I used to be one of them...those try-to-be-perfect women. I exercised like a maniac to stay a size four. I applied make-up with thoughtful precision. Never would I let myself be anything but perfect. I thought that's the way women needed to be. If I wasn't perfect, I wasn't deserving of anything, not even love.
I guess it was getting older that brought me to my senses. Slowly I climbed over that wall of perfection I had in front of me and began to relax. Now and then I dared to show my flaws, admit my insecurities, and be real instead of perfect. I became better at apologizing, which is impossible for the try-to-be perfects.
Women responded differently to the new imperfect me. They laughed with me, opened up their hearts to me, and felt more comfortable around me. I had taken off my tiara and suddenly I was approachable. I went from being a snow queen to being someone women could relate to.
Sadly, I see many snow queens around me still. Women who can't let themselves be anything but perfect. They are too proud to admit their lives aren't perfect. Too proud to admit their husbands aren't perfect. Too proud to admit their children aren't perfect They have to keep everyone fooled. The fairy tale must continue.
What would I say to a snow queen? I'd say this: You're wearing yourself out with all this pretending. You're playing a part you're not getting paid for. Let the world see the real imperfect you. The rewards for that are much greater than what you'll get from wearing the tiara.
Nobody likes a snow queen. Snow queens are lonely because the icy wall of perfection keeps people away. People appreciate vulnerability. They have compassion for women who faulter at times. But they can't relate to someone who won't let her life look messy. You're not fooling anyone anyway. People know your life isn't perfect. Why not let yourself be real and see the difference it makes.
Megyn Kelly of Fox News learned this lesson and she writes about it here.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/08/19/fox-news-anchor-megyn-kelly-on-her-a-ha-moment.html
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