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Saturday, February 5, 2011

LOVE IS IN THE BOUNDARIES

By Danelle Carvell
When I was a kid, all I needed was to see a certain look on my dad's face and I snapped to attention.  The thought of arguing with him or protesting my punishment never crossed my mind.  He spoke. I listened.  And I immediately did what he asked.  Disrespecting my parents was not an option.  I didn't dare talk back or even question the discipline I received.

Fast forward thirty plus years.  Children today have no such respect for their parents.  In some cases the parents are to blame because they don't enforce rules or follow through with discipline.  They strive to be their child's buddy rather than an authority figure.  To keep the peace, parents allow their children to do whatever they want and fail to instill good character traits that will help them survive as adults.  When they leave home, those kids can't even function in the real world because they are lazy, undisciplined, disrespectful, and still expecting to get their own way.

A child raised without boundaries soon discovers that employers and bill collectors aren't as forgiving as the parent who longed to be a pal.  Did those parents do their kids any favors by being soft?  They raised children who have no life skills because they weren't taught those skills at home... simple things like picking up after yourself, being responsible, respecting others, being honest and keeping your word.  They might lose a job, be deserted by a spouse, or even get in trouble with the law because they weren't trained by parents who dared to discipline, parents who dared to teach them that poor choices and bad behavior have consequences.

I"m glad I was raised by a strict father who only had to snap his black leather belt to bring his children in line with his authority.  I can't imagine where I would be if I had been allowed to have everything I wanted and do whatever I pleased.  I can't imagine a childhood without boundaries.

1 comment:

Deanna Wiseman said...

Thank You for posting this. Children don't know they need boundaries. And it's a thankless job until they're on their own. Then they'll thank you.