded to my mom as a child, my own children have verbally challenged my discipline and opinions. I blame this on the culture they grew up in. I used to think a child's behavior can always be blamed on poor parenting. But sometimes it is the result of a changed society and the strong influence of what children see as acceptable behavior in the outside world. 

Children make mistakes because they are learning and growing and finding their way in a chaotic world. Mothers must also learn as they go. We have no handbook to follow, only our instincts and what we learned from our own parents. We do the best we can. We must become good at both forgiving and apologizing because the hurt can go both ways. 

Despite all of its challenges, the role of mother has been my favorite role of a lifetime. It's the role I'm most proud of and the role that has brought me the most joy. I have amazing children. I can't imagine not being a mom.  

    

  

WATCH THE SCENERY IF YOU WANT THE JOY RIDE

         By Danelle Carvell                                                       

Seeing this sign was a source of joy during our recent trip to Florida. If you're not paying attention right now, you are missing one fabulous, historical joy ride. 

Are you feeling discouraged about things happening in the world today? Since early 2020, life as we know it has taken some major hits, some big changes, and most of them have not been good. A trip to the grocery store or the gas station is enough to make you wonder what in the world is going on and how bad will things get?

I'm going to share something today that will either give you hope or give you something to scoff at and roll your eyes about. Until now, I haven't had the courage to write this. But lately, I am seeing so much proof that I'm on the right track and I can no longer stay silent. How you take what I'm about to say depends upon your willingness to open your heart and mind to the truth. 

And the truth is that despite the price of gas and groceries, and despite the devastating fallout of Covid and the senile jackal who sits in the White House claiming that he's president, we have so many reasons to be excited about our futures and the futures of our children and grandchildren. 

What gives me this hope and assurance? Why have I been on a joy ride each day while others are living in fear and anxiety? The answer lies in what you fill your mind with each day. The first thing you need to accept is that God is real and He speaks through prophets. If you can't get past that truth, then you need not read any further. Go back to your uncertain life that offers little hope and try your best to be happy. 

You can at least look at a Bible and see that it is real, even though you have never seen God. So go to Amos 3: 7 and read what it says. Then read Psalm 105: 15. There is your written proof from the word of God that we should believe in prophets and bring no harm to them by mocking them. If your pastor has told you that prophets are a thing of the past, I would have to ask why you choose to believe a man over God's word. 

God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. If prophets are mentioned in the Bible, for what reason would they not be with us today? Especially now, at a time when we so much need encouragement from God, do you really think that He would remain silent? I don't follow a God who leaves his children hanging without hope and neither should you.

If you don't follow prophets or reliable sources of world news, you are missing the joy ride. You are missing seeing God's predictions and promises fulfilled each day. You are living in the dark because you are not plugged in to the only source of hope that's available right now, which is God's voice. 

So many people I talk to are without hope. Nothing but negativity comes out of their mouths. They think that the world is going to Hell in a hand basket and nothing good is happening to prove otherwise. Meanwhile, I can't wait to see what happens next because so many good things have already happened. These good things were predicted to happen by prophets like Julie Green, Johnny Enlow and Robin Bullock. 

Since February, I have been taking notes on the prophecies of Julie Green at Julie Green Ministries on Rumble. The other prophets mentioned can be found at Elijah Streams on You Tube and Rumble. Since February, at least 41 of Julie Green's prophecies have been fulfilled and all of them are exciting, good things that are helping to restore our nation back to greatness. 

If someone told you today that a wrongfully convicted man would be released from prison and then it happened, would you believe that person was hearing from God? If someone told you that Twitter, Disney, Facebook, NBC, Johnson & Johnson, Pfizer and others would be rocked by scandals, takeovers, stock crashes, and other exposures... would you believe that the person who predicted that before it happened was hearing from God?  

Everything I mentioned in the above paragraph was predicted by Julie Green weeks or months before that exact story showed up on a true news source. How many times can someone accurately predict something before it happens without help from God? He is restoring our nation by taking out the wicked leaders who have been destroying it for decades. Mark Zuckerberg, owner of Facebook is guilty of treason and it can now be proven. Many others will be exposed in the coming months and they will have "treason" written on them for all eternity. 

If you think nothing good is happening in our nation, here are some facts from the month of April: Facebook lost 200 billion dollars in one day. The evil empire called Amazon lost 204 billion and Jeff Bezos lost 20 billion of his net worth. Elon Musk is being used by God to make Twitter a platform of Truth. Disney has been hit hard financially as the truth about its sexual exploits of children is being exposed. Trump's Truth Social has become the number one downloaded App, taking Twitter's previous spot. More than 2,000 documents can now prove that George Soros and the Open Society manipulated countless elections in multiple countries. And this week, the film 2,000 Mules will be released, a movie that contains undeniable proof that the 2020 election was rigged and stolen.

So don't listen to the doomsday people who warn about food shortages and other gloomy predictions. While it's always good to be prepared for the worst, God is not giving us gloomy news. He's giving us hope and reasons to be joyful and celebrate. I suggest you tap into some reliable news sources, follow the prophets and come along on the joy ride. Because you were hand-picked to be here and witness this miraculous time when God is putting His kingdom in order. You don't want to look back and realize that you missed everything that led up to this great rescue. We are being rescued from the slavery of an evil system. 

As Donna Rigney said, "God will restore this land to greatness because He needs America to be great once again so it can be used by His hand to bless all other nations in the world." We are living in exciting times and we are blessed to be alive right now. Make plans for your future, open your eyes and watch the good things happen as they are predicted by the prophets. A knowing and understanding of the glory of God is coming to the earth, and we are headed toward a whole new way of living. 

Keep your eyes open, so you don't miss the fabulous scenery. 

CEDAR KEY, FLORIDA: ISLAND LIFE GETS NO BETTER THAN THIS

By Danelle Carvell 

Cedar Key Beach is small but uncrowded. You can launch your kayak off the beach and paddle to a nearby island. The sand is white and soft as powder. 

"We found the most relaxing place on earth with the friendliest people," I wrote on a postcard to my daughter. I was talking about Cedar Key, Florida, where the Hubster and I recently spent two weeks. I didn't know this charming island existed until I watched a video on a travel blog. I was attracted to its laid-back simplicity and its lack of a red light or two-lane highway.  It's quiet here. We spent a lot of time on our cottage deck watching the sun rise and the birds fly in for breakfast during low tide in the bayou. 

Cedar Key is a bird-watchers paradise. We saw pink spoonbills, pelicans and even a woodpecker who left floaters in my morning coffee. I don't know the name of every bird, but one of the best places to spot them is along the boardwalk path at Cemetery Point Park, one of the many nature trails on the island

                                                                

These funny-looking birds hang out near Cedar Key Beach, where they are fed heads and tails as fish are being cleaned and cut along the water.

I was reading a book and thought my husband was tapping a pencil on the deck behind me until I looked up and saw this red-headed bark pecker. Tree bark is not good in coffee.

Old Florida charm exudes from every corner of this quiet fishing village, described as "what Key West was more than fifty years ago."  You won't find a chain store anywhere on the island, except the Marathon gas station. The residents here want to preserve the charm of the place, so every restaurant, gift shop, and business is original and privately owned. People call them Mom and Pop shops. 

                                                                    

Island Arts is one of the many businesses along Dock Street. I was greeted by Lily, the shop dog who welcomed me by licking my toes.  

One of the many things I loved about the island is that everything we wanted to see is within walking distance. It felt so good to feel sunshine on our faces and get out walking. If you don't want to walk, you can rent a bike or golf cart. The only time we got in our car for the entire two weeks was to travel to a strawberry festival in Floral City. Floridians are serious about their strawberry festivals. I couldn't get over how big the event was. I never ate fresh strawberries in winter and I discovered peanut butter jelly and bacon burgers at the festival. 

Speaking of strawberries, the cottage we stayed in was across from a produce stand called Cedar Key Fresh. I was delighted to walk across the street and buy fresh avocado, pears, and strawberries. I peeled my first mango in Cedar Key. And if you're into seafood, your stomach will be happy here. Clams are a big business, but every kind of seafood is available daily, whether you want to cook it yourself or eat out. 

                                                                    

Pirates Cove Coastal Cottages was such a special place. Brian and Lisa were so welcoming, always asking if we needed anything. Brian was always smiling. You can tell they love their work. They have earned "Superhost"status from Airbnb and an award from TripAdvisor. I loved that the cottage was in the middle of everything fun.We could even walk to the highly-rated and uniquely-decorated open-air tiki bar, Low Key Hideaway. I recommend the Key Lime freeze. 

Our favorite restaurant on Dock Street was Duncan's on the Gulf. The staff is friendly. The food is stellar and the orange blossom beer is delightful. We had a favorite spot out on the deck along the water, where we watched people fish from the pier. Duncans has the best burger ever and the tastiest sweet potato waffle fries. If you enjoy live music, I was told you can find it here and at other restaurants nearby. 

                                                                

If you're into water sports, Cedar Key has just about everything--sailing, kayaking, fishing, even swimming, diving, snorkeling and scuba-diving at a nearby clear-water spring. Florida has the largest collection of springs in the world. Fanning Springs State Park and Manatee Springs State Park are close to Cedar Key. We didn't get to either one, so we missed the clear blue water and the manatees, but it's something to look forward to when we come back. 

One thing I did not want to do was kayak after our cottage neighbor told us about a 6-foot shark he hit with his paddle. He might have been exaggerating, but he had me at shark. He and his wife launched their kayak into the water behind our cottage. We watched them paddle home every night before low tide. They always had a fresh catch of fish. He said they ate fish four nights in a row.  

                                                                

They kayak to a nearby island to see the remnants of an old pencil mill from the 1800's. Cedar key has an interesting history, but our timing was bad every time we walked past the museum. I do know that the island was first occupied in 1839, when it started as a fort during the second Seminole War. It became the western terminus of the Florida Railroad in 1860, connecting it to the east coast of Florida. A massive hurricane in 1896 killed more than 100 people with 10-foot waves. But the island recovered at the start of the 20th century when industries such as fishing, sponging and oystering rose in Cedar Key. Clams are a big business today.

I spent some time reading the guest books that our hosts set out if people want to comment on their stay at Pirates Cove. I noticed many comments about how refreshed and invigorated people felt while in Cedar Key. The slower pace of the island, where no one is in a rush, made one guest feel "normal" again. Another guest called Cedar Key a "safe haven in our super-crazy world."

And that is exactly what it was for us. There is something about this island life that brings people together and brings back your joy. I have never seen so many smiling, friendly people in one place. People are really happy here and they can't help but let it show. The locals will tell you that neighbors don't hesitate to help each other. They know each other by name and they show up when someone needs assistance.

We would fit right in here. Our first night here as we were walking back from Dock Street, a woman stopped us to ask if we had a cell phone. She was out walking her dogs and it was getting dark. She had wandered too far from where she was staying and lost her sense of direction. A female voice said she was on her way to pick her up. I asked about her dogs and she said that her brother had died recently, so she took in his dog. That's why she has two. 

Even the dogs are happy here. This is one dog-friendly island. In the park one day we watched a pet parade, a yearly fundraiser that the the women's committee plans. The dogs were dressed in sequins and satin as they proudly marched around, being led by their owners. Whether you're a human or a dog, Cedar Key is a great place to be.

                                                                

Be sure to visit the Island Hotel while in Cedar Key. Rumor has it that it's haunted. We were going to just walk by, but we were invited to come in and look around during the off hours. A gentleman offered to snap our photo in front of the "scandalous" mural in the Neptune bar. (Mild for our time, but scandalous when it was first painted.) The Hotel is the oldest commercial building in Cedar Key. Some day we are coming back to ask about those ghost stories.  
 

                                                                    
 

 

                                                                

                                                  

WHAT DO YOU WANT THAT IS DIFFERENT?

                                                                                

My daughter got me an apron for Christmas after seeing my new-found love for cooking. We often go through seasons when we need something different. But different isn't better...unless it is what we are meant to have.

When I read something profound that I might use in a future post, I write it down. I have notebooks filled with future writing topics, good quotes and advice from anyone who speaks to my heart. If I hear something that should be remembered or shared, I write it down. Today I was flipping through one of my notebooks and came across two pages of entries that didn't seem to fit together because of the varied topics. But everything listed was something worth sharing. 

I don't always right down the source of my scribbled notes and quotes. So when I share it, I often have to change the words so I'm not guilty of copying someone else's thoughts from a book, magazine or wherever I saw it. The notes I came across recently could fit under the category of simple advice about life and the pursuit of happiness, so maybe they do fit together. 

The first thing on the list is sort of a recipe for well-being. It's actually a list of things that define our search for happiness. "Well-being (happiness) is a combination of love for what we do each day, the quality of our relationships, the security of our finances, our physical health and what we contribute to our community." The only thing I would add to that is knowing how much God loves you and pursuing that love through prayer and reading His word. That is the most important thing in my opinion. 

Love for what we do each day 

People who work more that 20 hours a week need a job that fills their strengths. It's difficult to enjoy a job if you are not doing something that you are naturally equipped to do. We all have strengths and weaknesses. One of my weaknesses is technology. Computer work frustrates me. My most stressful jobs have been those that involved learning work on a computer. 

I sometimes think I should have gone to culinary school or learned to be a pastry chef. I enjoy creating things. Writing is a creative outlet and the computer requirement is not difficult. What's difficult is making money as a writer. I have been paid for many writing assignments, but it was never enough to live on. Many artistic people have a hard time paying bills with the finished work of their creativity. That is where the phrase, "starving artist" comes from. It's just the way life is. 

Many people are stuck in jobs they hate because that job pays the bills. But their hearts are longing to do something else, something they love. People do manage to find work that they love while making enough money to live comfortably, but that seems to be a rarity from what I've seen. 

If you are looking to make a job change, I would advise you to ask God to reveal where you should be. Most people look for jobs based on their qualifications and they let God out of it. Perhaps that is where they go wrong time and time again. God can bring opportunities that are perfectly suited to your gifts, talents, strengths and abilities. He knows what gets you excited. He knows the things you love to talk about and what gifts he has equipped you with that could be used in the workplace. 

Pray to the purpose maker, and then be attentive for His answer. Look for signs of Him directing you toward a certain type of job or a particular place of employment. Letting God out of your job search means settling for less than His best for you. 

The quality of our relationships

Life is lonely without relationships. The world is filled with a lot of lonely people. How many songs have been written about the age-old problem of loneliness? But even if you talk to hundreds of people each day, you can still end up feeling lonely. Getting married doesn't always solve loneliness. Because it is the quality of our relationships that make us happy and less lonely. 

How do we improve our relationships with people or even find good people to have relationships with? That takes effort, it doesn't just happen. Two people in my family are married to someone they met on a dating app. I would not rule that out. God brings people together in many different ways. If I were looking, I would take advantage of all those ways. Meeting someone by a chance encounter is difficult because too many people walk right past you without saying a word. You have to talk to someone before you can start a relationship with that person. 

I know someone who prayed very emotionally for her husband when she reached a point of knowing her present relationship had no future. That prayer was answered very quickly and she is quite happy today.  If I were lonely, I would use every available possibility for meeting the right person. If that meant getting out of the house, I would go. If it meant putting up an online dating profile, I would do it. One thing I would not leave out is praying about it. I have seen so many examples of God bringing people together that can't be denied. But only praying people can see evidence of their prayers being answered. If you don't pray, you haven't earned the right to comment on its power. 

As far as improving already-established relationships, I think an important factor in that is forgiveness. Too many people have an unforgiving spirit and it makes their lives miserable. The thing about holding grudges is the way it affects the person who is hanging on to that hurt. The Bible contains many warnings about having an angry, unforgiving heart and all the problems that will invade your life when you do that. 

I know from experience how unforgiveness can make your life unbearably miserable. It can completely destroy everything good in your life. It can turn you into someone you don't even recognize. It can lead you down a path you never expected to go and burn bridges you can never cross again. It might be the greatest destroyer of relationships that there is. Forgiveness is often the first step toward improving a relationship. And one thing that makes forgiveness easier is a heart-felt apology. It is our own pride that is the greatest destroyer of relationships. We can't admit when we hurt someone and we can't forgive when we've been hurt.

Knowing how much God loves us and pursuing that love

My worth is defined by God. It is not defined by what I do, how much money I make, the car I drive, the house I live in, the way I look or the clothes I wear. My appearance and achievements are not what make me a valuable, worthy person. I shouldn't need applause from others to feel like someone special. But I didn't always know that. 

I didn't always know that my greatest purpose on earth is to glorify Him, even when I fail. The reason why I'm so open about my failures is because I don't care how people see me and I don't need their applause. Right now I am unemployed and I have been unemployed for more than a year. Covid pretty much stole my job from me when I stood up for my rights. But I have no regrets. I know that God is preparing me for something amazing, and the tough season I'm in right now is only temporary. 

People who know "why" they are living can tolerate almost any "how" they are living. In other words, every difficulty in life can be overcome when we stop relying on our own strength. When I see someone who seems broken and lost, there is always one thing lacking in that person's life. It is the same one problem, time and time again. Until you realize how much God loves you and you seriously begin to pursue that love, you will continue to feel broken and lost. You will repeat the same patterns and experience the same disappointments over and over. 

What do you want that is different? Perhaps you need to do something different to get it. 

 

DON'T ABANDON HOPE: NO STORM LASTS FOREVER

                                                                                

                                                 

By Danelle Carvell

As we approach the two-year mark of Covid, an ongoing and very destructive storm, I feel the need to offer hope. Many of us are just plain tired and we are losing hope in seeing any kind of change. I feel it myself, especially after spending an entire day on Friday watching the chaos unfold in Canada. 

Watching that line of bullies who call themselves police push peaceful protesters around made me angry. I was furious and tired of watching evil win once again. I wanted so much to escape the stress of everything I have seen since March of 2019. It's been an emotional roller coaster. A bottle of wine and a taco truck was waiting for me at Springate Winery on Friday night and I couldn't wait. 

Canada is our northern neighbor. Knowing that this tyranny can happen to Canadians makes the possibility of it happening in America very real. The threat is getting too close for comfort, and it's causing a great deal of fear, anxiety and uncertainty. Even those who are grounded in the promises of God are being affected by what they are seeing. 

For almost two years, the enemy has used fear to both divide us and control us. Fear is so powerful that it shut down businesses and destroyed many of those businesses. It drove people to put faith in a face covering instead of putting faith in God. Even Christians ignored Psalm 91:10-11 and chose to fight with people over masks. None of them could prove that they worked, they only wanted something to protect them. Instead of prayer and faith, they chose to deprive their brain cells of oxygen and pushed others to do the same. 

I wonder how God felt as he watched his children put more faith in hand sanitizer, masks, and 6-foot distance than the faith they put in Him. I'm sure He was disappointed and saddened. But God has allowed this to play out for a purpose. The fear that the enemy stoked did cause people to turn back to God and evaluate their priorities. People are praying like never before. We are realizing that we need His help, not just for protection from a virus, but also for deliverance from the evil tyrants that are pushing us around and stripping away our freedoms. They want to control us and force us to live as slaves to their ways and their selfish ideas and beliefs. 

Two years ago my words would have sounded like a conspiracy theory. But on Friday, you saw for yourself that the threat is real and it's getting closer to your back yard. Justin Trudeau took orders from China and sent UN troops and the Ottawa police to bully a group of peaceful protesters, people who are only asking for freedom. When a government turns on its own citizens, it becomes tyrannical and can no longer be trusted. Adolph Trudeau declared himself a dictator on Friday. One of the protesters said that this is how it began when Hitler rose to power in Germany. She was in a wheelchair witnessing history repeat itself. 

My greatest source of hope right now is Elijah Streams on You Tube and Julie Green Ministries on Rumble. Steve Shultz was obviously placed on that platform for such a time as this to bring the world hope by interviewing prophets who speak God's word. And Julie Green has become my favorite prophet because she is naming names and being very specific with her prophecies.

 If you don't believe in prophets, then you also don't believe what's written in the Bible, a book that clearly tells us that God does not move without first telling His prophets what He is about to do.Get out your Bible and read Amos 3:7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:20.

Today I watched a very encouraging show on Elijah Streams featuring author and prophet, Donna Rigney. Her words were a comforting message of hope. She compared the glorious change that is coming to that of a caterpillar as it transforms into a butterfly. "This is taking longer than any of us thought, but we are on the winning side," she said. 

Listening to prophets like Donna Rigney will make you a believer very quickly because of the peace it brings to your mind. God speaks through prophets because He knows that life is difficult down here and He knows that we need encouragement, especially at this moment in history. Some of the prophets will recap their past predictions and then show recent news headlines that confirm those predictions. As you see their predictions actually happen again and again, you simply cannot deny that they are hearing from God.  

"We are living in exciting times, and we are blessed to be alive right now," Rigney said. She mentioned the freedom convoy that is starting on Wednesday in America. All over the world right now, people are participating in freedom walks. God is moving to wake people up to the deep-rooted wickedness that has overtaken the entire world. 

Rigney predicts that every tyrant across the world will be brought down as a great rescue event unfolds before our eyes. Corrupt leaders both in government and in the church will be exposed and their powers will dissolve as they face a variety of consequences including death. No one will be able to deny the glory of God when this storm finally ends. People will be shocked by what they see and what is revealed about well-known leaders and even celebrities.

My husband and I say all the time that it's hard not to hate these people who are destroying our country and stealing our freedoms. I do want to hate them, but they are also God's children and we should pray for their souls and refrain from rejoicing when we see them fall. "Keep your hearts pure toward the enemy," Rigney warned.  It is okay to rejoice when our freedoms are restored, but don't take pleasure in seeing your enemies suffer. 

Rigney said that 45 will be restored back to the presidency very soon, and his work to restore this land to greatness will be completed. God needs the United States to be great again so it can be used by His hand to bless all other nations in the world. All the prophets are saying this same thing. Trump will be back.

She ended her prophecy with an encouraging word for people like me who have been holding the line of faith and believing that God is working behind the scenes for the past two years. For those who did not fear Covid and for those who spoke truth and tried to encourage and educate others, a great blessing is coming.

This is what the Lord spoke: "A holy jealousy will arise in this world as those who are far from us (nonbelievers) see our blessings and they will know that in order to receive My best, they must surrender all and become mine. I am going to display my children for all to see. Their blessed lives will mark a difference so dramatic that it cannot be denied that they truly are sons and daughters of the most high God." 

Yes, it has been a long storm, but no storm lasts forever, so don't abandon hope. Hold your peace and remain at rest. God is fighting for his children and things are about to shift. Which side will you be on when it happens?

    

  

 

THE HARDEST TWO WORDS

                                                                                

Living with siblings is good training for learning to apologize. I wasn't great at it back then (about 1977)

By Danelle Carvell

When was the last time you said, "I'm sorry"? Most of us know instantly when we say or do something hurtful. The negative reaction we get is usually the best indicator. But knowing that we hurt someone doesn't always prompt us to make things right. 

I have been on both the receiving end of an apology and on the giving end. And I know without a doubt that there is no better way to make yourself feel better than to offer an apology, and there is no better way to make others feel better than to offer an apology. It is a powerful act of love that takes a great deal of strength, courage and humility. 

Only someone with a strong self-esteem and a conscientious, caring heart is capable of admitting a wrong. It is so much easier to deny a hurtful comment or make excuses. It's more comfortable to laugh it off or say, "I was just joking." Sometimes the offender will blame the person who is feeling hurt. "You're too sensitive," is a common come back. Anything we can do to take the blame off of ourselves after behaving badly is the easy way out and most people go that route. 

And that refusal to apologize can cause a hurt to fester, sometimes to the point of destroying a relationship or changing it forever. Things may never be the same because one person can't admit messing up. 

Why is it so difficult to apologize? I googled that question and after reading several articles on the subject I learned something interesting. I wanted to put it into my own words instead of quoting a bunch of articles. 

The one thing that was mentioned over and over again about why people find it so hard to apologize is the emotional and mental strength of the offender. Someone who is mentally and emotionally healthy knows that apologizing will not destroy them. But for the person who is unstable in those areas, admitting a wrong is devastating to their self-esteem. Saying I'm sorry is not something they are capable of because they already have such a low opinion of themselves. They simply can't fess up to their mistakes because it would totally destroy their already fragile sense-of-self. 

Wow! What a revelation it was to learn that. While we may be upset with someone who refuses to apologize, understanding why they find it so difficult is an eye-opener. And it can be helpful toward our ability to move on and move past the hurt. 

I think the world is filled with billions of apologies that are owed to people. But most of those apologies will never reach the ears of those who need to hear them. And the healing that those apologies would bring will never be felt.

I know one thing...I want to be strong enough to apologize right here and right now so I never have to feel nagging regrets about hurting people in this life or the next. To me, an apology is one of the most freeing and loving things I could possibly do. It feels just as good to me as it does to the person I hurt, and I'm grateful that I have the strength for it. I wish everyone had that strength. Apologies are beautiful to watch and the healing they induce are even more beautiful. God loves a cheerful apologizer.